How to stop getting attached (online dating)

LegacyUser

Hi all,

So I know there's more important things going on in the world right now but I just need some advice.

So I've been chatting online to a guy for a few week's now, obviously we can't meet up right now but I'm finding myself already getting attached and I know I shouldn't. But how do I stop it?

I know of course I'm not seeing the full representation of him, but I can't seem to put that into practice.

I've tried talking to other guys too but it's him I keep going back to.

Until we can meet I've no idea what's he's really like nor him me. So how should I proceed with this?

Any advice appreciated.

Thanks

Make It Real

Have been just messaging so far? Would it be an option to video chat? It might be a step towards getting a more rounded impression.

For me, I think you have the most important thing, which is awareness of this feeling and how it might hurt you. So fair, play on that.

It is quite an "unreal" time we are living in at the moment, with people's outlook and outlets being highly limited. I think its only natural that imaginations can run away a bit, we start fantasising and imagining how things "might be", perhaps earlier than we should.

One thing might be to try to find other things to do, interests, friends etc to involve yourself in until you can meet him. Just to diversify things, spread your attention and focus a bit.

Also, maybe you can ground yourself by thinking back on dates you've gone on before and how they ended up. The one where you walked into the bar, saw him in person for the first time and immediately thought: "no".

Hope this is of some help!

Dog day

{maybe you can ground yourself by thinking back on dates you've gone on before and how they ended up. The one where you walked into the bar, saw him in person for the first time and immediately thought: "no". }

Hi OP, even in normal times I’d advise caution in investing too many hopes & feelings in someone you haven’t met in person yet. Given the current situation it’s understandable to maybe be magnifying your feelings for this guy even more as everything is quite surreal at the moment.

I think ‘Make It Real’ is spot on above to recall those times the real time meeting hasn’t matched up to your expectations! This will definitely help keep things in perspective.

With online dating a good rule of thumb is to always proceed with caution, hope for the best but be realistic. I suspect there are many on dating apps (particularly now!) out of boredom more than a genuine wish to meet someone special.

In the meantime don’t put all your eggs in one basket with this guy, invest more time in chatting to others too but by all means move to video chats to get to know this guy better if you feel particularly drawn to him, just try to keep level headed about him until you can meet in person. Good luck!

ILoveYourVibes

Maybe its ok to get attached maybe he is nice? He likes you too right?