What to think

LegacyUser

So I met a guy on Tinder about 6 months ago, met up, got on great. Both said we weren't looking for anything serious. We went on meeting up and he would stay over maybe every few weeks until the lockdown came in. He texts every morning since we met and we carry on texting throughout the day, every day, and he said he missed seeing me over the last while. Something came up last week and I asked where exactly I stand, he says hes enjoying it, no headaches and its casual, to which I said I don't want to be used etc. I'm pretty sure I completely over reacted and apologised, we agreed to move on, once I was happy with the 'set up' being what it had been before. I can't help feeling thing are just a bit awkward since, I don't know if I'm best to acknowledge it or just move on? I'm fine with how it was going, but I had been badly hurt in the past which I dont want to go down that road so soon. Am I over thinking?

Idle Passerby

There's a few contradictions in your post. You agreed you wanted something casual yet you keep in touch all day every day. You effectively told him you expect more than a casual arrangement when you asked where he stands and told him you don't want to be used. So which is it?

The constant contact would suggest to me that it's more than casual on both sides. The fact you asked for clarification on his intentions suggest you feel it's still too casual and you want more from the situation.

He's probably confused about what exactly you want.

Airyfairy12

It sounds like youre not ok with it and you would like for things to progress to more, theres nothing wrong with that and I can see why you would think things were moving in that direction. Texting everyday, morning texts, saying he misses you. Its like a relationship without the commitment and strings attached.
If you want a relationship then go look for a relationship with someone who wants one too. If you think you might potentially get hurt in this current set up, then end it and move on, its obviously not what youre looking for anymore and he wont change his mind.

bitofabind

Dating is immeasurably easier and less painful when you stay consistent in your words and actions. Your description sounds like you're totally all over the place with him.

You both agreed it was casual, then began treating each other like each other's boyfriend/girlfriend with the daily texting, then you threw a wobbly, apologised and now are uncomfortable going back to "casual." Do you like him and want something more? It's fine and understandable if you do. But you need to figure that out pretty quickly and effectively communicate it to him. Because right now you're giving him mixed messages and he could end up unwittingly hurting you because he thought you were happy with the setup when you secretly had deeper feelings for him.

Figure out your own head and let him know what the score is for you.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. I am all over the place, there seems to be mixed signals in that he got offended when I suggested he might be seeing other people and has said it's not just a passing the time thing. I just need to straighten it out in my head...

Tork

If you go by what you both said said originally, you haven't been used at all. I think the lines got blurred because you kept in so much contact in between staying over and it started to look more like a regular relationship. It looks like you want something more than "nothing serious" now and that he probably doesn't. Hard and all as it will be to do this, you need to talk to him about where things stand now and decide where to go from here.

Batgurl

Be honest here OP, you want a committed relationship with this guy, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t want to know “where you stand”.

The thing is, he originally told you he wanted to keep it casual, and when you asked again he repeated that he wants to keep it casual.

When someone tells you what they want, repeatedly, you should listen. Or maybe you both have a different interpretation of what casual means so maybe clarify that.

You now seem like you want to backtrack to stay with him in the hopes that one day he will want more than just casual.

He probably will. But the thing is, it probably won’t be with you. The most likely outcome here is that he meets someone else he likes more and you’ll be phased out as that relationship ramps up.

It’s a hard pill to swallow but he’s just not that into you. You’d be better spending your time trying to meet someone who is.

Porklife

I can understand why it's confusing for you OP particularly given his "this is not just passing time" comment. That said, if someone is really truly into you, I'd expect more than a fleeting comment like that. In fact, when someone is really into you there is no wondering or need to ask where you stand - your location is loud and clear, x marks the spot and make no mistake!
Sadly OP, I agree with most posters above that you'll do for now but chances are he's just not that into you.