breastfeeding torture at 3 months

Uptheduff

I just want to vent. Ive been exclusively breastfeeding since my baby was born 14 weeks ago and its torture. I sought advice from midwives, doulas and lactation consultants in the first few weeks when I was in tears trying to get my baby fed and they all said "it shouldnt hurt, it looks fine, and have you tried x hold/technique" I've watched all the videos and tried all the different holds. My baby is well fed and growing, and not tongue tied. She's just a little savage when it comes to my boobs!

The pain started easing up at about 8 weeks in but in the last week or two its back with a vengence. I think my baby is starting to feel her teeth coming so she's biting down more and yanking herself off my nipple more often. Sometimes after a painful feed my boob (not just the nipple) will tingle and burn for hours after. Ive started pumping and feeding her with the bottle to avoid some of the sadism. Im sick of supposed experts telling me it shouldnt hurt. Yes, I know! thats why Im looking for help! I havnt given up because it cant continue to be this sore forever can it?

fits

No it really shouldn’t hurt. Fair play to you for persevering this long. One of mine had an awkward latch because he had a high palate which definitely led to pain at times. Lanolin cream really helped me. Others swear by the silver cups. Hope it eases for you soon.

PhoenixParker

Nipple shields?

Maybe you've tried them already, but if not lots of people use them successfully throughout their breastfeeding experience.

I hope you find something that works soon.

shesty

There is a breastfeeding thread sticky at the top of this page OP, that might have some useful advice.
But no, it shouldn"t hurt.

Loveinapril

I had a (hospital) lactation consultant assure me that everything looked perfect when my daughter fed. It was agony. I breastfed her older brother so I knew something wasn't right. It hurt so much that I ended up pumping exclusively. Even my PHN thought the feeding looked fine. Every few days I would try to feed from the breast again but it never worked. I only fed her for about 6 weeks due to other issues. A few months ago through intuition and a bit of research I discovered she has a top lip tie. I am so frustrated that it wasn't caught by professionals and it made our already short breastfeeding journey more difficult.

Lizardlegz

Loveinapril wrote: »

I had a (hospital) lactation consultant assure me that everything looked perfect when my daughter fed. It was agony. I breastfed her older brother so I knew something wasn't right. It hurt so much that I ended up pumping exclusively. Even my PHN thought the feeding looked fine. Every few days I would try to feed from the breast again but it never worked. I only fed her for about 6 weeks due to other issues. A few months ago through intuition and a bit of research I discovered she has a top lip tie. I am so frustrated that it wasn't caught by professionals and it made our already short breastfeeding journey more difficult.

+1. Hospital lactation consultants arent great. I was in bits breastfeeding my third and only because I had fed my 2 before I knew something wasnt right. I was reviewed by the hospital lactation consultant prior to discharge. Apparently baby defo didn’t have a tongue tie. She told me about a few different positions etc and left me to it. I was crying in pain. Nothing helped, no cups, shields or creams gave any relief and I dreaded every feed.

After a week at home and about to give up. Totally guilty, sore and depressed I got a private lactation consultant in. Low and behold tongue tie was diagnosed. Got it snipped a few days later and never had pain again....

bee06

Definitely make sure you are seeing an LC registered with the IBLCE. Anyone who tells you that it’s normal to be in pain for that long is talking out of their ar*e to be frank.

I’d recommend Orla Dorgan. She’s in cork but doing video consults. Or if you post where you are I’m sure someone can recommend one local.

Dont let this ruin your time with baby. What you have done so far is amazing. Have you tried express feeding more to allow for healing? Yes, breast is best, but think about how unhappy you are too. Mum's health is important.

I have experienced both with my kids, and found out that a happier mum is a happier baby.

SmallgirlBigcity

It does hurt. Saying it shouldnt hurt is not true and it annoys me that people say this. So it does hurt but only for the first few weeks and then the pain should go. I can't remember when but it did stop hurting for me after a few weeks and from then on it was quite comfortable.
When my nipples were very sore, I used angel cups which I can't recommend enough. They are silver cups that you wear on your nipples in your bra between feeds. They are like magic and I would recommend them to everyone!
That bring said, please don't feel pressured to continue breastfeeding if you don't want to. I've exclusively breastfed my 7 month old and at the beginning we had issues (mastitis, cracked nipples etc) but then we found our groove and haven't looked back. I love it but honestly don't worry about switching to bottle and/or formula if that makes your life easier. Do what makes your life easier and what makes you happy and forget what anyone else says. Happy mum equals happy baby! Hope this helps.

Minier81

I am so sorry to hear you are having such trouble OP. Not all lactation consultants are IBCLC (certified). Have you tired calling your local la leche League or cuidui group? They will give you free advice. I would be suspicious of the latch and as other have said tongue time etc is not always easy to spot. It should not hurt as you have described. We all have bad day or occasions where it might hurt but not in a sustained way all the time.

Unfortunately the support is awful, the hospital midwife and LC and phnsupport are hit and miss. Any struggles I had early day were met by supplementing with formulafrom the hospital midwives, which I found soul destroying. If I had chosen to move to bottle feed, I wanted it to be my choice.

You are doing an amazing job, try calling lll or cuidui. Alot of them are doing zoom meeting now also so you can talk with other breastfeeding mothers, all of this helps I found.

Hugs x

scarepanda

Get someone properly trained to recheck if your baby has a tongue/lip tie, not just a lactation consultant. They are not always visible to the eye. A lot of people, including midwives and lactation consultants base their assessment on whether or not there's a tongue tie on whether the baby has a visual tie. But as I learned with baby no 2 a tongue tie is due to the elasticity of the membrane, not how much of a membrane you can see. A baby can have a grade/level 4 tie that's not visual as the tie is so far back, but not elastic enough to allow baby to move their tongue sufficiently, but another baby can have a very obvious membrane, but elastic enough not to cause any issues, if that makes sense?

I fed baby no 1 for 2 years using a shield. I could not feed her any other way as it was so painful. I started to get sore in the same way with baby no2 in the hospital and ended up self referring baby to Dr Justin Roche tongue tie clinic in clonmel. It's not cheap, but very glad I did get the tie snipped as we haven't looked back once I built up the courage to go without a shield. Based on questions asked during the assessment for no 2, I'm convinced baby no 1 had a tie, probably a grade 4 which is why no one thought she had one.

Fair play for not giving up if it's a case that you do want to continue. It's one hell of a sore dose. But if it's any help, I found with both of mine, it gets so much more enjoyable once solids start.

Sarah1916

I am sorry to hear it hasn’t been enjoyable for you. If you haven’t already, you should definitely invest in silver cups they are amazing

Uptheduff

Thanks for the feedback ladies, it's reassuring to know I'm not alone. I was a bit pee'd off after seeing a post on a breastfeeding support group on FB that said pain during breastfeeding is a myth. I thought it was a very alienating thing to state in a support group. If it was a myth why would there be any need for support?

I've been in touch with cuidu and hopefully some of their advice will be worthwhile. If it doesn't improve I'll try engaging the paid services.

I did find this article https://thetruthaboutbreastfeeding.com/category/research/strong-suck/ it pretty much describes what I'm experiencing so even if I'm doomed to pain, at least I know why

jaja321

Another recommendation for the silver cups here. They really do work. Best of luck x

Milly33

The moogoo nipple balm is great.. Might help in between feeds

Aunty Anne

People saying "it shouldn't hurt" are the fortunate ones for whom it didn't hurt. In my experience b/f both babies, it hurt like hell for the first 6 weeks. It was agony, pain so excruciating I couldn't see, speak or breath while latching baby on. I feel for you OP, and know your pain, you are doing so well to have stuck with it until now.

I sought PHN and Private LC advice, perfect latch, no tongue tie etc there was no real answers or solutions offered. One midwife did say to me that pale / light skinned women can have very sensitive nipples and will suffer from grazing / raw nipples until the skin toughens up. Not sure if there is any truth in this but I am very light skinned and bruise easily. Babies were probably 3 months before I had a truly pain free feed after that it was easy breezy! Hopefully your turning point is just around the corner. You won't know yourself when you can throw the baby on the boob without breaking out in a cold sweat for fear of the pain.

Best of luck 🙂

shesty

It's so unusual, the different experiences - I didn't succeed in long term feeding (other issues, I managed til about 6 weeks each baby) but genuinely, BF was not painful for me past about 2 weeks.

It is very difficult when the support is very patchy and you get told different things by different professionals.You have done really OO, to stick with it regardless.

Zebra2016

I really recommend silver cups, I had fed two children and I wish someone had told me about them earlier on, really healing, amazing. It might not be the solution, but might be part of the solution. Good luck, I know it's not easy, seek help until you find someone who can help you.

Uptheduff

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. My GP diagnosed thrush of the breast and I've got cream for it. The searing breast pain is easing off thankfully. I still have raw nipples so I might get the silver cups, they seem to get glowing reviews.

@Aunty Anne, it's so reassuring to hear I'm not the only one finding it so painful. My mothers comment when I mentioned the pain was "we are fair skinned people" so there must be something to that. I bruise like a peach as well.

jlm29

Uptheduff wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. My GP diagnosed thrush of the breast and I've got cream for it. The searing breast pain is easing off thankfully. I still have raw nipples so I might get the silver cups, they seem to get glowing reviews.

@Aunty Anne, it's so reassuring to hear I'm not the only one finding it so painful. My mothers comment when I mentioned the pain was "we are fair skinned people" so there must be something to that. I bruise like a peach as well.

It’s great that you’ve gotten some relief. Fair play for persevering, it’s not easy. Maybe double check (I’m not sure with who), that your gp has given you the right treatment for the thrush. I’m almost sure my PHN told me I needed to take some oral meds for it (we thought I might have it, but I didnt, so I didn’t actually need the meds). Baby needs to be treated also. If it’s not treated properly in both of you it will keep being passed back and forth. My PHN is always very up to date on bf, it’s her area of interest,

Uptheduff

jlm29 wrote: »

It’s great that you’ve gotten some relief. Fair play for persevering, it’s not easy. Maybe double check (I’m not sure with who), that your gp has given you the right treatment for the thrush. I’m almost sure my PHN told me I needed to take some oral meds for it (we thought I might have it, but I didnt, so I didn’t actually need the meds). Baby needs to be treated also. If it’s not treated properly in both of you it will keep being passed back and forth. My PHN is always very up to date on bf, it’s her area of interest,

I've got a cream for myself and a gel for the baby's mouth, thankfully she doesn't seem to have it at the moment.

ShaShaBear

Uptheduff wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. My GP diagnosed thrush of the breast and I've got cream for it. The searing breast pain is easing off thankfully. I still have raw nipples so I might get the silver cups, they seem to get glowing reviews.

@Aunty Anne, it's so reassuring to hear I'm not the only one finding it so painful. My mothers comment when I mentioned the pain was "we are fair skinned people" so there must be something to that. I bruise like a peach as well.

Glad I read the whole thread before jumping in to answer, because I was literally going to ask you if there's a chance you have nipple thrush!
On my last little girl, I was breastfeeding and everything was going great - weight on from the get-go and no issues with latch, but all of a sudden the "normal" pain turned into searing pain from start to finish, the burn afterwards was so intense and could go on for hours! The PHN (a dithery old fool who had absolutely no business advising mothers on anything) looked in my daughter's mouth and said I must have a healthy milk supply with her white tongue. It clicked with me then that she might have oral thrush from my nipples (or vice versa) and I went straight to my GP. Unfortunately while healing, the pain was too much to bear so we switched to formula.

I've had two children and did the breastfeeding classes twice and never once was thrush talked about!

Uptheduff

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I've had two children and did the breastfeeding classes twice and never once was thrush talked about!

Me too, it was actually someone that PM'd me here that suggested thrush. Not one breastfeeding related person I spoke to had mentioned it. In fact when I said I'd been told I had thrush so many jumped to suggesting I must have been misdiagnosed because it's so rare. I'm not sure why everyone is so adamant that pain must always be due to latch issues. I could understand sore nipples being from a bad latch but when I'm saying my whole boob was burning for hours after a feed it's hardly because of a simple cracked nipple.

I actually felt a bit angry at the attitude of the breastfeeding support groups I looked to for advice. They seemed to be more about clapping themselves on the back than helping people who had a problem.

ShaShaBear

Uptheduff wrote: »

In fact when I said I'd been told I had thrush so many jumped to suggesting I must have been misdiagnosed because it's so rare.

I highly doubt it's rare at all. In fact, what I'd say is that it is more than likely the problem for a lot of mums who have this complaint and either soldier through it until it passes, or they give up and switch to formula because it isn't worth it. Thrush is so, so ridiculously common - especially in women - and it's so easy to treat. It's a disgrace that more health professionals don't suggest a bit of cream for mum and baby as the first port of call. After all, it's not going to do any harm!

shesty

Ah uptheduff!!God no wonder you were in pain.I had it on the second but I knew because she had it in her mouth first.Gosh, how did you keep going through that, no wonder you were in pain.Hope you get sorted now.I would go the opposite actually, I always worried about thrush with them because it is incredibly common for breastfeeding babies, particularly if mama or baby has been on antibiotics, which would be common enough too after a birth. I found the gels worked great, and the stuff for the baby's mouth can be rubbed on the nipple too, if you need it again.