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Friends with your kids?

  • 17-08-2020 9:10pm
    #1
    mr_fegelien
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭


    Excuse me, I'm not a parent but have always heard these words of wisdom from people. "You shouldn't be friends with your kids".

    Can I ask why not? Why not both? I assume people mean that a teenager needs guidance and a parent who neglects their parental duties in favor of pleasing the kid will leave the kid ending up unprepared for life.

    But I have a close friend whose parents divorced when he was young. His mother married another guy who was pretty into the New-Age parenting. My friend said his new dad was a friend as well as a parent.

    You'd think that my friend now struggles his life cause of 'liberal' parenting but no, he's studying law at UCD and getting an internship at a high powered law firm in America. Meanwhile I grew up with strict as **** parents and though I'm getting places, not doing as well.

    So I'm saying things are not so black and white. Maybe some kids are mature and intelligent enough that their parents don't need to take the parental role as much but can be friends with them.

    Just food for thought.


Comments

  • #2
    zanador
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 505 ✭✭✭zanador


    There are three broad types of parent:

    1. Authoritarian
    2. Authoritative
    3. Laissez-faire

    Authoritarian parents make boundaries and judgements based on a system of strict discipline, rules and harsh punishments.

    Authoritative parents make boundaries based on communication, no judgement of character only behaviour, and strict boundaries around respect etc.

    Laissez-faire parents are the ones who have no boundaries. Some are absent, some want to be friends with their kids to the extent of not being a parent.

    Studies have shown that not surprisingly it is the children of authoritative parents who are most likely to be happy and successful in their lives.

    Although authoritarian parents create many issues for their children it is the laissez faire parents children who are the least successful in later life as they have no idea how to set and maintain any form of boundary.

    Authoritative parents are strict when necessary and friends when not.


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