Great on the surface but socially/romantically alone

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I am a 33 male living in Dublin. On the surface, I look to have everything that anyone would want at my age but really I am quite alone, socially and romantically.

For backstory, I have come through a lot the past 10 years or so with family breakup (parents), a sibling who was a constant worry, severe financial worries and the suicide of a loved one however despite that, thankfully everything is starting to look quite bright indeed. Everything is moving on positively. I have started a career and am starting to feel contented.

There is one problem though - I am quite alone, socially and romantically. I emigrated to Australia with a few college friends but they stayed on when I moved back.

My closest friends were based in Dublin but there was one guy who has always had a chip on his shoulder didn't invite me to his wedding (the rest of the lads told him he was out of line but didn't stick up for me any further) and another who was always trying to lord it over me by making sneaky put-down comments and being very patronising over the course of a few years. I made a decision to move away from them which was the right thing and I feel happier being away from them but it has left me a little socially isolated at 33.

With the above having been written, I would also love to meet a lady for potentially a relationship but one thing at a time I suppose.

I suppose what I am asking is: 1) how do I, as a 33 year old male try to get into a social circle or develop one myself?

And 2) is it still on night's out that would be the best way to meet a potential partner? I am average looking, but in decent shape/sporty, wide range of interests and well educated. Looking for a relationship mainly.

Thanks

Dog day

Hi there OP, firstly, well done on posting here, that’s a really positive first step as there are some really kind hearted people here who are sure to have some good advice.

You’re clearly very articulate & self aware not to mention brave with the courage of your convictions to extricate yourself from toxic friendships. Bravo on the fact you’re successful & content career wise too. These are all massive things of which you can be proud.

In terms of practical advice, at 33 you’re still so young with plenty of time to make new friends, infact it’s never too late!

What hobbies do you have? If you’re into sports join some local teams, volunteering is rewarding & presents opportunities to make new pals too, a night class in a subject you’re interested in could be an option, group guitar lessons (just a random suggestion), there are so many things to try! I believe Boards itself has a meet-up group, perhaps a Mod or another kind Boardsie can advise you on this?

When it comes to meeting someone romantically, you can absolutely try some online options but brace yourself for that world, it’s not for the faint hearted but like anything still has potential for positive experiences. People still of course meet in more traditional scenarios too but I’d advise you to concentrate on building your social platonic connections first, take your time & when it comes to friendships like many things in life quality is far more important than quantity. I genuinely believe in life that no matter how wide someone’s social circle seems if you can count on one hand the number of really good, reliable & kind friends you have you’re doing well.

Get out there, have fun & don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Hope some of these suggestions help.