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Dating

  • 06-05-2020 5:58pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm going to rewrite this in bullet points as it was just one long paragraph of ramblings.

    - I'm in my late 20s.
    - Never had sex.
    - Was abused as a kid so really struggle with intimacy.
    - I've always identified as 'straight'.
    - Starting to think I might be bi or even leaning more towards gay.
    - Want to start dating a guy to see whats it like and explore that side of things but would want to keep it quiet.
    - Have absolutely no idea how to go about doing it.
    - Terrified I will die alone and a virgin.


Comments

  • #2
    2 fast
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 274 ✭✭2 fast


    Wed6May wrote: »
    I'm going to rewrite this in bullet points as it was just one long paragraph of ramblings.

    - I'm in my late 20s.
    - Never had sex.
    - Was abused as a kid so really struggle with intimacy.
    - I've always identified as 'straight'.
    - Starting to think I might be bi or even leaning more towards gay.
    - Want to start dating a guy to see whats it like and explore that side of things but would want to keep it quiet.
    - Have absolutely no idea how to go about doing it.
    - Terrified I will die alone and a virgin.

    Maybe look at some coaching and therapy on relationships and working through issues maybe something to look into.

    It's never too late and the right person won't care. Just figure out who you are first and then tread slowly into the dating pool. At the end of the day someone that respects you will understand and that's the person you want. Plenty of them out there. Good luck


  • #3
    Xterminator
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,792 ✭✭✭Xterminator


    Hi OP

    Perhaps going from no expereince in sex (and possibly no experience in relationships ? ) to shagging indiscriminately might not be a good course of action! Im not saying that is what you were going to do, rather that i think you should explore this slowly, and pick the right person rather than the 1st available person!

    Now looking at your post your struggles with intimacy could probably benefit for some proper formal counselling to allow you understand whats going on and address it. So i also advise you do that. Call that homework, where you work on yourself.

    now if you want to know how to go about meeting lgbt people - thats actually fairly easy. i dont recommend yous tart off using hookup apps etc, rather start going into lgbt groups / clubs /bars and strike up a few conversations, get to know people and explore slowly if that works for you. Pride parade has been cancelled this year, which is a pity because it really did open the door for people to get involved. https://dublinpride.ie/community-groups/

    boards.ie has a section here https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin//forumdisplay.php?f=255


    have a look around there are plenty of ideas.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The problem is I want to basically experiment in private with zero chance of it ever getting back to family etc.

    So it would either need to be a complete randomer or a very close person I can trust. But I'm worried if I do it I'll regret it but I think I know deep down it what I'm attracted to.


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