Pubes

Hammer89

My mam caused me a great deal of hurt and embarrassment when I was about 13. Myself and a few of the lads were in the sitting room and our mams were at the dinner table, knocking back wine.

Don't ask me how or why but suddenly the mams - who it's fair to say were three sheets to the f*cking wind - started talking about our pubes. The TV was fairly loud, so I guess they thought we couldn't hear them or something.

Anyway, we'd all side-eye each other and start giggling away like school children, which we were, but then the volume on the telly went very low for whatever reason and we all heard my mam whisper, 'I don't think he has any yet' in reference to me.

Well I was livid.

I lept off the bean bag and stormed upstairs to the bathroom, making sure I made a thud noise on every single step. I was very embarrassed, and angry, because I did actually have quite a few pubes to my name at that point, but now the lads would take the mickey out of me.

All sorts of things went through my mind, including running away from home, but in the end I decided something else. "I'll f*cking show her," I said to myself, and I meant it. Literally meant it. I was going to walk down the stairs calmly and pull my tracksuit bottoms down just enough so that everybody in the room could see my pubes. I'd turn them off their cheese and crackers but f*ck them.

I was in the bathroom for a good 20 minutes because I'd been crying and wanted to wait until my eyes weren't all shiny and bloodshot. I unlocked the bathroom door and walked down the stairs a lot calmer than I'd stormed up them 20 minutes earlier. I can't remember if my heart was beating fast, but for the sake of drama let's just pretend it was.

I reach the bottom step, turn the handle on the living room door to walk in and guess what? Every c*nt in there had gone, except my mam. I can't remember what I said or did, but I do know that I didn't pull my pants down and show her my budding pubes.

And that, my friends, is how I got the nickname No Pubes McGrath. I didn't I made that last bit up.

punisher5112

You ok hun

gifted

You doing remote sessions with your counsellor?....

Class MayDresser

Hammer89 wrote: »

My mam caused me a great deal of hurt and embarrassment when I was about 13. Myself and a few of the lads were in the sitting room and our mams were at the dinner table, knocking back wine.

Don't ask me how or why but suddenly the mams - who it's fair to say were three sheets to the f*cking wind - started talking about our pubes. The TV was fairly loud, so I guess they thought we couldn't hear them or something.

Anyway, we'd all side-eye each other and start giggling away like school children, which we were, but then the volume on the telly went very low for whatever reason and we all heard my mam whisper, 'I don't think he has any yet' in reference to me.

Well I was livid.

I lept off the bean bag and stormed upstairs to the bathroom, making sure I made a thud noise on every single step. I was very embarrassed, and angry, because I did actually have quite a few pubes to my name at that point, but now the lads would take the mickey out of me.

All sorts of things went through my mind, including running away from home, but in the end I decided something else. "I'll f*cking show her," I said to myself, and I meant it. Literally meant it. I was going to walk down the stairs calmly and pull my tracksuit bottoms down just enough so that everybody in the room could see my pubes. I'd turn them off their cheese and crackers but f*ck them.

I was in the bathroom for a good 20 minutes because I'd been crying and wanted to wait until my eyes weren't all shiny and bloodshot. I unlocked the bathroom door and walked down the stairs a lot calmer than I'd stormed up them 20 minutes earlier. I can't remember if my heart was beating fast, but for the sake of drama let's just pretend it was.

I reach the bottom step, turn the handle on the living room door to walk in and guess what? Every c*nt in there had gone, except my mam. I can't remember what I said or did, but I do know that I didn't pull my pants down and show her my budding pubes.

And that, my friends, is how I got the nickname No Pubes McGrath. I didn't I made that last bit up.

That's the best punctuated OP I've ever read.
10/10.

Leg End Reject

I don't believe you, please post a picture of your plumage.

Jonybgud

Hammer89 wrote: »

My mam caused me a great deal of hurt and embarrassment when I was about 13. Myself and a few of the lads were in the sitting room and our mams were at the dinner table, knocking back wine.

Don't ask me how or why but suddenly the mams - who it's fair to say were three sheets to the f*cking wind - started talking about our pubes. The TV was fairly loud, so I guess they thought we couldn't hear them or something.

Anyway, we'd all side-eye each other and start giggling away like school children, which we were, but then the volume on the telly went very low for whatever reason and we all heard my mam whisper, 'I don't think he has any yet' in reference to me.

Well I was livid.

I lept off the bean bag and stormed upstairs to the bathroom, making sure I made a thud noise on every single step. I was very embarrassed, and angry, because I did actually have quite a few pubes to my name at that point, but now the lads would take the mickey out of me.

All sorts of things went through my mind, including running away from home, but in the end I decided something else. "I'll f*cking show her," I said to myself, and I meant it. Literally meant it. I was going to walk down the stairs calmly and pull my tracksuit bottoms down just enough so that everybody in the room could see my pubes. I'd turn them off their cheese and crackers but f*ck them.

I was in the bathroom for a good 20 minutes because I'd been crying and wanted to wait until my eyes weren't all shiny and bloodshot. I unlocked the bathroom door and walked down the stairs a lot calmer than I'd stormed up them 20 minutes earlier. I can't remember if my heart was beating fast, but for the sake of drama let's just pretend it was.

I reach the bottom step, turn the handle on the living room door to walk in and guess what? Every c*nt in there had gone, except my mam. I can't remember what I said or did, but I do know that I didn't pull my pants down and show her my budding pubes.

And that, my friends, is how I got the nickname No Pubes McGrath. I didn't I made that last bit up.

Your Ma's always had a thing about pubes,

Church on Tuesday

Is this what it has all come to?

beejee

You thought you'd grown your first pube until you pissed through it.

An oldie but a goldie

893bet

Yeah the pubs are still closed

punisher5112

Jonybgud wrote: »

Your Ma's always had a thing about pubes,

Stuck in her teeth

Jonybgud

punisher5112 wrote: »

Stuck in her teeth

She wouldn't need to get close enough for that....;)

RobbingBandit

I still to this day don't know what a ****ing mam is other than the queen of engurlund. It's Ma or nuttin

trumptheman

This thread reminds me of terror taxi in Jackass 2 when they all shaved thier pubes and made it into a beard.

Rufeo

This is a disturbing thread.

Bobblehats

Redneck Reject71

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I don't believe you, please post a picture of your plumage.

I'd say he used his sisters dolls hair and glued it in the appropriate region. What is that saying, the carpet don't match the drapes or something?heh.

touts

Age 13: determined to have pubes.
Age 23: determined to shave off pubes.

Hammer89

touts wrote: »

Age 13: determined to have pubes.
Age 23: determined to shave off pubes.

I'm excited by what 33 brings.

NSAman

And now you shave them for heightened sexual arousal?

Odyssey 2005

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I don't believe you, please post a picture of your plumage.

Pubeage! :)

Odyssey 2005

I was expecting another OP

Gynoid

I was the last girl in my class still visibly wearing a vest under my school uniform shirt. Some things scar one forever, OP, yet somehow make us stronger

EmmetSpiceland

I sprouted a fair bit of underarm hair early enough so I was well positioned to dish out a good “slagging” too any of the weedier, less developed, lads both in my neighbourhood and in the dressing room.

This was all well and good until I started to get more hair on my upper body. When I say “upper body” I mean around my nipples. It was not a good look. Overly long, thick, black pubey hairs stringing out from all angles.

The weener lads got their revenge then, from afar mostly, of course. I was called “Hairy Nips”, “Nipsy Russell” (anyone remember him?), “Shaggy Tits”, “Hairy Rings”, “Monkey Magic” (that one was quite clever, if a little racist), “Tassel Boy” and “Pubey Nipples”, to name but a few.

Only lasted a couple of years and then the rest of chest caught up and filled it all in. The names didn’t stick and by that time it was more about “picking” on the lads who still wore their shorts in the showers after the game.

Saw an episode of that show ‘My Name is Earl’, years later, where he was “afflicted” with the hairy nipple thing. Made me feel a little better knowing someone else had the same problem, even though he is a fictional character and, granted, his was much longer, and bushier.

Hope you’re feeling better about your pube “situation” now, OP.

Hammer89

Gynoid wrote: »

I was the last girl in my class still visibly wearing a vest under my school uniform shirt. Some things scar one forever, OP, yet somehow make us stronger

I think everyone else in the room would've been scarred had I showed them my mons pubis.

Leilak

weirdo alert

Hammer89

What's weird about wanting to show your mam your pubes?

Podge201

I'm glad the op post has been quoted as I would have never guessed who they were replying to.

Floppybits

Pubes will be making a comeback because of "the virus" all this beauticians shutting down or else Veet sales will go through the roof.

ohnonotgmail

Floppybits wrote: »

Pubes will be making a comeback because of "the virus" all this beauticians shutting down or else Veet sales will go through the roof.

pray that the use of Veet doesn't lead to the same end as this poor unfortunate. https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5

Gretas Gonna Get Ya!

I could grow a full beard at age 15! (But only in summer, as I wasn't allowed to in school)

Even clean shaven, I looked a bit like one of those grizzly characters with dark stubble out of an old western movie. :P

I would shave before school, but by the end of the day I wasn't clean shaven anymore! That used to annoy me actually... but not anymore! Now it's cool, but not when you're 15 and your voice is still breaking!

Seamai

I remember being 13 and my father walking into the bathroom for a pee while I was having a bath, on the way out he spotted that I had sprouted pubic hair and what does he do? He shouts up to my mother in the kitchen "Come here, there's something you should see" half laughing (and probably pissed as he was an alcoholic), so the two of them were standing in the bathroom looking down at me. The embarrassment of it, still cringe thinking about it.

Odyssey 2005

Seamai wrote: »

I remember being 13 and my father walking into the bathroom for a pee while I was having a bath, on the way out he spotted that I had sprouted pubic hair and what does he do? He shouts up to my mother in the kitchen "Come here, there's something you should see" half laughing (and probably pissed as he was an alcoholic), so the two of them were standing in the bathroom looking down at me. The embarrassment of it, still cringe thinking about it.

Jesus...:(

Seamai

Odyssey 2005 wrote: »

Jesus...:(

I know, over 40 years ago and still cringing.

Outlaw Pete

Isn't that the opening scene of Taboo IV?

Hammer89

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Isn't that the opening scene of Taboo IV?

Other way around I think. The mams show their sons their bushes.

Bobblehats

Hammer89 wrote: »

Other way around I think. The mams show their sons their bushes.

bloody hell pare it down :eek:

ohnonotgmail

I have no idea what Taboo IV is and i am really grateful for that.

Bobblehats

I don’t know what a mother bondage is

Rufeo

Bobblehats wrote: »

I don’t know what a mother bondage is

I don't know what a tracker mortgage is.