Apocalypse Bike

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Which bike in your current stable would be your apocalypse bike?

I'm choosing my former track bike and now super commuter fixie. They're light, fast, minimal things to wear out or go wrong (I think 1 spare chainring and sprocket would do me years!)- no deraulleurs, take brakes off them again and they're cable free.
And I love it, it's my favourite bike to ride. It's also steel, so tough and robust.

What's yours?

Peterx

Commuter also.
CX alu frame with flat bars. 3 x 9 spd and V brakes. So plenty to break but also a very versatile bike, carries panniers, takes biggish tyres, could spin away up into the hills with plenty of baked beans and spare brake blocks in the pannier bags whilst the Apocalypse was heading for the burbs under me.

Harrybelafonte

My Bullit - I already call it my Apocalypse Bike

Pinch Flat

My hacker. A €500 BTwin yoke I bought in decathlon in France 7 years ago. Been commuting on it ever since. Must have a few hundred thousand miles on it at this stage. Just replaced the chain and cassette and new gatrorskins before the corona thingy so she's good to go in getting out of dodge.

eeeee

Excellent apocalypse machines. I imagine starting some sort of posse with other pedallists post apocalypse, and all the different bikes have different roles in the group.

I think my club group would be disproportionately fixie heavy, but we have Harry and his Bullit as the HGV and essential apocalypse equipment carrying. And battering. Bullit ram!

cletus

Can we be doing wheelies in the posse?

lennymc

Surly Cross check, gears, single speed, whatever.

eeeee

cletus wrote: »

Can we be doing wheelies in the posse?

At all times

Cetyl Palmitate

lennymc wrote: »

Surly Cross check, gears, single speed, whatever.

Have one myself. Set up now with internal hub gears and drum brake. Bar frame and fork almost completely changed from when I got it a few years ago. Current set up could be the apocalypse bike but I have a feeling it will keep changing!

Pinch Flat

cletus wrote: »

Can we be doing wheelies in the posse?

No. I fitted mud guards.

Cee-Jay-Cee

My 2015 Cube LTD Race 29er. It’s a tough bike and never gives a moments bother, it has a 40/32/20 XT chainset and 11/36 10spd cassette so will literally go up a wall in the lowest gear.

Pigeon Reaper

Why don't they show bikes in zombie apocalypse films? Silent, fast, no fueling worries, no road blocks you can't get around, easy to conceal, mechanically reliable.

krissovo

Another Surley Cross Check here, mine is electrified though with a mid drive as my knees are shot:o

Harrybelafonte

Pigeon Reaper wrote: »

Why don't they show bikes in zombie apocalypse films? Silent, fast, no fueling worries, no road blocks you can't get around, easy to conceal, mechanically reliable.

Cos bikes are fast moving, zombies are slow moving. You want to feel a level of threat in a zombie movie, doesn't work if cyclists are breezing through and getting to safety in the first 10 minutes.

Fast-moving zombies in movies demand weaponry, not speed.

Harrybelafonte

No Bikes in the Apocalypse

4068ac1elhodqr

It would most likely require a hairdryer kit (49cc).

Thankfully it has already been built, 200mpg and usd $2500.
Still the closest thing to a mountain bike, that won't need a plug socket.



At only 60kg, could lob it over a wall if needed, and the reduced weight (if unloaded) would outpace the standard honda/yam/kawa 50.
Likely also tax exempt and insured for small coinage.

Motoped: https://newatlas.com/motoped-pro-cruzer-survival-black-ops-moped/34730/

Harrybelafonte

Holy crap, what size are you that you could lob 60kg over a wall?

4068ac1elhodqr

My first wee Honda 50 trials bike was 105kg (considered very light for any type motorbike).
Think the motoped's engine (30kg) can be removed with a few of bolts, can function on pedal power alone (increasing the defualt 200mpg).

Insurance (would've) been cheap for regular road use, but forgot this requires lights, indicators and so on.

Still, would be easier in such conditions to top-up 'juice wise', rather than locate and wait at working plug socket.

For speed freaks, they also do 150cc (hot swapable-ish), which for something than can strip down to 56kg, means it would shift like lightning.

krissovo

Pigeon Reaper wrote: »

Why don't they show bikes in zombie apocalypse films? Silent, fast, no fueling worries, no road blocks you can't get around, easy to conceal, mechanically reliable.

There is a cool book by Joesph Talluto “America The Dead” I think its called where the main character escapes the city on a bike with his kids in a trailer. Highly recommend the book if you like zombies.

Biker79

Pista Fixie, or a ' Dude ' Fatbike.

Nothing less will do.

As apocalypses go, this one is pretty disappointing. So much food on the shelves, remote jobs and Netflix etc. Fixie is just the job for this one. Can locate supermarkets with no queues quite effectively.

Maybe the next one will be a meteor strike and we'll have to roll up the sleeves properly. That will be a job for the Fatbike.

ednwireland

Pigeon Reaper wrote: »

Why don't they show bikes in zombie apocalypse films? Silent, fast, no fueling worries, no road blocks you can't get around, easy to conceal, mechanically reliable.

because once your overwhelmed your done for. which is why you need a hummer preferably us armyspec. to drive through the zombie hoards.

smacl

If we're talking bikes I own, probably my old Kellys Neos hack. Taken apart and put together that may times I know it will keep working or can be made working again. With 2" MTB tyres and 3x9 Deore gears it can get over most terrains and gradient. If it was a new purchase, probably a Thorn Nomad with wide tyres, hub dynamo and racks.

Planet X

...26 x 1.75" tyres.
SON Dynamo & Luxos USB light.

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No petrol or electricity in the apocalypse so the electric bike will kill your knees even more without its battery. No one wants to work in oil fields or power or filling stations in this apocalypse :P
Zombies are optional

magicbastarder

Planet X wrote: »

...26 x 1.75" tyres.
SON Dynamo & Luxos USB light.

no hesitation in picking a name for that bike.

Thargor

The Stand by Stephen King is the only post apocalyptic stuff Ive ever come across where a character realises a bicycle is the solution to all his problems and Ive read pretty much most of that genre at this stage. Even then he had to nearly kill himself trying every other form of transport first and using a bicycle is presented as the ultimate outside the box revolutionary idea only to be used in times of apocalypse.

cletus

I'm in the last stages of (re)building what would probably be my apocalypse bike. Hopefully the zombies don't come until my front derailleur arrives next week

CramCycle

If it wasn't knicked, my Vitus Vee, tough, durable. Thick tyres to last an age, single speed, comfy. Could knock out a decent speed in a rush.

Harrybelafonte

CramCycle wrote: »

If it wasn't knicked, my Vitus Vee, tough, durable. Thick tyres to last an age, single speed, comfy. Could knock out a decent speed in a rush.

I would have loved one of them tbh. I really should have bought one when I had the chance. Off to check for second hand ones now

lennymc

Cetyl Palmitate wrote: »

Have one myself. Set up now with internal hub gears and drum brake. Bar frame and fork almost completely changed from when I got it a few years ago. Current set up could be the apocalypse bike but I have a feeling it will keep changing!

That's the beauty of the crosscheck - i had mine as single speed cross bike, geared cross bike, touring bike, commuter. It's been a while since i change it, but i think next might be flat bar gravel bike.

lennymc

Harrybelafonte wrote: »

Cos bikes are fast moving, zombies are slow moving. You want to feel a level of threat in a zombie movie, doesn't work if cyclists are breezing through and getting to safety in the first 10 minutes.

Fast-moving zombies in movies demand weaponry, not speed.

i watched 28 days later there yesterday - slow zombies they aint

NamelessPhil

Audax bikes are the perfect apocalypse bikes. Dynamo lights and charging capabilities, pannier rack or bike packing kit.

CramCycle

Harrybelafonte wrote: »

I would have loved one of them tbh. I really should have bought one when I had the chance. Off to check for second hand ones now

Can't find them anywhere, saving upto buy one the next time they appear on CRC. Really great fun to ride as well, I commuted 17km each way on mine without issue. Time difference between that and my fancy race bike was about two minutes, and that could just be because I was enjoying life more on it.

De Bhál

my 2012 Focus mares CX bike. Love it. most comfortable bike i have

magicbastarder

so if you were desiging a bike for the apocalypse; rather than the one you have, what's the one you'd design?

suggestions: steel sounds obvious. much easier to repair.
maybe a 1x? a single speed is simpler and more robust, but if you want to be carrying your belongings, you might want the extra gearing.

as NP suggested, audax is almost certainly the discipline already closest to the demands of an apocalypse bike.

eeeee

Hmmm I'd be sticking to a steel fixie.
In my imagining of an apocalypse, there's no ability to get spare parts, and as I'm not yet middle aged, I might have to have the bike for a long time, so it'll need to function for at least another 50-60 years if I can survive that long without spare parts.
So i'd be grabbing the fixie and a few cogs and chainrings and chains to use as they wear out, cos I won't be able to get anymore.
I would have to drill my fixie (imagining I have the time and energy before total societal annihilation) and pop a rack on, then I'm good to go.
A dynamo is a great idea, I'd have a dynamo front wheel for light.
I think I'd commandeer a horse at some point, go home and get the retirees we have in action again for carrying stuff if needs be. Maybe a couple of the bullocks too that we don't eat.
I'm gonna stop before I head into full apocalypse planning!

CramCycle

A cow would be an excellent apocolypse pet, loyal, friendly, predictable. If you can get one who already has a calf so you can keep it in milk it would be fantastic. You could also use it as a distraction in a zombie attack, drain a little blood to feed yourself, and in a dire situation sleep inside of it ala Luke Skywalker in Hoth.

eeeee

CramCycle wrote: »

A cow would be an excellent apocolypse pet, loyal, friendly, predictable. If you can get one who already has a calf so you can keep it in milk it would be fantastic. You could also use it as a distraction in a zombie attack, drain a little blood to feed yourself, and in a dire situation sleep inside of it ala Luke Skywalker in Hoth.

Yep.
And you can also ride it, it can carry things, use it to keep you warm (cuddle up to it at night and during snowy days, share body heat) and if needs be kill it and eat it in the bitter end, but the lack of refrigeration would render most of it rotten by the time you get to eat it so it's best kept alive
Also you need a companion!

ednwireland

eeeee wrote: »

I'm gonna stop before I head into full apocalypse planning!

theres a forum for that :D:D:D

magicbastarder

eeeee wrote: »

Hmmm I'd be sticking to a steel fixie.

stainless steel would sound like a sensible option too.

CramCycle

I always wondered why I done a course in college that gave me the ability to manufacture insulin. If the apocalypse comes Ill be manufacturing insulin and bartering with regular diabetics in the vicinity.

Large bottle small glass

eeeee wrote: »

and if needs be kill it and eat it in the bitter end, but the lack of refrigeration would render most of it rotten by the time you get to eat it so it's best kept alive
Also you need a companion!

You are not ready for what's coming...

Salt and smoke will keep the meat. There will be no waste.

eeeee

Large bottle small glass wrote: »

You are not ready for what's coming...

Salt and smoke will keep the meat. There will be no waste.

yeah. I wouldn't be able to carry around that much meat though. Unless I find other post-apocalyptic humans to share with.

I do often wonder if we are currently living in a post apocalyptic situation and we don't know it, and we've fcuked it up already.