If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on [email protected] for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact [email protected]

Worried about an elderly parent but have no friends of my own

  • 04-06-2020 9:00pm
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭

    Hi my mother has had samples sent away after passing blood for quite a while now.

    I look after her and we've always had an especially close relationship. The thing is though that I'm 42,single childless, never really had a relationship and basically am close to nobody.

    I suppose I'm afraid that if anything did happen to her, and it will some day, that I'll be on my own...

    Does having a family make it easier when dealing with a sick or potentially loosing a parent or is it just as hard anyway?

    I'm friendly with a lot of people and before Covid was pretty involved in sports locally. But I've no close friendship there. I just don't really get involved in the social side of things . I'm quiet and by nature and don't really like pubs, I'prefer eating, so in a way might be partially responsible for my own isolation...

    I suppose in a nutshell we are really close but I'm now worried about her health, of the news being bad and I've no close friends besides her.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,137 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx

    I'm sorry to hear this OP.
    You don't say if you have any siblings or close relatives close by.?
    I can only say that a few years ago when my mother had cancer and I was worried I didn't talk about it to my siblings or father even. She pulled through so we never had that discussion.
    Perhaps you could find a counsellor on line to talk to, it might be good to talk to someone about your worries.
    Sorry I can't help more .

  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 5,659 Mod ✭✭✭✭HildaOgdenx

    Try to take things one step at a time. So deep breaths, and wait and see what the results of tests are. Easier said than done I know, but there's always room for hope.

    Whether it's easier to cope with loss, when one has a family, or not, is a difficult question to answer. I suppose some people have more support than others, alright.

    The individual pain of loss still hurts though, and has to be ultimately borne alone, in my opinion. Nobody can take it from you, if that makes sense.

    It sounds like you have some outlets, you described yourself as friendly and involved with sports. Do your best to keep those things going, when circumstances allow.

    Hopefully the news will be better than you might think right now. Mind yourself.

  • Registered Users Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975

    Hi Op,

    I am so sorry to read that and understandably thinking the worst. Let me just tell you that I am exactly in the same boat.
    Thankfully my mum is healthy but she does remind me that she won't be around forever.
    Now, your mum will more than likely be fine please God but the fact that you are thinking like this makes you realise that perhaps something has to change.
    It has me. I wallowed in an unhealthy depression after my father passed last year.
    Since the lockdown its made me evaluate my life. It will happen but you don't want to be caught unprepared. Having a family isn't the answer as that's something you cannot magically make appear.
    I've no desire for a family of my own, crikey I have no interest in a relationship and haven't for a while but I'm working on my self and the rest will follow.
    Things always work out in the end.
    I suppose the only thing I can say is, be positive about your mum but start making some sort of a life for yourself as well.