Heart broken non stop

Adam 76

Need opinions on something. So me and my gf of 3 years had a fight and she left me a few weeks ago. She came back a few days later and told me I’m the love of her life and she wants to marry me in the future. I was over the moon because I was completely crushed when she left me. Anyway all has been fantastic the past few weeks until I saw something I wish I hadn’t. She left her Facebook open on our laptop and I looked at her messages, not from a lack of trust but just did I don’t know why I did. I had a quick scan through the list and saw a guy I never heard of. She had been chatting to him recently and although the messages were. A bit flirty but nothing major, I read back and 2 And a half years ago they were sexting. He sent a dick pic and she sent a photo of her breasts.Now this would have been 6 months into our relationship and I thought we were both so happy at the time. she told me she loved me why would she do this. I scanned more and saw loads of guys I never heard of but much further down her list so she hasn’t spoken to them since the very beginning of our relationship but their messages were so sexual. I read some of the messages between them and they were highly inappropriate. Why was she messaging these guys when we were a couple and why is she continuing to flirt with one of these guys now? I’m devastated

mouldybiscuits

You should be glad you found out, you just dodged a bullet. Let her go, time will make you look back and realise it's the best decision you've ever made.

leggo

I’m sorry OP but this relationship sounds like a mess tbh. You don’t make up from a big fight by just forgetting everything then going completely in the opposite direction. I’d be super suspicious if a partner did that, it’s just not natural behaviour.

Run OP. You’ve more than enough to go on that this girl is bad news and already has hurt you. If it was me I’d consider just completely ghosting them tbh to avoid any mind games or manipulation. Then once you’re away take a long hard look back at this relationship because I’d say there are a million lessons you can learn from it, and about yourself and why you put up with it, for the future.

Dog day

OP, your girlfriend has form & can’t be trusted.

Do you know where she was & whom she was with when you broke up for a few weeks? As Leggo says, her behaviour leaving after a fight then coming back declaring undying love is highly suspicious.

Confront her with her dishonesty & end this relationship. She’ll most likely try to turn the tables on you by judging you for looking at her messages but her transgressions are far greater. Run.

Imagine if you found out this when you had signed the dotted line and had a child or two with her? Think about that hell and now contrast it with your current situation.

No matter how much pain you’re going through now, you have so much more freedom now than you will have down the road. You should be ecstatically happy you found this out now. Take control of this, break up with her, learn the lessons and enjoy your freedom while you have it.

I remember it being discussed on boards, back in 2006, that digital technology would be the cause of the breakup of most relationships.

leggo

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I remember it being discussed on boards, back in 2006, that digital technology would be the cause of the breakup of most relationships.

It’s nothing to do with tech, tech is just revealing what was already there to begin with. If the only thing stopping your partner from riding around was a lack of technology...your partner was going to end up riding around eventually.

Porklife

leggo wrote: »

It’s nothing to do with tech, tech is just revealing what was already there to begin with. If the only thing stopping your partner from riding around was a lack of technology...your partner was going to end up riding around eventually.

Brilliant advice as always. Not even advice, just saying it how it is.

Tork

Deleted User wrote: »

I remember it being discussed on boards, back in 2006, that digital technology would be the cause of the breakup of most relationships.

They were right. Cheating didn't exist before 2006.

Adam, you had another thread here recently where you said you'd had 3 relationships and they'd all ended with you being left for someone else. Then you went on to describe your behaviour. "I’ve have always treated girls so well. I apologise to them in fights even when I’m not wrong just to make peace. I chase them and I put them first always. I always do what they want and never think of myself. I buy them lots of presents and cook for them. I make them my whole world and answer my phone in an instant."

You got a lot of good advice in the other thread and I hope you've taken something from it. It makes me wonder are you attracting a certain sort of woman with this sort of behaviour though? Having a human puppy dog/yes man at her disposal might be a novelty for your exes at the start but it eventually gets boring.

I think you could do with taking some time out from dating to work on yourself and learn to be the real you. A man with a bit of spark and personality and isn't grateful that a woman deigns to go out with him. In the meantime, I hope you keep away from your ex. I'm sorry she did what she did but at least you found out and can walk away without ties to her.