When is the appropriate time to tell work you are pregnant?

LolaJJ

I appreciate that many people don't want to share their news until 12 weeks. This makes total sense to me...

However, obvioulsy within that time there are a few appointments? I just wonder if it would be seen as abnormal to tell my boss at 6 weeks as I have a scan booked for 7 weeks and a blood test at 9 - then there is the official hospital scan at 12 weeks too.

I guess I could take annual leave for them all but i don't particularly want to

MonsterCookie

LolaJJ wrote: »

I appreciate that many people don't want to share their news until 12 weeks. This makes total sense to me...

However, obvioulsy within that time there are a few appointments? I just wonder if it would be seen as abnormal to tell my boss at 6 weeks as I have a scan booked for 7 weeks and a blood test at 9 - then there is the official hospital scan at 12 weeks too.

I guess I could take annual leave for them all but i don't particularly want to

I think it’s perfectly sensible to confide in your boss at this early stage for exactly those reasons.

Best of luck at this exciting time!

TheBoyConor

You are not obliged to tell them anything. None of their business.

Sure wouldn't you have to take leave regardless anyway for the scans?

LolaJJ

TheBoyConor wrote: »

You are not obliged to tell them anything. None of their business.

Sure wouldn't you have to take leave regardless anyway for the scans?

Well, as far as I am aware, and I have never been pregnant before.

When you are pregnant, you don't need to take leave for appointments.... so if work know about it then it would be very helpful. Otherwise I am using annual leave unnecessarily. I just don't know if my boss will think I am very strange telling him (and him only) so soon

skallywag

In my experience the earlier you break the news to your employer the better, both for employee and employer.

I would see nothing wrong at all with saying it before the 12 week mark, if you yourself feel comfortable with that.

Congratulations by the way, and all the best.

Hannibal_Smith

Congratulations Lola. I remember telling my boss early (as in before 12 weeks) I think i said I was pregnant and I need time off for...and he stuck his fingers in his ears and said just go do what you have to :pac:

I think if you want to tell them early which would mean holding on to annual leave, thats no harm and fairly sensible.

HildaOgdenx

Congratulations!
Yes, absolutely, would tell the boss only, early on, and stress to them that you are not telling anyone else until a much later stage.

All the best.

TheBoyConor

is your boss the type to keep a secret or are they gossip mongers of the sort that says "don't tell anyone I told you now, but........."

zapper55

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I wasnt comfortable telling my boss or work until 14 weeks for a few reasons.

And I didnt want to give up annual leave for the appointments as I wanted to keep it for extending maternity leave. I either arranged the appointments for lunchtime or before work or I told him I had a medical appointment I had to take some time for.

I wasnt asked for proof of appointments but I know friends that were. As a letter from a maternity hospital would give the game away altogether they got certs from their GP. Dont forgot you are entitled to 6 free antenatal visits to your GP so you could use one of them to get the sick certs for the appointments. Or you could ring in sick for those days. Saves you the stress of watching the clock to go back to work when you already have the stress of a scan to see if the baby is ok.

LolaJJ

TheBoyConor wrote: »

is your boss the type to keep a secret or are they gossip mongers of the sort that says "don't tell anyone I told you now, but........."

No, I think he wouldn't tell anyone, but he's been telling me to have kids for years - so, I genuinely think he will be sad if things don't work out and very nervous for me. I'm worried he will think it's weird that I am telling him so early? I'm also worried I am majorly over-thinking this :rolleyes:

Hannibal_Smith

LolaJJ wrote: »

No, I think he wouldn't tell anyone, but he's been telling me to have kids for years - so, I genuinely think he will be sad if things don't work out and very nervous for me. I'm worried he will think it's weird that I am telling him so early? I'm also worried I am majorly over-thinking this :rolleyes:

If, on the off chance things dont work out, you may need to tell him anyway because you may need time off.

But think positive, if you feel comfortable telling him and it will make things easier for you tell him in the strictest confidence. Otherwise work around your appointments like some one did above and tell him when you feel more ready.

Cash_Q

You're definitely over thinking it, just tell your boss and tell him that you're confiding in him at this early stage for health and safety reasons, if a colleague had a contagious illness you need to know about it e.g. chicken pox. Tell him you'd prefer to tell people in your own time at a later stage in the pregnancy but as your boss you felt it important for him to know immediately. Absolutely nothing weird about it.

ILoveYourVibes

Congrats! How lovely ! I am so happy for you!

Is there anyone working with you who also was pregnant at one time? What did they do?

Ask some ladies who you know that went through the same thing.

I would wait until 12 weeks...or as long as possible...just in case something happens.

Use sick leave for the appointments with a med cert?

Also once you tell people then you won't have to do that anymore.

Congrats anyway what lovely news!

I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and baby and an easy labor!

Loveinapril

I told my boss around the 7th week on my second and third pregnancies. I miscarried my first pregnancy and hadn't told anyone about it. I didn't feel I could, and as a result I worked through my miscarriage and all the horrific symptoms. It was a particularly busy time in work and I had to go to a couple of events outside of my normal hours. It took months for me to realise how damaging this was to my mental health. My boss was so kind to me when I informed her of my following pregnancies and I felt really safe that she knew, as there is a slightly physical aspect to my job that shouldn't be done when pregnant. Tell your boss! Even if it is just for ease around appointments.

pwurple

Tell your boss, or your health and safety rep. The 12 weeks thing is mainly to stop people asking about it and some level of superstition. Better for your manager to know for loads of reasons, including the time off you mention. I always did that.

Marcusm

Congrats; do what suits you and the situation. I know if a situation, second pregnancy, who only disclosed it at 6 months. She’s not long (1year or so) back from maternity leave. I don’t think it’s caused any issues in the team but it is unusually late. What suits one will not suit another.

JustAThought

Marcusm wrote: »

Congrats; do what suits you and the situation. I know if a situation, second pregnancy, who only disclosed it at 6 months. She’s not long (1year or so) back from maternity leave. I don’t think it’s caused any issues in the team but it is unusually late. What suits one will not suit another.

congrats but if someone came to me at 6 weeks pregnant and told me, my eyebrows and cynicism levels would be through the roof. I would definately be holding off until at least 12.

GingerLily

Congratulations!! Your employer needs to know so you can attend maternity appointments, so tell your manager for that reason.
In your position I would probably hold off until 12 weeks to have a full discussion with them about maternity leave, and no harm in saying that early on if it comes up.

GingerLily

JustAThought wrote: »

congrats but if someone came to me at 6 weeks pregnant and told me, my eyebrows and cynicism levels would be through the roof. I would definately be holding off until at least 12.

Are you a people manger? What an odd and suspicious attitude to have. She needs to attend appointments, no need for your cynicism..

Cash_Q

JustAThought wrote:

congrats but if someone came to me at 6 weeks pregnant and told me, my eyebrows and cynicism levels would be through the roof. I would definately be holding off until at least 12.

Extremely strange response..why would you be cynical? A pregnancy is as genuine at 4weeks as it is at 12weeks. Sure, the risk of miscarriage is higher before 12weeks but surely it's important to be supported if there were such an unfortunate outcome.

I told my principal at 4weeks because I work with children and wanted to be made aware of contagious illnesses should they occur. We also have some students with violent/aggressive behaviour so I wanted to be protected. I also had two appointments before the 12week mark so it was important to me that I accessed the correct leave entitlement for these appointments.

By the way the post you replied to stated a 6month disclosure, did you mean to type 6weeks or 6 months?

Whatever, its no-one else's business as to when they choose to disclose a pregnancy. I outline my reasons above and earlier in the thread, but for some it's important to delay disclosure in case they are treated unfairly e.g. passed over for promotion. This shouldn't happen, but it does.