Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

An ex-gf responded to a childminding ad I posted online. Should I ignore it?

  • 02-08-2020 8:12am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    It was a strange situation waking up to an email from someone I thought I'd never be in any sort of communication with again. For context, she was my first love, and my only ever other long-term girlfriend. I was with her until I was 21, and I'm 29 now. I was single from 21 to 24, and then I got in another relationship, from which my daughter was born.

    My current relationship has been on the ropes lately. In truth, I never properly processed the failure of my first relationship and how it ended. My mind still goes back to it sometimes, 8 years after it ended.

    I was with my ex for 3 years but it ended pretty terribly. I said some harsh things that I shouldn't have said in response to what I felt was a very harsh way to end the relationship (text message). The result was a total blocking out of each other from our respective lives, which has lasted for the 8 years since the relationship ended.

    To my dilemma, I need some childcare for my young daughter so I posted an ad online about it. I had no idea what my ex was doing with herself in life, and I'm assuming she has no idea I have a child because I keep a low profile online.

    In most circumstances with an amicable split, the straightforward answer would probably be to reply, revealing who I am, and say that it wouldn't suit. But the circumstances here are making me wonder if I should bother acknowledging the message. It sounds like it might open up a can of worms, or cause some leftover anger to resurface for her.

    I also question my own motives for even thinking of replying. On the surface it sounds like the kind thing to do, but given our past, my desire to reply seems like a subtle way to reestablish communication in the hope maybe I'll get some answers. I feel ignoring is the best option but I'm looking for some outside advice. Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Ignore it. If she doesn’t know you placed the ad she will put it down to the job being filled by someone else. If she does know it’s your ad you will be making life incredibly messy for yourself by answering.

    I presume you are not even going to entertain the option that she mind your child because that would be crazy and disrespectful to your current partner.

    If you’re relationship is struggling at the moment focus on working through that. You won’t make it any better by reconnecting with your ex and you’re mad to even consider it.


Advertisement