Good lawd I need a massage so bad right meow

bo0li5eumx12kp

Since the covid lockdown, all massage parlors have been offline and generally unavailable.

Massages are my lifeblood.

I'm going through massage withdrawal.

Space shrapnel hitting earth, super volcanoes, super viruses, nuclear holocaust;

Let me tell you, it's times like this you realize we really are just a pale blue dot that ultimately got evolutionarily lucky.

I could use a spa weekend break all right

Montage of Feck

Obligatory happy ending post :pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Get yourself a foam roller

Day Lewin

Ah yes, massage withdrawal. I feel you.

Oops, sorry! Sore point!

Oops, sorry again!

Day Lewin

Seriously, I too am craving a deep, strong heavy dig into muscles and skin. Long slow strokes. Nerves and bones, everything pulled into place and left tingling. Oh, wonderful!

And I know one bloke who does all this - when this is all over I will offer him a princely sum.

Feisar

Anyone else end up here from the link on the Wikipedia page for 1st World Problems?

ILoveYourVibes

Sitting in my massage chair right now ...ah ..yeaahh

Feisar

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Sitting in my massage chair right now ...ah ..yeaahh

The phrase is getting old however, username fits...

Flavour Diaper

Imagine if the erect penis of the homo sapient was naturally two times the size it is currently, I wager that by now a specialist massage discipline would have evolved whereby the masseuse lays his erect or half swollen member across the back of the client, and rolls it back and forth and kneads it into the thoracolumba fascia, spine and shoulders. I am almost 100% certain this would be the case.

Earthhorse

Yeah, I could totally go for a...

Flavour Diaper wrote: »

Imagine if the erect penis of the homo sapient was naturally two times the size it is currently, I wager that by now a specialist massage discipline would have evolved whereby the masseuse lays his erect or half swollen member across the back of the client, and rolls it back and forth and kneads it into the thoracolumba fascia, spine and shoulders. I am almost 100% certain this would be the case.

Wha?...wait...nevermind.

bo0li5eumx12kp

I was thinking about investing in a massage gun.

Aliexpress deliveries at the moment are taking so damn long the massage joints will prob be back open by the time it gets here.

I JUST WANT SOME HOTTIE TO SLICK OIL OVER MY SKIN AND HEAR HER BREATH HEAVY AS SHE WORKS THE MUSCLES OUT.

....

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!!??

bo0li5eumx12kp

Feisar wrote: »

Anyone else end up here from the link on the Wikipedia page for 1st World Problems?

In my experience 3rd world countries typically have awesome massage available on almost every street.

blinding

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Obligatory happy ending post :pac:

I was coming to that !:D

Day Lewin

Flavour Diaper wrote: »

Imagine if the erect penis of the homo sapient was naturally two times the size it is currently, I wager that by now a specialist massage discipline would have evolved whereby the masseuse lays his erect or half swollen member across the back of the client, and rolls it back and forth and kneads it into the thoracolumba fascia, spine and shoulders. I am almost 100% certain this would be the case.

Username score.

fryup

meanwhile here's The Stranglers