What does being "Good" mean to you.

I am in work and for the past while have been getting paid to just sit here. As I can be lazy and daydreamy this suits me. It also means I can post rubbish on this place.

This thread is inspired by the "Are you good" one. How do you define that word? What sort of life must you live in order to feel that you are "good"? I use the word "you" specifically because I see it as subjective.

For me I do the best I can to be a decent person but sometimes I get it wrong and then sometimes I don't do my best. Kindness and compassion for others, having integrity and being brave to speak out in the face of unfairness, those things are what being "good" means to me. Also being able to take responsibility for your actions and for who you are.

Doing things for others can be a funny one because the action can come from an insincere place. For example, "I will give you a lift because it will make me feel like I'm a caring person and show you that I am". Or it can come from a place of insecurity and low self worth, "I will give you a lift because I'm too nervous to say no".

All of that I find very interesting.




Edited to add: They have found things for me to do. Jesus.

:pac:

dzsfah2xoynme9

Being good=not being a gowlbag

Wanderer78

Doing loads of coke and being a general ****

jimgoose

Mr. Montana will explain:

bitofabind

It's an interesting one. I think I have an inherent feeling that I'm a good person because I experience immediate uneasiness and shame when my behaviour represents a slip of integrity. But I guess things aren't always that black and white. I'm reminded of that quote: "All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."

My achilles heels are laziness and ego I would say. I can procrastinate a lot. I can get embroiled in drama, especially if I feel some sort of slight against me. I was raised to work hard, be honest, kind and see the goodness in people, so acting outside of my values always comes with consequences (low self-esteem, addictive tendencies, moderate depression, a tendency to self-isolate)

My sense of integrity has been used against me in the past though. I work in Sales and my tendency to self-blame when things don't go to plan has been used to others' advantage: "if you're good enough, you'll close the deal" type of thing. Say that to someone whose self-worth is directly connected to their accomplishments and their sense of doing what is "right" and you've got a high-performing depressive on your hands. Similarly, my sense of honesty and seeing good in others has led to naivety and manipulation by others who were good at acting like they were honest and good but were in fact the opposite.

I think it boils down to these micro decisions we make on a daily basis. Does it feel good and right to procrastinate all day and not do a tap just because I can get away with it? Does it feel honest to lie to my manager / friend / whoever just because it's easy? Does it feel right to gossip, to focus on others' failures, to not help someone when they need it? I'd see it as an easy versus 'right' scale - what's easy is all too often not what's right. If we try to do the right thing, and learn from our very human failures in not doing so, course correct and try to let that inner compass guide us even and especially when it's the harder path to take - I don't think you can ask more of a human than that.

For me I guess it just means making all my decisions - or finding ways to invest my time - that have an overall positive effect on the well being of myself and others and a negative effect on their suffering. If I do the opposite - or if I feel I wasted time through procrastination or any other way - that could have been invested in that endeavour I feel I failed that ideal.

Currently my biggest investment of time towards that is the "Jedi school training" I started for some local kids around here. It involves taking some "problem" kids in the local area and improving them and their life and well being by training them against a "Jedi Curriculum" I designed with some friends.

SlowMotion321

Haven't killed anyone yet! That's good right?

JoChervil

Deleted User wrote: »

For me I do the best I can to be a decent person but sometimes I get it wrong and then sometimes I don't do my best. Kindness and compassion for others, having integrity and being brave to speak out in the face of unfairness, those things are what being "good" means to me. Also being able to take responsibility for your actions and for who you are.

This.

The other thread actually mixes being good with doing the right thing, what is not always the same.

And as you've said being good to others sometimes is not a good thing at all and can even enable badness in others.

For me the most important is not to hurt others, than be good. Such a person would be good enough for me.

AllForIt

Interesting thread, but what I want to know is - are there are any vacancies where you work?

AllForIt

AllForIt wrote: »

Interesting thread, but what I want to know is - are there are any vacancies where you work?

None! I'm left to my own devices you see. My manager is in another location. She rings every now and then to make sure I'm still alive. The quietness is Covid related. I do however have actual work to do at 2pm and sure I'll feck off home then.

nthclare

[Deleted User] wrote: »

None! I'm left to my own devices you see. My manager is in another location. She rings every now and then to make sure I'm still alive. The quietness is Covid related. I do however have actual work to do at 2pm and sure I'll feck off home then.

You're damn right, and if you get your job done two hours a day and get paid for 8 hour's more power to you.

You're working smart and obviously you're skillful.
I'm similar myself, I'm given a job to do and I have it well covered in good time.

No doubt goody two shoes ass lickers will say we've the wrong attitude, and we're bold.

You should be breaking your nuts and be unhappy, stressed, a broken man and do it for nothing..

The general boards.ie rule of "don't be a d1ck" is a pretty good maxim to live by. Just attempt not to negatively impact the lives of others around you and you'll be grand. You don't have to go out of your way to help anybody, just don't make it harder for those you happen to be in your vicinity.

The amount of pricks you see who can ruin everybody's good spirits at the drop of a hat just because they want to do whatever the fcuk they want, no matter the consequences, is eye-watering.

I mean, just think of the negative impact of people who:
litter
play music in public
park where they want
don't pick up after their kids
don't pick up after their dog
don't put food back where it belongs in the supermarket
piss on the seat in toilets
abuse people in the food services / retail
don't use their indicators
cycle on the path
barge into others walking down the street
think foreigners are beneath them
think teenagers are beneath them
don't move over to the left lane
won't let anyone merge
drive into the middle of a yellow box
leave their crap on the seats of public transport
leave their crap all over the place in fast food restaurants
force their way onto a train/lift before anyone gets off
piss in someones garden at large events
don't acknowledge other drivers doing them a favour
don't let others skip ahead in the supermarket if they're only getting a few bits
don't allow space for others to pass on crowded footpaths
stop walking at the end of the escalators
spit in public
mock other peoples' interests
are food/drink/movie/music snobs
won't make room for other passengers on the bus etc
stand up while the plane is still moving


They're just ruining it for the rest of us. And sometimes for themselves, too. It isn't always deliberate, either. I sometimes cannot fathom how some folk are oblivious to the effect they have on others. But a lot of the time its just pure, self-serving greed.

I was getting a flight home one year, not exactly a situation many people enjoy but everyone has to endure. We went through the gate and onto the shuttle bus which was bringing us to the plane. Immediately, some plank sits in one of the outside seats and puts his bag on the inside one. The bus fills up so he puts his shades on, meaning he doesn't have to make eye contact with anyone. The last group of people on are an elderly couple accompanied by a lady with a baby in a pram. She also has all the baggage associated with travelling with an infant.

The two women sitting just inside the middle doors stand up to let the elderly couple sit down. Immediately, two lads from a golf group jump into the newly vacated seats and start slagging the others cos they have to stand. The mother with the pram is struggling with folding everything up to get on while holding the kid, so I say to my missus, in my 'everybody voice':

we're all stuck here until she's safely on the bus, someone should give her a hand

I'm stuck near the front, so after nobody moves to give her a hand I force my way past everyone and fold her pram for her and tell her to get on, and I'll look after it. Your man with the shades is still sitting there, staring ahead, so I lost it and told him if he didn't move in I was gonna sit on either his lap or his bag.

Being 'good' means being a good citizen, in my book.

Bobblehats

It means I can go the hack

Earthhorse

The first rule of being good, in my book, is firstly do no harm. In a way, that could technically mean just being neutral but honestly if we just eliminated the bad people do when they don't think of others the world would be a much better place.

But to be truly good I think it means doing a bit more than that; helping others out in whatever way. It could be donating money, staying late to help a colleague who's snowed under, paying someone a compliment or reaching out to a friend you know is down. All good things.

Deleted User wrote: »

Edited to add: They have found things for me to do. Jesus.

:pac:

That's not good! :eek:

Deleted User wrote: »

play music in public

For a good while there I was looking at this thinking "What's his problem with buskers?".

Kylta

I think its up to others to decide whether your good or not. A person can be fair or righteous in their approach to different things but it does not say their good. So I say let others tell you if your good. Oh, the word good as so many different connotations. Good bloke, good in the sack, etc etc etc.

nthclare

If you're good enough to be good it's not good to be validated for your goodness for your own good and the goodness of others good...

nthclare

If you're good enough to be good it's not good to be validated for your goodness for your own good and the goodness of others good...

so good he said it twice 😂