Feeling like I'm not cut out for my job

LegacyUser

I've been working in the same career for over 10 years and have been with my current company for 5 of those. I've been able to work my way up the ladder internally within the company and would have a reasonable level of responsibility. All sounds great, but I've this constant dread deep down that I'm in over my head and am not up for the job.

What has brought this about is that recently I missed something that I should have done on a project through sheer foolishness. Essentially I didn't follow the full instructions given. My manager told me something along the lines of "oh you just do it this way using XYZ method". I pretty much just heard the first part and never looked at the exact method. To use an analogy, it would be like a doctor administering medicine without checking the side effects first. Thankfully it all worked out fine, but it was only by luck, otherwise it would have been a potentially expensive fix.

I won't say what my exact job is for fear of being identified. However I will say that a serious mistake in my job could result in big financial repercussions for the company, or in the most severe of scenarios, death. I would think it is akin to say a car designer where a design fault would require a recall, but if it was missed it could result in someone crashing their car.

I think I started becoming complacent recently and unknowingly began overlooking things when I got greater responsibilities on projects. I was too focused on the bigger picture of trying to get the project completed on time and within budget. In my company everyone seems to get a high workload and are under a lot of pressure to deliver.

The recent error refocused my mind and then I started picking up other mistakes. Things that I should have realised at the time, but for some reason didn't register. They were easily fixed, but I didn't like the fact that I hadn't caught them earlier.

I get these periods on and off where I would be somewhat satisfied with my job when projects are going well, but as soon as a problem comes up I just want to pack it in. I don't know if this is normal or even healthy. Maybe the problem periods are normal, but the way I deal with it isn't.

I tend to overlook some things and when I spot them later on I'm annoyed with myself but say that I'll catch it on the next project, but then a different problem comes up that I didn't think about. My manager tells me that this is all part of the job and you learn best from your mistakes, but I can't help but think of possible mistakes I have already missed. I'm sure it's happened to me at some stage without realising it.

I also feel I pester my manager daily. I continually ask him questions about things - either that I have never come across before or where I just don't trust my gut. He always tries to give me time, but ultimately I feel like he's annoyed that I'm bothering him or that I should know this and shouldn't be asking such a simple question. Although it's possible that's just his persona as he is quite stand-offish. I do feel that at 35 years old I should be able to work independently, but I am always looking for guidance. I don't use up much of his time, maybe 30-60 minutes a day, but each question I ask I feel like he thinks less of me for not knowing.

I would have thought after working for so many years that I would get over all this worry, but it keeps cropping up. Maybe it's normal, but it doesn't feel like it and I don't think I can talk to anyone in the company about it for fear of being labelled incompetent. Am I just not cut out for this line of work?

qwerty13

30 to 60 minutes a day is a huge chunk of anyone’s time to routinely take up.

Do you feel that your issue is down to training, or lack of confidence, or lack of focus? As you were promoted internally, I imagine your employer was aware of your abilities - so I doubt that the problem lies there. Are you delegating properly? Is there a mentor programme you could participate in?

sadie1502

When you mention possibly death no idea what you do but I can't blame you for questioning if youre suited. That's kinda scary imo. Maybe a career break to figure it out? Or more training? When it comes to peoples lives you are right to question if youre cut out for the role.

Xterminator

Being happy in your job is a huge factor in your sense of well being.

Life is too short to be unhappy and in fear at work. Sit down with your boss and discuss your thoughts. Get some feedback and make a decision.

cannotlogin

It's very hard to know but do you have reviews with manager where you could ask for honest feedback.

Anytime anyone who has worked with me felt they were struggling, I found a way to organise a suitable move for them and organise a transfer to a more suitable role while also ensuring their dignity was respected, I.e. lateral move rather than demotion but just something that suited their strenghts better if that's what they wanted. It will depend on thr size of the organisation whether this is possible or not.

You need to establish if this is self doubt or a shared view. If it's self doubt, your manager will try eliminate it and build confidence. If the role isn't for you, your manager will have an interest in finding something more suitable too. It's difficult at times for people to give negative feedback, especially when a manager knows someone is trying & it's not an issue with effort but I think most managers are happy to give honest feedback if you raise a concern.

deemulryan

You probably dont realise how many people out there feel the same way.

Definitely speak with ur boss if you fee comfortable and im sure hell respect you for bein honest

LegacyUser

qwerty13 wrote: »

30 to 60 minutes a day is a huge chunk of anyone’s time to routinely take up.

Do you feel that your issue is down to training, or lack of confidence, or lack of focus? As you were promoted internally, I imagine your employer was aware of your abilities - so I doubt that the problem lies there. Are you delegating properly? Is there a mentor programme you could participate in?

I have someone working for me that would regularly take up this much time with me. To simplify it, my boss and me have the same role but he has much much more experience and will always know more than me. We deal with the same day to day issues, but instead of me spending hours of research into what the right answer might be, I tend to go directly to him and ask the question.

sadie1502 wrote: »

When you mention possibly death no idea what you do but I can't blame you for questioning if youre suited. That's kinda scary imo. Maybe a career break to figure it out? Or more training? When it comes to peoples lives you are right to question if youre cut out for the role.

Death is very unlikely, but it's always in the back of my mind. Think of how many doctors and nurses there are out there. I don't know how they deal with the higher stress where one mistake could cause the death of a patient. No one is infallible am I'm sure mistakes do happen.

cannotlogin wrote: »

You need to establish if this is self doubt or a shared view. If it's self doubt, your manager will try eliminate it and build confidence. If the role isn't for you, your manager will have an interest in finding something more suitable too. It's difficult at times for people to give negative feedback, especially when a manager knows someone is trying & it's not an issue with effort but I think most managers are happy to give honest feedback if you raise a concern.

I fear that if I express concern that it will be seen as weakness and he will think less of me. Maybe he's right to. Maybe he thinks I'm more capable than I am and why I'm getting inundated with work.

deemulryan wrote: »

You probably dont realise how many people out there feel the same way.

Definitely speak with ur boss if you fee comfortable and im sure hell respect you for bein honest

I think I might have to. I think it comes down to being under so much pressure to get things out on time that I don't get to give the project the attention it needs until the last minute. Then it's panic stations. It's never resulted in a serious issue, but has resulted in a lot of stressful moments that could have been resolved by spending more time on what I was doing.