A change at work has effectively ruined my life

LegacyUser

Hi,

I work in the public sector. I know there is a stereotype around some public sector workers but I work hard and have a lot of responsibility for my level. I would say I have more responsibility than anybody in the next level or grade up, and I'm not being biased or up my own ar*e. In a way I initially welcomed it because I felt that it would make me stand out and give me more material for interviews. Theres a person who sits near me and the bulk of her role is responding to a general email address for all issues under a certain heading. Shes a grade higher than me and I have that email responsibility too and it's less than 5 percent of my job. I just dont understand how situations like that are allowed to stand. As in, it's considered a massive responsibility for her but for me its such a minuscule part of my responsibilities. And I genuinely like her as a person so I dont want to talk poorly of her in general.

3 months ago, arguably the hardest working person on the floor finally got a transfer away from her role to a different department. I did not begrudge her this, she was the most honest and hardworking person I've seen in the organisation who was repeatedly taken advantage of. She did the work of more then one person, she skipped breaks just to make sure she did everything. She was always the last one out of the office.

I've retained about 80 percent of my previous workload and inherited about 90 percent of hers. The final straw came last week when a manager asked me to take on a task, but the way he phrased it made it seem innocuous. It is unbelievably time consuming and in addition to my other tasks, I am after falling way behind, when I already felt like I was drowning.

I am literally sick at the thought of work every day, I have a constant feeling of dread in my heart/stomach. I'm getting headaches and feel like even standing up for myself a small bit is like fighting a world war, as pathetic as that may sound. I was thinking earlier of tossing myself into the river on the way home, I know its mental to have that thought because of a bloody job!

Her job and mine had some overlap and despite me saying I wouldn't or couldn't take on some of the responsibility, it has eventually come my way. I would say that 90 percent of her role has now slowly been pushed upon me, when my managers swore this would not happen.

I dont want to get a reputation for being a complainer as I want to make a success of this job. It could lead to further opportunities down the line and I'm trying to make up for the stupidity of my late teens and early 20s when I squandered away my parents money on college courses that I didnt complete. This guilt is often overbearing too. I'm trying to make amends, my family have some very successful people in it so I feel like a waster and a burden. Which was probably fair once upon a time but I'm doing what I can to change that. Maybe some day I'll be able to give back some of what I wasted. It gets me down how far behind I am in life, but I'm trying to catch up. I dont want any handout or anything, I'm firmly of the belief that hardwork will be rewarded and unfortunately I've only started to work hard in the last 3 years. I'm taking on any course on offer so I can move up the ladder a little, and putting in the work in those too. It's an entry level job but I'm building up experience and have gotten invited to 2 interviews, which I was unsuccessful in. I put that down to length of service and courses so just have to keep going. I dont have any option except to keep going.

I'm frightened that if I talk to my bosses that they will turn it into an us v me. Us in this case being the management who loaded this work into me when it clearly wasnt reasonable to do so. I'm afraid itll get their backs up and they'll come down hard against me. I dont want to be overly hostile to them in bringing up the issues, however I feel like in this part of the public sector you have to define
yourself as not a pushover and stand up for yourself hard to not get taken advantage of. I am younger than a lot of the other staff, it's an aging workforce with many people "set in their ways". God, even the thought of speaking up is creating anxiety beyond what I'm already feeling.

Has anybody else been in this situation? More than anything I just want someone to talk to. Sorry for rambling.

Turtwig

If you considered suicide then you should seek help!! Nothing wrong with doing so because of work either. It can be just as distressing. It's not pathetic. Consider talking to your GP.

As hard as it is try not to compare your job to others. You may not even have the full picture of what another person does. What their circumstances are. How competent they are. Etc. The point is it rarely does you any good. Instead focus on yourself and what your goals and needs are to get the most out of your job and career. What can change FOR YOU to make your situation better.

If you are not willing to constructively air grievances you will either be a slave, a doormat or both. You will resent your work and colleagues more and more until work becomes the backwards misery of hell. Be open to possibility that management may not listen but you have to try. Again it's advisable here to try not compare yourself to others as much as possible. (Unless you're absolutely sure they are not dragging an even load or you are working well beyond your pay grade.) Keep in mind management may be less receptive to your complaints if they feel you are erroneously comparing yourself to others. Also keep in mind management may not have a full appreciation of the complexity of a task you are the doing and the time required to complete it. You may need to illustrate a concrete example to them.

Lastly be open to the possibility that you may have to leave. Start seeking other options; not to use as a leverage or a threat but just for yourself. Having that option can provide a lot of release. You'll be less inclined to feel in chains and less fearful of airing your grievances. It may take a while but it always worth it to build up extra options.

go to your manager

tell them you cannot handle the change in your workload and that you are struggling to cope

prepare your case in advance to set out what has changed, what you believe you can handle and what you could prioritise.

i advise you 100% to make zero mention of any other employee during this conversation. that is absolutely the wrong approach and the wrong focus for you in the circumstances and will not help

good luck

LegacyUser

I would never bring up colleagues to my manager, it isn't my place. Just personally it's hard not to compare, that's all.

zapper55

I've been through similar and got so anxious I couldnt see the wood from the trees, a bit like you now.

The best advice I could give you is absolutely dont mention the other employee. Talk to your manager. Say due to the change in staff you had x work and now you have y and z too and it cant all be completed. What work should you prioritise?

Practise the conversation with a friend first, you need to avoid the conversation getting emotional. Stick to the facts.

HildaOgdenx

100% agree with the pp. Type up a document, key responsibilities/ tasks/ whatever. Then have the priorities conversation with your manager.

If they are any way competent, they must be aware that it's not just as simple as adding more work, on top of your existing workload. Especially as it is as a result of a colleague leaving, so there's a full workload there to be sorted out.

Go in with your preparation done, which cuts out any implied criticism of their handling of this situation, but is basically getting them to do what they should have done in the first place, i.e share the workload around/ do a shake up in general to have a bit more of an even spread.

You need to mind your health, first and foremost. No job in the world is worth the thoughts you say you have been having.

You sound completely stressed, and I don't blame you for that. The problem is when we are stressed we can go into very much black and white, all or nothing, kind of thinking. This can be solved, and you don't have to solve it.

cannotlogin

There is no job in the world worth sacrificing your mental health. Absolutely none.

There is a problem with work load and division of labour in the department. A problem that wasn't of your making and isn't your problem to solve either. Do not lose sight of this.

While undiscussed with management the burden falls on you. Once you raise the issue, the burden falls on them.

I would sent them an email simply stating that you are seeking a meeting due to your concerns in relations to the additional workload since taking on additional tasks since X's departure. Explain that given you are a diligent and committed worker you want to bring it to their attention before timelines and deadlines are missed and are seeking to discuss this with them to ensure that they are aware of the matter and that you would like to work together in order to see ways that the issue can be best addressed.

Btw, try to let go of any guilt you refer too. It doesn't benefit you or anyone else. Again, your mental health needs to be prioritised above all else.

alias no.9

Take control, don't be afraid to take on new responsibilities but make that conditional on handing off some of your other responsibilities.

List out the stuff you want to do, make it the kind of stuff that shows you capable of performing at the next level up and start talking about a plan to progress to that level. Add to that list enough other work to fill your time if it's not already full. Then list out the rest of your current responsibilities that you need your manager to find another person to do and outline your plan to hand over that workload.

Xterminator

hi

in a scenario where you kept 80 percent of my previous workload and inherited about 90 percent of hers you were negligent not to speak up when a manager was loading more tasks on your routine. i dont say this lightly, but a good employee will speak up when something is wrong, and not just plod along down the road to disaster.

it is certainly not good for you, to have you at your wits end, but also not good for your employer or the workplace.

So you need to speak up &t is your responsibility to speak up. If you are unhappy with the response you receive from management then you will have to make decisions about your future but for now your first course of action should be clear.

Good luck, and dont expect the worst possible response. be prepared to show what you spend you day doing, and how long each task takes so that they cannot but understand where you are coming from.

the14thwarrior

Forget about the other workers and their workload, do not mention it.
as others have said, type out a list of daily, weekly, monthly duties.
putting a time frame in beside some of them help

if you want to move up, then you will need to learn how to effectively manage conflict, work performances, workload and responsibility.

the public sector is full of hard workers, lazy workers, people that deserve to get promoted, people that don't deserve to get promoted. much like any other organisation.

It has also the biggest set of policies and procedures you'll find; with standardised interviews, panels, outsider interviewers, set competencies, union negotiation, staff health and welfare, staff counselling, etc. you name, you have it.

You sound angry right now, and perhaps deservedly so.
but you have been given some advice, and my advice echos everyone elses.

i don't know what sort of manager you have, from the sounds of it, they might have taken their eye off the ball, or they may not care, and hope to god you don't complain and sure the work is being done anyhow.
you might have been the easy target to offload the work on.
to be sure, anyone with any length of time in the service would fight against being effectively given another person's job to do

be constructive and go in prepared, put it in writing first, you might want to outline briefly your concerns e.g.
I am concerned that my workload has increased given the additional duties by x y z. These duties were usually performed by another worker; these duties along with my own workload require additional time and resourecs. When we last spoke you indicated that i would take on a small portion of duties, however it would appear this is not the case.
I would like to discuss this further with you, etc. etc.

radiotrickster

zapper55 wrote: »

I've been through similar and got so anxious I couldnt see the wood from the trees, a bit like you now.

The best advice I could give you is absolutely dont mention the other employee. Talk to your manager. Say due to the change in staff you had x work and now you have y and z too and it cant all be completed. What work should you prioritise?

Practise the conversation with a friend first, you need to avoid the conversation getting emotional. Stick to the facts.

This is great advice. I was in that same situation last year. We agreed that every evening before I left, I would email my manager saying “today I prioritised X and Y, and so C, D and E were not complete.” That way he had an idea of the workload and how it was building up.

You need to speak up. I ended up on sick leave due to work-related stress for about a month because I was left drowning in work. It sounds like that’s what you need, especially to show how much you’re doing and make a change.

While I was struggling, everyone saw me panicking, crying in my office about the stress (my manager included), missing breaks, etc. Colleagues would say “wow, you’ve so much to do,” knowing I was in overdrive and working an extra five hours at least a week, but they’d never offer to help.

When they were eventually told to take half an hours work from me as a once-off to help me catch up, the begrudgery was out of this world. I wanted to cry because they made me feel terrible, even though I knew they had the time to help out.

I went off sick. The work was divided out. I came back and all anyone could say was “how did you do that alone?” People above my grade who tried to cover me called the workload “manic” and “impossible.” I came back feeling rested and a lot more mentally well, and I returned with a better workload too.

It does sound like you’re on the brink of breaking. You need to speak with your manager and ideally, also your GP about your situation. See what they say as your health comes first and work-related stress can cause real struggles with your mental and physical health.

MrsBean

I feel for you OP and a lot of what you said rings true for me. I also squandered my early 20s and took a couple of years to 'catch up' with my successful siblings. It used to bother me until I reassessed what successful meant to me. Now I look back on my early 20s and I'm glad I had those experiences. A lot of the time we have these internal pressures and expectations on ourselves that our families and friends don't actually have for us at all, they usually just want us to be happy and healthy.

I also work in the civil service and have worked my arse off for last few years in order to progress and up-skill; overtime, always working late, extra projects, post-grad. I also work in an office where people's motivations are mixed, there are mixed capacities and mixed attitudes towards work, some work hard, some take the mick. C'est la vie.

Two pieces of advice about your unfair workload - yes do speak up to your manager. Say you want to continue to perform well but having an unreasonable workload is not conducive to that. Remember it is not a failing on your part to acknowledge that something is beyond your capacity. Management training in the public sector is all about making sure that staff have clear expectations of their workload, but it actually works both ways. They need to know if you have too much on your plate. The best thing I learned is when to say 'no' to additional tasks.

I doubt they will 'come down heavy' on you. Your manager is supposed to be there to support you. Sometimes when a manager has a hard-working member of staff they get too comfortable in giving the additional tasks to them. Look in to what support services are there for you, talking to HR if problems do arise with your manager, and maybe there is an equivalent of the Civil Service Employee Assistance Service for your sector? It can be good to talk to someone in confidence and offload some of the burden of stress.

My other piece of advice is that you will have to let it go about what your colleagues do or don't do. It was something I had to learn quite quickly in the PS or else I would have driven myself mad and gone back to private sector. You have to acknowledge that if you are willingly taking on extra responsibilities etc in order to progress then that is on you and has nothing to do with them. Accept that not everyone else wants to work to the same level as you do, or maybe they can't take on extra responsibilities because of what's going on in their own lives. If their managers are unhappy with their work that is between them and the manager.

Best of luck with your situation. You sound like a decent hard working person and I hope things will work out for you.

angel eyes 2012

MrsBean wrote: »

I doubt they will 'come down heavy' on you. Your manager is supposed to be there to support you. Sometimes when a manager has a hard-working member of staff they get too comfortable in giving the additional tasks to them. Look in to what support services are there for you, talking to HR if problems do arise with your manager, and maybe there is an equivalent of the Civil Service Employee Assistance Service for your sector? It can be good to talk to someone in confidence and offload some of the burden of stress. You are welcome to send me a PM to vent anonymously as well.

My other piece of advice is that you will have to let it go about what your colleagues do or don't do. It was something I had to learn quite quickly in the PS or else I would have driven myself mad and gone back to private sector. You have to acknowledge that if you are willingly taking on extra responsibilities etc in order to progress then that is on you and has nothing to do with them. Accept that not everyone else wants to work to the same level as you do, or maybe they can't take on extra responsibilities because of what's going on in their own lives. If their managers are unhappy with their work that is between them and the manager.

Best of luck with your situation. You sound like a decent hard working person and I hope things will work out for you.

I was hoping someone would mention the Employee Assistance Officer. I would suggest the OP contacts the EA service as soon as possible before taking any action. It is obvious they need support and guidance and the Employee Assistance Officers are trained in providing advice in this area. The service is completely confidential and they have heard all kinds of issues so there is nothing to be concerned about.

MrsBean

angel eyes 2012 wrote: »

I was hoping someone would mention the Employee Assistance Officer. I would suggest the OP contacts the EA service as soon as possible before taking any action. It is obvious they need support and guidance and the Employee Assistance Officers are trained in providing advice in this area. The service is completely confidential and they have heard all kinds of issues so there is nothing to be concerned about.

They're great. They're working remotely at the moment and can give you a call at a time that suits you best for a chat. Have used them myself for my own issues and found it really useful to let off some steam and get my ducks in a row.

gmisk

Some great advice here imo.
I am surprised the workload issue hasn't been discussed in a PMDs or similar?
I am not sure I have anything really to add.
I hope everything works out I think talk to your manager the sooner the better.

Emme

OP you need to nip this in the bud. If you can't manage the workload they give you then let them know. They are being unreasonable. In public service type jobs those who work hardest are given the most to do but don't necessarily get any credit. Often because they are willing and give a task their very best they don't get promoted while less competent people move up the ladder. The problem is those who work hardest often make it look easy so others don't know how much they are doing. Your higher grade colleague could well be taking credit for a lot of what you're doing. Is she your line manager?

The public service has a bad reputation because of this. People who are less competent but good at playing the game moving up the ladder while the majority of the workload is put on people at lower entry level grades. In a lot of places there is a high turnover of people at lower grades (burnout, mental illness etc.) because of this. Workloads tend to be unfairly divided in the public service with hard workers getting lumbered with more and more but getting passed over for promotion. It's telling that your colleague who worked hard and was repeatedly taken advantage of "finally" got to move, they may have been holding onto her but there might have been a HR issue behind the scenes that got her moved.
Were the jobs you went for internal? If so it's possible your current department doesn't want to let you go and blocked you. That often happens in the PS.

Don't become a statistic. Somebody else mentioned EAP. Talk to them and see what your next step is. I would advise you to talk to your GP first if you're feeling suicidal. If you had to go sick for a week or a month your colleague on the higher grade might have to help out and this would alert management to what really has to be done.

lurker2000

Taking on too much and trying to be a perfectionist in work sent me over the edge. Nothing is worth more than your health. Heed the advice of those who posted and I hope you get the result you deserve.