Confused about dating during Covid19

Monkey09

I'm hoping to get some advice regarding dating during Covid19. I'll try my best to keep this short and to the point.

I started chatting to a guy on Tinder in May. We're both in our early thirties. I'm Irish, while he is from another country, but has been living here long-term.

Things quickly progressed to messaging on WhatsApp. Due to restrictions, we had some video calls and lots of messaging. Communication with him is easy and we have lots in common. Our video calls generally last for 2 hours. I'm so happy to have met someone I click with so well.

Anyway, we arranged to meet in person and have had 3 dates so far. All went really well and we have plans to meet up again this weekend. He's in touch very frequently and most days, we are in touch on and off throughout the day. He's the one doing all the running with texting and arranging dates.

Anyway, to get to the point - there has been no physical contact between us at all. He has not tried to kiss me or even hold my hand. This confuses me. I'm not sure if he's considering current restrictions or whether he's just not that into me - which would be weird considering all the video calls and messaging. However, these thoughts are making me question if he's only interested in friendship and practising his English with me..

I dated a guy a few months ago. By the end of the 6th date, there was still no kiss. I agreed to meet him again on the basis that there seemed to be potential there, but not surprisingly, it fizzled out.. I just don't want the same thing to happen again. I told myself that time that if there was no kiss by the end of the 3rd date, I'd pull the plug on it..

I'd really appreciate any advice on this. Thanks in advance!

leggo

The easy answer is to just ask. Like if you met on Tinder, it's a romantic situation and you're fair to assume interest if they pursue it. So it's a reasonable question. It's not like asking someone in work why they haven't kissed you yet or anything.

Also worth keeping in mind is that these things generally happen mutually. A lot of people can believe stuff like, "It's the man's job to make the first move" and so on, which is just not true in 2020 and something they only believe because it gets them off the hook for something that's difficult on both sides. So he could be thinking the EXACT same thing as you OP. Maybe he feels the opportunity hasn't arisen yet, maybe he's worried you're seriously about maintaining social distancing. Basically he's a person, just like you, with insecurities, anxieties and the lot in there. So him not making a move doesn't signify anything more than you not making the move because it's a two-way street. And if he's continuing to pursue things then, yes, that would imply he's still interested. So just ask.

the_pen_turner

This is your second relationship to stall from lack of progress. What moves are you maki g to more forward.

Sounds like you are waiting the other person to make the move but not doing it yourself

bitofabind

Could be a mixture of Covid-19 anxiety and you not giving him the positive reinforcement he needs. Like, what even are the rules around physical contact with strangers now, I can't keep up. I can imagine that being a bit of a minefield for him. If coupled with that, you haven't been instigating physical contact, he's probably playing it safe and keeping things in the comfort zone for now.