Considering moving our family home to Ireland from Korea.

saram

Hi all.

I am looking for advice, recommendations, suggestions here.

We are a family of 4- Me (Irish), Wife (Korean) and 2 very young boys- 3 years old and 2 months old living in Seoul, Korea. I am teaching English here in a university as well as working part time elsewhere which is ensuring we are building savings (at least we were until the Coronavirus hit- returning home is nothing to do with this though) and doing well enough financially at least.

So we are on the path to live a relatively good life here. Plenty of disposable income and can get most thing we want here easily. The healthcare is 1st class here and daycare is great too for the kids. Seoul is a very convenient place to be in many ways but then there are some serious negatives.

Air quality is poor. It seems to be getting much worse in recent years which restricts going outside.
There are a lack of green spaces outside for the kids too which is difficult.
Everybody just lives in huge high rises which kind of suck the energy and soul out of you.

Then there is education. Public schools are free (meals included) but there is savage competition. Most students study a lot in the evenings at after school academies- Math, English, Science etc. What is interesting is that these places become the main social outlet for kids here. It is kind of sad really. Study, play computer games and go to academies. Sports are very regimented and expensive. Sports clubs are run like little businesses and again there is a lack of proper infrastucture to play as well.

We are not keen on raising our boys in this kind of environment.

Moving home to Ireland and starting from scratch there is looking like a good option. The main thing would be our kids could grow up naturally in a good education system overall that is not too taxing. Also- they could play lots of sports and just all in all have a more rounded childhood.

I have several concerns here though-
Is Ireland going to disappoint and we end up regretting moving there after all? Will the weather just get the better of us. Where to start with work and getting a decent income there. I am in my early 40's and because of being abroad for so long (maybe 15 years) it would be starting afresh with everything from finding a living place, setting up a car, finding suitable work or further upskilling, daycare/school for the kids etc. It's kind of daunting.

We would be returning with about 100-120,000 Euro which will help to get the ball rolling at least you would hope- although not near enough to buy a home right off the bat.

What do you think of this plan from an objective point of view?
Has anybody moved back home after being abroad for a very long time and gone about restarting a life there? How was it and did it meet expectations etc.

The current lease on our home here is 2 more years exactly and the plan is to return to Ireland then as our eldest boy will be ready for primary school that September.

maninasia

I'm also in Asia and in a fairly similar situation. You know what you want , you have your timeline worked out, and hopefully the covid19 crisis will have moved on by then. All your comments on Korea are spot on.
Make the move. I didn't make the move earlier and I'm probably going to regret it in some ways . Start of primary school is good timing you should put your kids name down with some schools you may want them to go to. There is NEVER an ideal time to move but your plan sounds good (because covid recovery is going to take a little while).

Your timeline is next year or year after...In the end of the day it's not going to make a massive difference most likely.
.Having an Asian wife and Mixed kids...Similar....A little daunting but Ireland has so many international people now and I didn't hear of any real racism issues from folks who moved over.

It's more the hassle of adapting back to life in Ireland such as finding places to rent , saving money , commuting isn't it. The higher pay may offset the higher tax and expense a bit but you have to be prepared to have a tighter budget there.
I'm prepared mentally for that already and focused on saving what I can before making any big move back.

As for your age you've still got time to have a career in Ireland I'd say. I'm older and still would make the move but of course it gets more difficult when you are older.

Regarding the wife, you will know best make sure she goes into it with her eyes open. No promises just open discussion pros and cons.

54and56

Hi Saram and Maninasia.

I've had a somewhat similar experience.

Moved to Thailand in 2002 bringing (Irish) wife and 1 year old son with me. Loved living in Bangkok, great lifestyle and social scene etc. Had the opportunity to stay permanently but ultimately decided I wanted a "normal" schooling for the kids (daughter born in Bangkok early 2005) and for them to be able to walk to the local school, play GAA with the local club, cycle around the locality, get into scrapes, keep dogs, climb trees etc etc rather than attend international schools in Bangkok and live in a bubble with very little outdoor activity (too hot, too much smog etc) and very little interaction with family or friends who they would have long term as so many expats bounced through for 2-3 years and then off somewhere else.

When my son was approaching time to go to national school (Sept 2005) we decided to return. It's been great for him as the 4-5 pals he made in that first year of national school are still his best mates. I was literally just looking at them two nights ago sitting around hanging out in our back garden as it was the first day of Covid restrictions being lifted and thinking what a good decision it was to come back. They are all 19/20 now and on different paths (some in University, some working etc) but they've played hurling/football together from age 5 to 16/17 and shared so many life experiences that they are a really tight group who look after and support each other. It's personally a great comfort to me to know that they can rely on each other etc.

My daughter was 6 months old when we returned so she's had a traditional Irish childhood and at 15 is doing the normal head wrecking stuff most/all girls here do but I wouldn't have it any other way

One thing which has completely changed for the better here over the past 15 years or so is multiculturalism. Back in the day an Asian or half Asian child would have been a bit of a novelty in school and societal ignorance meant they would often experience some form of teasing/bullying/racism but thankfully that has completely changed and very little attention is paid to kids/people who are "different". My son has ginger hair and I'd say he gets as much (or as little thankfully) ribbing/teasing as anyone and I don't think he's ever experienced anything serious in that regard.

What I'd say to both of you is that coming back with directly relevant and recent experience in the job/career you'd like to plug into here will be key to securing employment which you'll be professionally happy in and rewarded for such that you can start to build your family life here. Securing good solid employment will be the foundation for everything else to fall into place and will give you the initial security you'll need.

I don't know what your employment is Maninasia but Saram, other than language schools for overseas students I don't think there's much demand for teaching English here unless of course you are a qualified teacher and can teach the national curriculum but even then I think getting a full time teachers job here is quite hard. If you have other skills/qualifications and want to use those in a new job here my advice would be to switch into a job in that area ASAP so when you come home you are experienced in that role and can compete for jobs in that area straight away.

Covid will cause a massive recession here so there will be challenges getting employment but if you can overcome that hurdle there could be significant benefits in that you'll be able to rent/buy at much lower prices than pre Covid and with working from home being encouraged, depending on the job you have, you won't necessarily have to pay top price to live within commuting distance of Dublin/Cork/Galway. You can buy/rent much further afield where prices are lower and you get more for your money. If you only have to physically attend work one day a week a longer commute is a good trade off to be able to spend 4 days a week working from home.

I can't comment much on the challenges your Asian wives/partners will face here. It'll obviously be a huge cultural and personal wrench for them to leave their home and families behind but presumably they've visited here and have a good handle on what to expect already. Getting their English as proficient as possible before they arrive will really help them to assimilate into society and quickly build up a group of friends who are likely to be Mum's of other kids going to the same school etc. It'll be so important for them to make the effort to build that social network rather than stay home and keep to themselves. IMHO that would be a disaster and a ticking time bomb for the whole move/relationship.

The kids, particularly the younger kids, will adapt no problem but again it'll be important that they embrace the social and sporting scenes in order to build their own circle of friends.

Hope that gives you some sort of perspective.

BTW, once my kids are through University (5-7 years time) if I got another chance to move back to Asia I'd jump at it as would my wife. It's not that we don't love family life here but having had a taste of life in Asia we'd love to return once the kids have flown the nest :P

saram

Thank you to both of you for your words of advice etc..

I am putting in as much groundwork as I can to hit the ground running.
Some things are kind of out of control but most things are not I think.

Originally, I was thinking of going to try and get qualified to teach back home (primary) but I am having second thoughts on this as it would take too long basically and the job prospects + pay aren't the best after all that. I am thinking of making a big jump in career to some type of digital marketing. I can train and maybe even get some kinds of work experience from here hopefully. It is something that interests me although my background has not been in anything business related. I am in touch with a few people who have been doing very well (although not in Ireland) and just getting some insights.

The Coronavirus is going to play havoc with stuff though but there may be opportunity as well as more doom and gloom there.

It is all both terrifying and exciting to be honest!