Going from 3-4 kids

Lizardlegz

Hi, so I’m expecting number 4. Bit of a surprise but all good and getting exciting. So many people told me going from 2-3 was easy and the 3rd would just slot in so I expected this. Well... I wish I hadn’t those expectations. Number 3 (although we wouldn’t be without her) turned our worlds upside down for the first while. Jesus.... it was really difficult. Much more so then going from 1-2 (which wasn’t so bad). We only feel like we’re getting our lives back to normal 2.5 years later now and... boom! I know a lot also depends on ages. There is 1 year between the first 2 kids. 3.5 years between 2nd and third. And will be 3 years between 3rd and 4th.

I know everyone has different opinions and all babies are different. But would love to hear from parents who have 4 kids and how they found the transition from 3-4. And also perhaps from 2-3 and then 3-4. Thanks!

db

We went straight from 1 - 3 with only a short gap between them so that was tough. From 3 - 4 was easy after that and also there was a much bigger gap. To be honest the biggest difficulty we had was having to change car. It may not apply to you but if you do need to change the car get as big as you can - the Ford Galaxy has full size seats in all 3 rows unlike the smaller 7 seaters like the Toyota Verso.

hero25

Congratulations!
for us going from 2 to 3 was the big change.... you only have 2 hands, 2 knees .... trying to find somewhere for the 3rd was difficult. Also had to change the car! Simple things like hotel staycations: all are advertised as 2 AD & 2 CHN. The 3rd did make a big difference.
It has been a few years, but they were the big changes we found.
After that, going to a fourth was no problem! Literally almost no impact. Always felt we might as well have had 10 as 4 ....the poor 4th was left to their own devices and half-reared by their older siblings.
My other half never agreed with having 10 ;-)

corks finest

Lizardlegz wrote: »

Hi, so I’m expecting number 4. Bit of a surprise but all good and getting exciting. So many people told me going from 2-3 was easy and the 3rd would just slot in so I expected this. Well... I wish I hadn’t those expectations. Number 3 (although we wouldn’t be without her) turned our worlds upside down for the first while. Jesus.... it was really difficult. Much more so then going from 1-2 (which wasn’t so bad). We only feel like we’re getting our lives back to normal 2.5 years later now and... boom! I know a lot also depends on ages. There is 1 year between the first 2 kids. 3.5 years between 2nd and third. And will be 3 years between 3rd and 4th.

I know everyone has different opinions and all babies are different. But would love to hear from parents who have 4 kids and how they found the transition from 3-4. And also perhaps from 2-3 and then 3-4. Thanks!

Had 6 in a row, bare time between births, wasn't any difference between 3/ 4/ 5/ 6, just went on longer, happiest days of my life,hard but worth it at the time- started in' 1981, and my youngest is 17 all the others are grown / gone he makes my life worth it,kids are everything ( he's number 7)

Lizardlegz

db wrote: »

We went straight from 1 - 3 with only a short gap between them so that was tough. From 3 - 4 was easy after that and also there was a much bigger gap. To be honest the biggest difficulty we had was having to change car. It may not apply to you but if you do need to change the car get as big as you can - the Ford Galaxy has full size seats in all 3 rows unlike the smaller 7 seaters like the Toyota Verso.

Thanks dB! Gosh twins... I’d say anything after that would be easy! Yes we have a large 7 seater with 3 full seats in second row. We won’t have to change anything that way as are fully set up. It more of the mental, emotional, physical challenges I’m anxious about.

This maybe just because we had a few issues with our third initially. There was only a year between our 1st 2 and I found so long as we had a good routine and kept busy it was fine.. just busy. Number 3 want playing ball with any of that tho. Lol

Lizardlegz

hero25 wrote: »

Congratulations!
for us going from 2 to 3 was the big change.... you only have 2 hands, 2 knees .... trying to find somewhere for the 3rd was difficult. Also had to change the car! Simple things like hotel staycations: all are advertised as 2 AD & 2 CHN. The 3rd did make a big difference.
It has been a few years, but they were the big changes we found.
After that, going to a fourth was no problem! Literally almost no impact. Always felt we might as well have had 10 as 4 ....the poor 4th was left to their own devices and half-reared by their older siblings.
My other half never agreed with having 10 ;-)

Hahaha brilliant. Yes we have also found all those challenges aswell going from 2-3! Luckily it’s not a major impact just yet as she would be free into most things at the moment and still in a cot so doesn’t really fully count as a third just yet! Unless it’s a plane ticket!

I just found it really tough with all the pickups, drops off, different routines for everybody. Like you say, we only have 2 hands....

Lizardlegz

corks finest wrote: »

Had 6 in a row, bare time between births, wasn't any difference between 3/ 4/ 5/ 6, just went on longer, happiest days of my life,hard but worth it at the time- started in' 1981, and my youngest is 17 all the others are grown / gone he makes my life worth it,kids are everything ( he's number 7)

Thanks! Are you the mum or the dad? If the mum how did your body feel after all those kids? I bounced bach so easily after my first 2. Felt fine after say 4 weeks. Really to go! But it took a lot longer after my 3rd. I was only 3 years older but I really took me months to recover (totally normal birth). I felt older and tired and my body just felt exhausted for about 3 months. I’m older again now obviously so wondering will it be the same this time round....

RedXIV

db wrote: »

We went straight from 1 - 3 with only a short gap between them so that was tough. From 3 - 4 was easy after that and also there was a much bigger gap. To be honest the biggest difficulty we had was having to change car. It may not apply to you but if you do need to change the car get as big as you can - the Ford Galaxy has full size seats in all 3 rows unlike the smaller 7 seaters like the Toyota Verso.

For us the car was the big one as well. We already had a relatively small car so it was going to need an upgrade anyway. We ended up going with the Toyota Verso, but that's because the eldest will be 18 when the youngest is only 5 so the time for all 4 to be in the car together will be short enough.

We found getting a 7 seater MUCH cheaper if willing to import from the UK is my only practical tip. Other than that, the holiday thing was the other thing that is a bit more annoying. It's rare enough to find deals for 2 adults and 3 kids, so adding a 4th kid is even worse when looking for deals. My wife has done well there in that regard with mobile homes etc. We were going to try a bigger holiday in June this year but that seems to have gone down the toilet at this point

Only other thing I noticed was that I was far more patient with the last one Probably because i knew she was the last one

jlm29

You’re right, it really depends on the baby. My eldest boy was a dream, my second nearly broke me, and is still hard work, but more manageable at 4 years old. Going from 2-3 was grand after him, my third boy was no bother until about 6 months ago (he’ll be three in the summer), when someone sent him a memo that he was supposed to be in the terrible twos. He has turned into the most destructive little so-and-so, and I spend most of my time swinging between cleaning up after him and roaring at him to stop doing something. There’s a fourth one there somewhere, I had her sometime last summer, but I feed her and change her, and other than that I don’t notice her much!
If your others are gone past buggy age anyhow, this won’t matter, but one thing I do miss is being able to put two in the buggy and have my eldest walking, scooting or cycling to go for a walk. When there’s two on foot and two in the buggy it’s not as manageable, the 4y.o wouldn’t be able for a decent walk.

Lizardlegz

jlm29 wrote: »

You’re right, it really depends on the baby. My eldest boy was a dream, my second nearly broke me, and is still hard work, but more manageable at 4 years old. Going from 2-3 was grand after him, my third boy was no bother until about 6 months ago (he’ll be three in the summer), when someone sent him a memo that he was supposed to be in the terrible twos. He has turned into the most destructive little so-and-so, and I spend most of my time swinging between cleaning up after him and roaring at him to stop doing something. There’s a fourth one there somewhere, I had her sometime last summer, but I feed her and change her, and other than that I don’t notice her much!
If your others are gone past buggy age anyhow, this won’t matter, but one thing I do miss is being able to put two in the buggy and have my eldest walking, scooting or cycling to go for a walk. When there’s two on foot and two in the buggy it’s not as manageable, the 4y.o wouldn’t be able for a decent walk.

Haha hilarious! That’s really refreshing to hear about your number 4! Yes it really does depend on the baby doesn’t it. My first was hard work. But then my second was literally a dream baby. Never cried you wouldn’t even know she was there. Could take her anywhere! So maybe that’s what I was expecting with my third which didn’t happen!

It was fine with the first 2 as even tho they were never at a crèche or anything I could just strap them in the buggy and go for long walks etc. Was easy like that (although busy).

My number 3 will be 3 when number 4 comes along. And she’s a demon of a child. Was already going through the terrible 2s the day she was born and is not yet out of them at 2.5. So she’ll still be buggy able when this little one is born. She will just be starting Montessori for 3 hours in the morning tho so that will be a help.

jlm29

Lizardlegz wrote: »

Haha hilarious! That’s really refreshing to hear about your number 4! Yes it really does depend on the baby doesn’t it. My first was hard work. But then my second was literally a dream baby. Never cried you wouldn’t even know she was there. Could take her anywhere! So maybe that’s what I was expecting with my third which didn’t happen!

It was fine with the first 2 as even tho they were never at a crèche or anything I could just strap them in the buggy and go for long walks etc. Was easy like that (although busy).

My number 3 will be 3 when number 4 comes along. And she’s a demon of a child. Was already going through the terrible 2s the day she was born and is not yet out of them at 2.5. So she’ll still be buggy able when this little one is born. She will just be starting Montessori for 3 hours in the morning tho so that will be a help.

Huge help. At least you’ll have some 1:1 time with the baby!

corks finest

Lizardlegz wrote: »

Thanks! Are you the mum or the dad? If the mum how did your body feel after all those kids? I bounced bach so easily after my first 2. Felt fine after say 4 weeks. Really to go! But it took a lot longer after my 3rd. I was only 3 years older but I really took me months to recover (totally normal birth). I felt older and tired and my body just felt exhausted for about 3 months. I’m older again now obviously so wondering will it be the same this time round....

Dad,ex wife had no issues ,though skinny tough as Fu*k,had a cit death in 89,that finished us with babies ,not trying to scare anyone, had my youngest 17 years ago, fantastic boy no issues , never caused me hassle, lucky man he's with me 5 days every week since he was 2 and a bit,kept me stable

Moonbeam

I don't think 3-4 is any harder then 2-3 but definitely more expensive for holidays and outings.
I gave up work a while after #2,so it depends if you are home or not too.
When #4 was born #3 was 15 months,#2 was 3 and 1 was 5 years and 3 months so I have very little experience with having 3.
It depends on the kid,I found it easier with 4 babies then now though,life was so busy with them that the years passed fast.

Immy

I found going to 4 the hardest.

All my babies were dream babies so never had issues with the baby’s. My first 3 are in 3 years so they did everything together. No 4 is 3.5 years after no3 and I found it very hard doing the school run and activities with a baby and then even worse a toddler in toe.

I defo asked for more help on no4.

I had 4 sections do recovery was slow. No 4 is 3 in a few weeks and I still haven’t lost the extra weight which I did all the other times.