Quick question

snowflaked

Hi there.
A about 1.5 months ago I was messaging a guy from Tinder. We really hit it off. We went on one date and had a great date. Then, within a few days all the restrictions came into place. I am living abroad and there is a curfew in the evening and non essential travel during the day, same as home but not as strict. Since the date, he certainly has cooled from his messages. We were messaging all day for 2 weeks and then after the date it was sporadic every 2 3 days. First he had said we wouldn't be able to meet up, understandably, then he suggested twice- when will we see each other again, or do I want to go to his. I just said hopefully soon we would meet. The texting has now pretty much ended from his side and he responds to mine once I text but never continues the conversation. I see now on tinder he is looking for someone closer in his area to go for a walk.
I am wondering what do I do in this situation? I hate leaving things unfinished or open and like to leave things on a positive note. I am sad because I really liked him but it obviously isn't enough to overcome the social distancing. Is there anything I can say while still being dignified in this situation. He obviously thinks I'll always be here or else hes not interested as much as he should or else he is keeping his options open but I struggle with knowing what to say of he does text me in the future. I also cooled off on the texts and I message one or twice a week but honestly it has mostly been from my side which I know were warning signals. I just want to know what to do if he messages now in a few days or weeks.

Thanks.

punisher5112

Move on, plenty of fish.....

1 date and you are hung up....

Seriously at the moment you should be staying safe, worrying about family and friends.

Why would you b chasing him, I'm a guy and I've had to do exactly that...

amdublin

I'm sorry op, actions speak louder than words, he's just not that into you. And wants to date others.

It's not being left unfinished etc. Unfortunately it is actually finished, no way for it to go further.

The good news is there is plenty more fish in the sea.

Hey a suggestion if you're looking for something serious, try another app rather than tinder. Try bumble?

snowflaked

Thank you for your responses. I am wondering that in the current situation, given that we couldn't really meet up ( I live in a different part of the city), could this have influenced this all. Like he wanted to meet again? And so am j holding out hope that when all this is over he will want to meet again. He obviously knows I'm interested (to my detriment maybe)

I understand about the chase and what you said about moving on in other respects. Thanks.

snowflaked

amdublin wrote: »

Hey a suggestion if you're looking for something serious, try another app rather than tinder. Try bumble?

Tbh I'm not going to persue anything at the moment through any apps, but I will consider it in the future.

bitofabind

I heard something recently that sounded pretty accurate: "If he's interested, you'll know. If he's not, you'll be confused."

So I'd say, 1. He's just not into it, at least as much as you are and 2. don't take it personally. This is a bloody weird and stressful time. I'm finding it hard personally to continue conversations with various guys I'd been chatting to on apps before things escalated recently. And it's about me more than them - right now, I'm only interested it staying in touch with people I know well, family and friends, that's become my priority. I spend long enough texting and video calling people as it is. When there's no obvious end game - like a date - it's sort of taken the fun and the momentum out of online dating for me.

I'd also say - don't worry about what you should and should not say if he gets in touch down the road. It's not important. For now, he's not on the same page as you and given it was just one date, there's no onus on anyone to give any "closure" or any of that. I'd advise deleting his number if you find yourself obsessing over him and trying to distract yourself with more meaningful things.

Kylta

snowflaked wrote: »

Hi there.
A about 1.5 months ago I was messaging a guy from Tinder. We really hit it off. We went on one date and had a great date. Then, within a few days all the restrictions came into place. I am living abroad and there is a curfew in the evening and non essential travel during the day, same as home but not as strict. Since the date, he certainly has cooled from his messages. We were messaging all day for 2 weeks and then after the date it was sporadic every 2 3 days. First he had said we wouldn't be able to meet up, understandably, then he suggested twice- when will we see each other again, or do I want to go to his. I just said hopefully soon we would meet. The texting has now pretty much ended from his side and he responds to mine once I text but never continues the conversation. I see now on tinder he is looking for someone closer in his area to go for a walk.
I am wondering what do I do in this situation? I hate leaving things unfinished or open and like to leave things on a positive note. I am sad because I really liked him but it obviously isn't enough to overcome the social distancing. Is there anything I can say while still being dignified in this situation. He obviously thinks I'll always be here or else hes not interested as much as he should or else he is keeping his options open but I struggle with knowing what to say of he does text me in the future. I also cooled off on the texts and I message one or twice a week but honestly it has mostly been from my side which I know were warning signals. I just want to know what to do if he messages now in a few days or weeks.

Thanks.

If he txts don't reply, if he was really into you he would be txting you all the time. Just don't let it get you down or dent your confidence in otherwords. (did I do something wrong). I think you were lucky at least you only fell for him a little and not all the way.

Telly

He's changed his tinder to say he wants to go for walks with someone in his area? He's an idiot! He wants to meet strangers in this climate to go for walks. Plus he was asking you to go to his with everything that's going on. You're well shot of this tool.