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Sad, empty and detached

  • 11-06-2020 12:59pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My life is totally lacking fulfillment. I feel lonely, sad, and empty. I always have done. I've tried to fill that void with relationships and other externalities but nothing worse. I tried therapy but it's expensive and after almost a year didn't help me feel any better.
    Can anyone recommend anything that might help me feel happier? My life feels empty and meaningless.


Comments

  • #2
    Flimsy_Boat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 154 ✭✭Flimsy_Boat


    saddetached wrote: »
    My life is totally lacking fulfillment. I feel lonely, sad, and empty. I always have done. I've tried to fill that void with relationships and other externalities but nothing worse. I tried therapy but it's expensive and after almost a year didn't help me feel any better.
    Can anyone recommend anything that might help me feel happier? My life feels empty and meaningless.

    Watch The School of Life on youtube.

    See if you can get assessed by a psychologist rather than a therapist. Many operate fees on Sliding scale. A diagnosis could point you toward specific self-help resources or therapy modalities. For example, if you have borderline personality disorder, you could look into dialectical behavioural therapy. If you had 'the blues' then maybe youtube videos by Dr Jordan Peterson or Jocko Willink could be sufficient. Or if it is bonafide major depression, certain SSRI medications could help. Point being, a psychologist is licensed to administer tests that could narrow down the source of your feelings of emptiness and unfulfillment.

    If you are using any substances, stop.

    If you are not physically fit, exercise.

    If you do not eat well or dress properly, then do those things.

    Nuture your friendships.

    Indulge in hobbies. If you have none or they don't excite you anymore, then that is called anedohnia and your issue is likely deeper than anyone on boards.ie can help you with in a tangible way.

    Finally, lower your expectations. Life just sucks sometimes. But then we get up and get going anyway because we make our own happiness.


  • #3
    8kczg9v0swrydm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 119 ✭✭8kczg9v0swrydm


    Hi saddetatched

    Did you try turning to God? He is your maker, so He must have the instruction manual. :)

    Just talk to Him from your heart, as you are. That is prayer at its most basic. Confession gives great healing.

    Jesus loves you brother.


  • #4
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,405 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    If you go to your GP you can request a referral for free counselling, it can take 6 months to a year to get the therapy but it's worth it. From personal experience, I had gone to several counsellors and therapists over a ten year period ranging from discount counsellors to paying 80 euro a week and found them all completely useless so much that I felt counselling was a waste of time, I then went to my GP and the free therapy I got through the HSE was brilliant. It's worth looking into.
    Have you hobbies or interests? Particularly ones that get you out of the house?
    Are you active? would you consider joining a gym, taking up swimming or even going for daily walks/runs? It can really make a huge difference. I used to roll my eyes whenever anyone would suggest exercising as a cure for depression - its not a cure but it makes such a huge difference to your overall mental health and wellbeing. I wish I had taken that advice 10 years ago. Also, improving your diet and eating well, even if its just a bit less processed food and a little more fruit and veg it's really important for mental health. If youre lacking vitamins, minerals and nutrients it can cause depression and insomnia, one of the side effects of having too little of certain vitamins and minerals is depression, anxiety, insomnia and load of other mental health issues. Id even recommend getting your bloods and thyroid checked.
    You dont give much information about why youre feeling so down but is it anything that you can do to fix? Can you set goals to work towards? Is it external things that you have no control over? If thats the case maybe learning acceptance and work on how to handle situations that come up in your life - this is were counselling is a great help but as thats not an option for you currently, why dont you do a bit of research your self? learn about CBT and mindfulness for a start.

    Lastly I would really recommend that you listen to these podcasts ive linked below. I dont know if youve heard of Blindboy boatclub but he has several or so podcasts dedicated to mental health which are really informative and helpful. This link is for Spotify but if you dont have spotify you can find them online on Acast.
    https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5P2VCQ205w2kp01t7ennYw?si=ixA6MsyTTpWDsur0BJl5Vg


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