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Did I give up too quick

  • 28-06-2020 5:51pm
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭

    I was dating a guy for around 6 weeks and broke it off. Just before the pandemic. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about him since. I felt that I should know what I wanted by 6 weeks and given that I didn't I was wasting both of our time dragging things out. I usually would be sure I either wanted a relationship or didn't by that point. He didn't ask but I was worried he would so I ended things.

    I know wonder if I was too quick. I don't like the idea of "casually" dating someone for months on end but, while he had his flaws, I enjoyed his company. Maybe if I had given it longer I would have fallen for him? I've been single for 6 years and haven't dated anyone for more than six weeks in all that time. I really want a serious relationship that could lead to a family so sometime I worry I'm 15 steps ahead in my mind and I'll end things before they've begun in case he doesn't want to move to the countryside in 5 years time.

    I also wonder whether it would be worth getting in touch and asking if he'd give it another shot. I'm not sure how I'd respond if roles were reversed. And what if he agrees and we go on another few dates and then I realised I was right to end things? Ugh. I had though of texting him during the lockdown but I worried it was just boredom/lack of social interaction... but I'm still thinking about him 3 months later...


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,660 ✭✭✭seenitall

    Hi OP,

    I'd say that's just the lockdown speaking. The way you describe the situation, you seem like someone who gives these things a lot of thought and doesn't break something up on a whim. But the nature of this frickin lockdown is bound to make you reflect and reconsider, which could indeed push you into messing with this guy's head. I'd say don't go there, leave him be, I'd bet there'll be a next fella on the scene sooner than you think!

    Talking from experience here: this lockdown thing has of late made me think all kind of crazy thoughts, involving all kinds of unlikely men, just as a result of the complete want of some normal human, social and sexual interaction. It doesn't mean they are wise ideas. They're just friskiness and isolation!!