Dealing with nosy people

The Shocking Truth

Don't you hate it when you're asked a seemingly innocent question in conversation when you know why the person is really asking it? If someone you're newly acquainted with asked questions such as the following, then be alarmed:

• "how old are you?"
• "do you live with your parents?"
• "do you have a girlfriend?"
• "do you drink?"
• "did you hear back from that interview?"

You might think that you'd be likely to tell them to mind their own business, but nosy people are often tactful. They won't ask questions such as these all in a row. They'll often work their way up to it. Often it might be awkward to just refuse to answer, and you'll likely look over-sensitive. A good tactic I find, is to answer to question, but immediately before doing so, say (jokingly) "aren't you nosy now asking that", and then go straight into giving the answer to their question before they can get a word in. It's your way of saying "that can be a touchy subject for other people and you should know better".

What they'll often do is ask a question that they think doesn't sound nosy in order to get you to reveal more about yourself. For example a girl I once worked with asked if I did much with my day off. I said "just a few things around the house". She then asked "oh, just a few things on the laptop is it?". She wanted to know what I was doing. She knew it would be hard to just respond by saying "no".

Another time recently, it came up in conversation with someone that I dropped by the store on my day off. I was telling her that I just dropped by by chance as I was in the city anyway to do a few errands. She then asked "did you get them done?". That seems like a funny question to me. She was trying to get me to talk about what I'd to do.

Interestingly I happen to have met some people recently in a new place I work, who I've had great conversations with, and yet who I still know very little about. I respect this trait in people, and you'll find out about each other in due course.

uch

Have you ever considered the old 'Fúck Off' way of dealing with it

The Shocking Truth

uch wrote: »

Have you ever considered the old 'Fúck Off' way of dealing with it

As I already said:

You might think that you'd be likely to tell them to mind their own business, but nosy people are often tactful....

It's not always that simple depending on who they are, who else can hear and so on.

colm_mcm

Are you a rereg of that guy who can’t understand anything?

Nemesis

Put in good insulation.

punisher5112

I don't know what a tracker mortgage is....

punisher5112

I like ladies

uch

Now I think the 'Shocking Truth' is that you have good neighbours and you might need therapy

ygolometsipe

• "how old are you?" geting younger every day, started a new diet...
• "do you live with your parents?" I do indeed but we recently got gifted a Manson (wealthy relative in the USA) and so while I live "with them" there on the other side of the estate.
• "do you have a girlfriend?" I have 3 but keep it quite, two are models, one's a lawyer.
• "do you drink?" only whiskey and milk
• "did you hear back from that interview?" They wouldn't give me the Job I applied for, they said I was too brilliant, so they offered me the position of CEO with a 180K salary. Its unreal.

The average human wants the average human to be slightly worse off then them. If you doing "****ING AMAZING" every single time they talk to you.


they will stop talking to you..... lol


filling them with bull**** is fun too :pac::pac::D

Junkyard Tom

Have you considered cocooning yourself in duct tape?

The Shocking Truth

I over-heard a colleague (girl) gossiping about another girl (Indian) who a few others at work didn't get along with. She remarked "she (Indian) said the strangest thing the other day... I asked her 'why do you study on your days off?', and she said 'because it occupies my mind'".

Now I don't consider that strange. But it seemed kind of mean that she would say this about the Indian to the other girls. Think about it... at some point she obviously had that conversation with the Indian girl while acted all nice to her, and all the while the Indian probably had no idea why she was really so interested in listening to what she'd to say. So if somebody's willingly to listen to you about something they clearly have no interest in, then be careful!

Sorry about that

I'm eating my breakfast Kate

punisher5112

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

Have you considered cocooning yourself in duct tape?

Not the op but you may be onto something there....

My boot has duct tape, rope and some lime.... Oh nearly forgot a shovel too.

05eaftqbrs9jlh

The Shocking Truth wrote: »

Interestingly I happen to have met some people recently in a new place I work, who I've had great conversations with, and yet who I still know very little about. I respect this trait in people, and you'll find out about each other in due course.

Mick Flannery started a song in Dolan's warehouse around 2010 with a brief, quiet anecdote about a lad in Charlies early house he had a pleasant routine with. Either one would almost always be at the bar when the other arrived.
"How ye"
"Grand out, yerself"
"Sound, tis gorgeous weather"
"Lovely stuff, tis, good man"

One evening he arrived
"How's the form"
"Not great Mick to be honest. The aul one is leaving me and she says I can't ever see the small fella again unless I get my act together and quit the drinkin. I don't think I have a problem to be honest, she's gone spare mad on me and all her family are behind her. Shur I don't have anyone to rally with me like, all my brothers and sisters abroad and my two parents dead. I don't know what to do to be honest and I don't even know how I can go into work and act like nothing is happening, dja know? And the worst thing is I'd been really putting in the effort lately I thought, getting bits of shopping I knew we needed and tidying up around when I noticed it. I'm just sick with worry now that I'll never get to see the young lad anymore."

He said he just couldn't manage it, got up and left.

Seems harsh but it's what I feel like doing any time the boundaries of intimacy in personal details are breached. I always seem to end up giving the person counselling if anyone tells me their problems, irrespective of my own situation.

If you don't know someone very well just keep it light like. Sometimes even if you do know them well.

dd973

The Shocking Truth wrote: »

I over-heard a colleague (girl) gossiping about another girl (Indian) who a few others at work didn't get along with. She remarked "she (Indian) said the strangest thing the other day... I asked her 'why do you study on your days off?', and she said 'because it occupies my mind'".

Now I don't consider that strange. But it seemed kind of mean that she would say this about the Indian to the other girls. Think about it... at some point she obviously had that conversation with the Indian girl while acted all nice to her, and all the while the Indian probably had no idea why she was really so interested in listening to what she'd to say. So if somebody's willingly to listen to you about something they clearly have no interest in, then be careful!

That brings to mind the Hicks joke about the Waffle waitress asking him 'What you reading for?'

The Shocking Truth

dd973 wrote: »

That brings to mind the Hicks joke about the Waffle waitress asking him 'What you reading for?'

Must look that up

freshpopcorn

I've a relative who is always accusing people of being nosy and when people don't ask questions they don't care or take an interest.

freshpopcorn

People might be stuck for conversation also.
Something people like asking private people questions just to wind them up.

Church on Tuesday

The Shocking Truth wrote: »

Don't you hate it when you're asked a seemingly innocent question in conversation when you know why the person is really asking it? If someone you're newly acquainted with asked questions such as the following, then be alarmed:

• "how old are you?"
• "do you live with your parents?"
• "do you have a girlfriend?"
• "do you drink?"
• "did you hear back from that interview?"

You might think that you'd be likely to tell them to mind their own business, but nosy people are often tactful. They won't ask questions such as these all in a row. They'll often work their way up to it. Often it might be awkward to just refuse to answer, and you'll likely look over-sensitive. A good tactic I find, is to answer to question, but immediately before doing so, say (jokingly) "aren't you nosy now asking that", and then go straight into giving the answer to their question before they can get a word in. It's your way of saying "that can be a touchy subject for other people and you should know better".

What they'll often do is ask a question that they think doesn't sound nosy in order to get you to reveal more about yourself. For example a girl I once worked with asked if I did much with my day off. I said "just a few things around the house". She then asked "oh, just a few things on the laptop is it?". She wanted to know what I was doing. She knew it would be hard to just respond by saying "no".

Another time recently, it came up in conversation with someone that I dropped by the store on my day off. I was telling her that I just dropped by by chance as I was in the city anyway to do a few errands. She then asked "did you get them done?". That seems like a funny question to me. She was trying to get me to talk about what I'd to do.

Interestingly I happen to have met some people recently in a new place I work, who I've had great conversations with, and yet who I still know very little about. I respect this trait in people, and you'll find out about each other in due course.

If she's hot I'm more than happy to engage in conversation.

The paranoia and navel-gazing of some people always amaze me the vast majority of chit chat is just that it has no meaning other than a social interaction there are nosy people but they are few and far between and easy to bat off or else i just tell them what they want to know.

Although I do like this one: An acquaintance was working with someone who turned out to be my brother she asked him was he my brother, as we look alike his response was why do you want to know, followed by maybe I am, made me laugh as he is inclined to be a bit paranoid.

The Shocking Truth

The Shocking Truth wrote: »

Don't you hate it when you're asked a seemingly innocent question in conversation when you know why the person is really asking it? If someone you're newly acquainted with asked questions such as the following, then be alarmed:

• "how old are you?"
• "do you live with your parents?"
• "do you have a girlfriend?"
• "do you drink?"
• "did you hear back from that interview?"

.

That's hardly a Gardaí interrogation there OP is it? I had the same feeling, usually when starting a new job and it's natural to feel defensive or that the other person in in some superior position. I find that if you're uncomfortable you just bounce the same question right back, avoiding a straight answer unless you get one yourself first.

"how old are you?" Old enough to know better, what about yourself?

"do you live with your parents?" Why do you need to know who's in my house? Who do you live with?

"do you have a girlfriend?" I have lots of friends, don't you have any of your own are you looking to meet mine for some reason?

"do you drink?" Like a mad eejit, ffs don't tell the boss I'm absolutely hammered right now. Wanna join me in a belt of whiskey I have in my locker?

"did you hear back from that interview?" Yeah, the KGB said they don't need any new assassins this month. Stuck here for at least another month I suppose.

Experience tells me that people who ask intrusive questions for reasons other than just being friendly don't like to answer their own surveys. Make them be the ones who tell you to mind your own fukcing business and that will put a stop to it.

mikhail

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I've a relative who is always accusing people of being nosy and when people don't ask questions they don't care or take an interest.

Some people default to assuming everyone else's motives are sinister. I suspect most of those people are mentally ill, but maybe they're just assholes projecting their own insecurities.

chrissb8

You know what OP. Those questions all sound like run of the mill questions of getting to know someone. Any one of those could lead into a conversation.

"Do you drink"

"Yeah I do, about once or twice a month"

"Ah grand! We'll have to have a night out or drinks after work, I'll see if there's any interest in getting a night going"

I'm more weirded out by paranoid people who put stock in such inane questions being an intrustion on someone's life. It's those people that need to get a grip.

They're the kind of people who think they're important enough to be talked about, here's the news though, no one really cares.

The Shocking Truth

chrissb8 wrote: »

here's the news though, no one really cares.

I've over heard enough gossip to know that you're wrong.

The Shocking Truth

mikhail wrote: »

Some people default to assuming everyone else's motives are sinister. I suspect most of those people are mentally ill, but maybe they're just assholes projecting their own insecurities.

I remember one day a fella handed in a CV at work. The nosy one I mentioned earlier happened to be at the desk to take it. When he left, she had a good nose through it even though she had no authority what so ever on whether he'd get hired.

uch

The Shocking Truth wrote: »

I remember one day a fella handed in a CV at work. The nosy one I mentioned earlier happened to be at the desk to take it. When he left, she had a good nose through it even though she had no authority what so ever on whether he'd get hired.

And the fact that you know this points me to believe that you also might be inquisitive (Nosy)

ILoveYourVibes

i lie

i am also very nosy

The Shocking Truth

uch wrote: »

And the fact that you know this points me to believe that you also might be inquisitive (Nosy)

That is true. I am nosy, but in the case of being handed a CV from a complete stranger, my beliefs would stop me from looking at it.

d51984

Big sneeze and tell them your just back from Italy OP, wait till you see them scarper!

The One Doctor

The Shocking Truth wrote: »

Don't you hate it when you're asked a seemingly innocent question in conversation when you know why the person is really asking it? If someone you're newly acquainted with asked questions such as the following, then be alarmed:

• "how old are you?"
• "do you live with your parents?"
• "do you have a girlfriend?"
• "do you drink?"
• "did you hear back from that interview?"

You might think that you'd be likely to tell them to mind their own business, but nosy people are often tactful. They won't ask questions such as these all in a row. They'll often work their way up to it. Often it might be awkward to just refuse to answer, and you'll likely look over-sensitive. A good tactic I find, is to answer to question, but immediately before doing so, say (jokingly) "aren't you nosy now asking that", and then go straight into giving the answer to their question before they can get a word in. It's your way of saying "that can be a touchy subject for other people and you should know better".

What they'll often do is ask a question that they think doesn't sound nosy in order to get you to reveal more about yourself. For example a girl I once worked with asked if I did much with my day off. I said "just a few things around the house". She then asked "oh, just a few things on the laptop is it?". She wanted to know what I was doing. She knew it would be hard to just respond by saying "no".

Another time recently, it came up in conversation with someone that I dropped by the store on my day off. I was telling her that I just dropped by by chance as I was in the city anyway to do a few errands. She then asked "did you get them done?". That seems like a funny question to me. She was trying to get me to talk about what I'd to do.

Interestingly I happen to have met some people recently in a new place I work, who I've had great conversations with, and yet who I still know very little about. I respect this trait in people, and you'll find out about each other in due course.

Jesus H. Have you accidentally turned off your mental filter?

STFU, ok?

Ubbquittious

Gently nose back, give them a similar personal question maybe with a slightly different tint or a different angle and their questions will soon dry up

Its probably human nature to be nosy about people to a certain extent humans like to put things into categories.

If I heard of someone gossiping about me I am always tempted to laugh because my life is so ordinary.

The Tetrarch

The Shocking Truth wrote: »

• "how old are you?"
• "do you live with your parents?"
• "do you have a girlfriend?"
• "do you drink?"
• "did you hear back from that interview?"

1. "how old are you?" 17
2. "do you live with your parents?" I live with my girlfriends parents. She lives at my place.
3. "do you have a girlfriend?" no, are you mad? I identify as a girl
4. "do you drink?" I had a cup of tea earlier
5. "did you hear back from that interview?" I never went to an interview. I love my job, and the people here. I will never leave you, ever.

BENDYBINN

How much did it cost you? A fair bit...

aziz

A good story/urban myth I heard is the lad sitting in the smoking area of a pub having a cigarette when a person across from him says

"Don't you know cigarettes are very bad for you "

"Well my grandfather lived to be nearly 100"

" was he a smoker "

"No, he knew how to mind his own business "