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Feeling left behind (failure to launch)

  • 12-07-2020 6:58am
    Closed Accounts Posts: 48

    Hi all,

    Looking for some advice.

    I guess I'll jump right in.

    I'm 29 & still living at home. I want to move out but I don't know where to start. I have fear surrounding this, but it is time to grow up!

    I have always been a late bloomer - started college later/working later - due to a multitude of reasons - laziness, mental health & boozing too much. Because of this my social circle was generally the party types so I have failed to create many true friendships. I am working on these issues now through sobriety & therapy.

    All my jobs in the past have been short term but now I have been at a job I like since Sept 2019 and recently they have offered me a permanent position. It is a low paid job especially for someone with a degree, but it is a job nonetheless. I am also undertaking a post grad diploma (part time/evening)

    I don't know what step to take next. There are some options:

    - Continue to stay at home & save and then make a decision later (delaying what needs to be done)
    - Move out in Dublin somewhere (can I afford to?)
    - Learn to drive finally & potentially get a job & move to somewhere else in Ireland
    - My friend mentioned I should move to the UK (where he is based)

    Any advice?

    Have you been in a similar situation?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,607 ✭✭✭Bobtheman

    <Snip> There is no need to quote the entire post.

    I think it sounds like you are moving in the right direction overall. Very positive.
    However I think you are perhaps attempting too much too quickly.
    Get your driving license because that will give you a huge amount of freedom and choice.
    I'd save some money as a safety net. Adjust to work.
    Then in six months or so move out if you feel ready. You mentioned sobriety. How long are you sober? Is this well established?
    I just think you might be trying too much too soon. Get the license/ save.
    That's enough to be getting on with
    You are doing what needs to be done. There is no exact timeline. The timeline is what you decide.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,751 ✭✭✭spurshero

    Bobtheman wrote: »
    <Snip>There is no need to quote the entire post.

    This is great advice . Your not 30 yet . And as you say yourself your a late bloomer . If your getting promoted at work your doing a lot right . Defo learn to drive . Everything else will fall into place when needs be .

  • Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes

    My advice is do what you want to do and take a path that will bring you to where you want to be in 5 years time.

    Don't worry about comparing your development to others etc.

    Just get a bit further for yourself each day etc.

    Is the UK something you have your heart set on?

    Or do you just need to live in Dublin because you just do?

    It's only you that you have to make happy. No one is really thinking oh look at this person and how they are living etc. They are too busy with their own lives.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,202 ✭✭✭Tork

    Learn how to drive while you're still living at home and can afford to pay for lessons. You don't have to buy a car straight away (or ever) but it is an invaluable skill. Being unable to drive can be severely limiting so don't put that off. You can then hire cars, drive company vehicles etc.

    If your job is permanent, I think you should stay in it for now. It will look better on your CV after all those short-term jobs you had before. Something else to consider is the economic uncertainty that may come our way in the next because of Covid-19 and Brexit. Now doesn't sound like a great time to be heading to the UK, though I'm sure I'll be told I'm talking nonsense. You can always move in the future. I think staying put for now and getting your ducks in a row is the best approach.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,607 ✭✭✭Bobtheman

    Just advice on the sobriety-after having some experience in this area-unless its a few years old be cautious.

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