Going to my first weddings this year. Any advice?

ancapailldorcha

So... I have multiple weddings later this year that it looks like I'll have to attend. Well, I don't know how the travel restrictions will figure into it but we'll see.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice. I've sorted my suit out. Just need to get gifts and hopefully that's it. One of the weddings is a close friend and the other is a sibling. I've helped cater countless weddings but I've never been on the other side.

My family aren't really that ostentatious thankfully. My mate is quite down to earth as well.

KaneToad

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

So... I have multiple weddings later this year that it looks like I'll have to attend. Well, I don't know how the travel restrictions will figure into it but we'll see.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice. I've sorted my suit out. Just need to get gifts and hopefully that's it. One of the weddings is a close friend and the other is a sibling. I've helped cater countless weddings but I've never been on the other side.

My family aren't really that ostentatious thankfully. My mate is quite down to earth as well.

No advice. But, my deepest condolences.

endacl

Rock the boat o’clock is go to bed o’clock.

Purple Mountain

Need a plus 1???

Del2005

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

So... I have multiple weddings later this year that it looks like I'll have to attend. Well, I don't know how the travel restrictions will figure into it but we'll see.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice. I've sorted my suit out. Just need to get gifts and hopefully that's it. One of the weddings is a close friend and the other is a sibling. I've helped cater countless weddings but I've never been on the other side.

My family aren't really that ostentatious thankfully. My mate is quite down to earth as well.

Give them cash then they can buy what they like.

Dtp1979

What exactly is your question?

Spanish Eyes

Decline for your mate and give a decent amount in a cheque with a kind message, no explanations required.

Sibling one is not that easy though.

Weddings are a pain. Anyway apart from sibling which I doubt you can dodge, the rest of them will be delighted if you decline, due to the restrictions on numbers.

No sing songs late at night, no dancing at close quarters, no sitting up close to a possible partner in the seating arrangements for meal either. Sounds delightful.

joe40

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

So... I have multiple weddings later this year that it looks like I'll have to attend. Well, I don't know how the travel restrictions will figure into it but we'll see.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice. I've sorted my suit out. Just need to get gifts and hopefully that's it. One of the weddings is a close friend and the other is a sibling. I've helped cater countless weddings but I've never been on the other side.

My family aren't really that ostentatious thankfully. My mate is quite down to earth as well.

For close friend or sibling I would put 200 euro in a card.

Enjoy the day, I'm missing weddings now. A few years ago I had multiple weddings every summer and it became a bit much. They eventually dry up though. I'll have to wait on nephews and nieces now for big days out.
Easy to be cynical but I actually enjoy weddings generally.

Spanish Eyes

joe40 wrote: »

For close friend or sibling I would put 200 euro in a card.

Enjoy the day, I'm missing weddings now. A few years ago I had multiple weddings every summer and it became a bit much. They eventually dry up though. I'll have to wait on nephews and nieces now for big days out.
Easy to be cynical but I actually enjoy weddings generally.

How could you miss Weddings. It's not as if they are all different. Formulaic.

Well let's see...

Gather at the church or the venue.

Move on to the next place or wherever you are and eat canapes and WTF prosecco. lol.

Hang around while the photos are taken and get tiddly eyed.

Then be summoned to dinner

Then listen to speeches,

Then have a feed and a night of mad dancing..... well that's not happening anytime soon

ancapailldorcha

Dtp1979 wrote: »

What exactly is your question?

Nothing specific. Just wondering if anyone here might have any specific advice, do's and don'ts, that sort of thing.

Ray Donovan

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Nothing specific. Just wondering if anyone here might have any specific advice, do's and don'ts, that sort of thing.

1) My wife & I always give €200 in a card. If no plus 1 give €100

2) My favourite part is the few pints straight after the church in the local pub.

3) When the sing song starts after the band, go to bed. The good of the day is gone at that stage. You’ll be thankful the next day.

JustAThought

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Nothing specific. Just wondering if anyone here might have any specific advice, do's and don'ts, that sort of thing.

Buy great socks and a different good tie for each wedding - with all the kneeling and photos they will be on show!

Don’t go down the dangerous road of mKing any adverse or comparative comment between the weddings - find things to compliment each innand don’t compare or criticise - it will get back!

Secretly smuggle un & Bring your own pillow to the Hotel - don’t risk the hotels they will be full of Covid-19 germs - din’t tell anyone else or they will realie too late you are right and freak out. Pillows are NEVER laundered & people breathe into them all night.

Din’t bring anyone who wears white or cream and if they try that on tell them to change!

Have a great time!

Spanish Eyes

Really and honestly does anyone REALLY like weddings (apart from immediate family).

Be honest now!

joe40

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

How could you miss Weddings. It's not as if they are all different. Formulaic.

Well let's see...

Gather at the church or the venue.

Move on to the next place or wherever you are and eat canapes and WTF prosecco. lol.

Hang around while the photos are taken and get tiddly eyed.

Then be summoned to dinner

Then listen to speeches,

Then have a feed and a night of mad dancing..... well that's not happening anytime soon

I know weddings aren't for everyone, but I do enjoy them. Especially the part after the church and before the meal.

That can always be enjoyable catching up with friends or family that I haven't met in awhile. Usually a bit of crack and conversation.
The meal and speeches are a drag absolutely but I usually enjoy the rest of the night. I'm not one for the dance floor myself, but other people enjoying themselves adds to the atmosphere.
They're all formulaic but with the right company I usually enjoy weddings. Some better than others granted but I don't dread them. Each to their own I suppose.

Ray Donovan

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Really and honestly does anyone REALLY like weddings (apart from immediate family).

Be honest now!

All depends on who’s getting married and who I know going. Can’t tar all weddings with the same brush. I have a few next year that should be great weekends (Coronavirus permitting)

Spanish Eyes

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Nothing specific. Just wondering if anyone here might have any specific advice, do's and don'ts, that sort of thing.

My mantra is to go to immediate family weddings, always enjoy them and we slag each other and have a great laugh.

But for anyone outside of the family whether friend, colleague or whatever it is ALWAYS a polite decline. Sitting at a table with those you have absolutely nothing in common is hard work.

The Bride and Groom won't care about the peripheral guests, believe me.

Del2005

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Really and honestly does anyone REALLY like weddings (apart from immediate family).

Be honest now!

Who says the immediate family like the wedding. It's usually all for the bride.

Spanish Eyes

Del2005 wrote: »

Who says the immediate family like the wedding. It's usually all for the bride.

Touche (with a fada) my friend lol.

Newbie20

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

My mantra is to go to immediate family weddings, always enjoy them and we slag each other and have a great laugh.

But for anyone outside of the family whether friend, colleague or whatever it is ALWAYS a polite decline. Sitting at a table with those you have absolutely nothing in common is hard work.

The Bride and Groom won't care about the peripheral guests, believe me.

So you have never been to one of your friends weddings?

Rubberchikken

They are formulaic I'll give you that but I still enjoy them.
Have no interest in drinking, always driving anyway but I love a meal put in front of me:) and some chat and a laugh isn't a bad thing anytime.


Op, don't have any do/don't other than if you go, enjoy yourself.

El Gato De Negocios

Most of my friends are already married so my wedding days are gone at this stage. We do have one next month but its a couple in their 60s and only 50 or so people going so it won't be a traditional one. I love a good wedding tbh. I moved away from my home town many years ago so they are great to catch up with old friends, same with family ones. Having said that, I have declined a couple over the last 2 years for cousins I wouldnt be fond of. Having kids is a great excuse!

Tig98

Ahh, disappointed to see weddings taking a bashing. Once you get past the highly structured nature of it it's good craic. Loads of drink, craic, food and music. I love the novelty of getting scuttered and then only having to go up stairs instead of the whole taxi home rigmarole. The only time weddings can be a bit of a trek is if you want youre a plus one and don't know many there.

I'd definitely second the advice about not speaking negatively about the day in any way. You've no idea who you're talking to half the time and it could easily get back to the wrong person

_Kaiser_

joe40 wrote: »

For close friend or sibling I would put 200 euro in a card.

Enjoy the day, I'm missing weddings now. A few years ago I had multiple weddings every summer and it became a bit much. They eventually dry up though. I'll have to wait on nephews and nieces now for big days out.
Easy to be cynical but I actually enjoy weddings generally.

200 quid? Jaysus! Is that from a couple?

I have only ever been to a handful of weddings and most of them have been boring, tedious affairs surrounded by complete strangers for the day. Not something I'd be in a rush to accept, but thankfully everyone is mostly married anyway now.

biko

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Nothing specific. Just wondering if anyone here might have any specific advice, do's and don'ts, that sort of thing.

I also didn't see a specific question but as I have been to lots of wedding, as guest, best man, and groom, all I can say is - have fun
Do bring a nice card in an envelope with some money.

Drink, dance and be merry!

ancapailldorcha

Ray Donovan wrote: »

1) My wife & I always give €200 in a card. If no plus 1 give €100

2) My favourite part is the few pints straight after the church in the local pub.

3) When the sing song starts after the band, go to bed. The good of the day is gone at that stage. You’ll be thankful the next day.

Thanks. This is the sort of thing I was after. Money feels lazy but given that I'll be coming from the UK, it might be the best option.

JustAThought wrote: »

Buy great socks and a different good tie for each wedding - with all the kneeling and photos they will be on show!

Don’t go down the dangerous road of mKing any adverse or comparative comment between the weddings - find things to compliment each innand don’t compare or criticise - it will get back!

Secretly smuggle un & Bring your own pillow to the Hotel - don’t risk the hotels they will be full of Covid-19 germs - din’t tell anyone else or they will realie too late you are right and freak out. Pillows are NEVER laundered & people breathe into them all night.

Din’t bring anyone who wears white or cream and if they try that on tell them to change!

Have a great time!

Interesting. What constitutes great socks out of curiosity? I've always just bought packs of them from M&S.

893bet

It cool not to like weddings, very edgy and originally.

I love a bit of rock the boat myself. Rarely been to a bad wedding. It’s not often you get opportunity to get all your friends or family together.

seamus

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Really and honestly does anyone REALLY like weddings (apart from immediate family).

Be honest now!

I absolutely love weddings. An excuse to get smartly dressed up and take a whole day where you have basically nothing to do but stand around and talk sh1t. OK, so the church is boring, but it's only 45 minutes in the day. I've also frequently played music for friends' ceremonies, which gives me something to do for the church bit, and gets you nicely buzzed for the rest of the day.

Weddings where you know everyone and know no-one I also find great, but in different ways. At one you get to see and talk to a load of people you like. At the other you get to throw caution to the wind and talk to a load of randomers who are all in great form.

I can take or leave the traditional rock the boat wedding rubbish. Much prefer a good live band myself, but even they can be very formulaic. I'll usually just retire to the bar if it's a by-the-numbers music set.

Ray Donovan wrote: »

3) When the sing song starts after the band, go to bed. The good of the day is gone at that stage. You’ll be thankful the next day.

Depends on how drunk you are, in my experience. If the sing song starts and you're thinking "maybe I should take a break before the next pint", then it's time for bed. Nothing worse than being handed the guitar to do a piece you know backwards and you make a balls of it because you're so scuttered.

If you're still on form though, the sing-song can be the peak of the night. I find this usually happens on the second night (if they're doing that!), when you've been hungover half the day, so you didn't start really drinking until dinnertime and you're relatively sober at 10pm.

The only advice I'd give is to plough your own furrow on the day. If you're hungry, sneak off and get yourself a sandwich and chips. Too often I've stood around waiting to see what the plan was, and before I know it, it's time for dinner and I've already had five pints. Find the best man or chief bridesmaid and ask them what time dinner is. Whatever time they say, add an hour to it, that's when you're going to eat. So if it's 2 o'clock and you haven't eaten since breakfast, go get some lunch.

Strumms

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Really and honestly does anyone REALLY like weddings (apart from immediate family).

Be honest now!

I like when I get the invite telling me that I’m cordially invited to the ‘afters’ in xyz hotel...

I like to ‘celebrate’ with the couple, friends and family... getting up at stupid o’clock having spent the night before ironing, pressing the suit that you haven’t worn in three years and you hope still fit into, to drag your arse to a freezing cold church for an hour, to be lectured by a strange fella about love, a guy who is not really allowed be in love or himself get married....

ancapailldorcha

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

So... I have multiple weddings later this year that it looks like I'll have to attend.............

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

......Any advice ............

Cash for gifts, the folk getting married don't want presents.

If you don't have a pair of proper shoes having multiple weddings looming is a great reason to buy a pair. They'll complement a decent suit and make a poor suit look better.

joe40

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

200 quid? Jaysus! Is that from a couple?

I have only ever been to a handful of weddings and most of them have been boring, tedious affairs surrounded by complete strangers for the day. Not something I'd be in a rush to accept, but thankfully everyone is mostly married anyway now.

200 euro for a couple yeah. I got married in 2000, 20 years ago most cash presents were 100 pound (129 euro i think) so I don't think 200 euro today for two people is unreasonable.

listermint

Give a cash gift.


Enjoy the day, dont forget sunglasses.


Also ignore the absolute depressing folks on boards who always have a negative view on weddings.

Weddings are for catching up with old friends , reminiscing and having a bit of fun. Treat it as such.