I'm sick and tired of college, work and living with my parents..

MrMiata

It's not as serious as other issues post here but it's enough to get to me.

I'm in college, I don't care for it.. but I don't find it too difficult, so I'm sticking with it. I've dropped out before and changed enough to know the grass isn't greener and this is as good as I can hope for.

I also work part time in a shop.
I get sporadic hours, often crappy closing shifts.. I'm not even on next weekend and when I asked they said 'oh no, don't worry it's not for any reason in particular!' - thanks, didn't help.
I've no guarantee of being kept on either, my 6 month review is early in April.
They let a girl go the last day who was a better worker than me, and they had me sign a contract (after being there for 4 months.. I need to have the contract signed to be let go).

I spend €60 a week on petrol.
I drive close to 600km (roughly an hour to college, 45 to work).
I put €50 in the credit union, which is essentially going towards changing my car or fixing this one, again.

I'm sick of it.

I spent a few days with my brother for RAG week, and I realised how I'm really missing out.
I don't get that experience living at home, and honestly the clean house and fresh dinners don't make up for the fact that I have no friends and haven't had sex in close to 4 years.

I don't get to see my old friends from school, some are working, most are in final year and we've just all grown apart.
My course is small, it's full of small groups who are only friends with their friends from home.. There's days when I only talk to my parents.
And they wonder why I'm always in such a bad mood.

I can't realistically afford to move into accommodation, it's €100 a week (cheapest), but I go from earning €200 one week to nothing the next, I'd still spend €30 on petrol, so even if I was earning €200 a week, I'd have €70 from Monday to Sunday.. I couldn't afford to go out.. which would be 90% of the reason for moving into accommodation!

Is it even worth getting accommodation? I'm finished college around mid May..

I still owe my parents 2k for college from this semester.
They don't want it but I'm not having them pay for college for me again.

So I'm either driving, working, in college or arguing with my parents because they don't understand why i don't want to clean out my bedroom on my day off.

I'm sick of it and I don't see a way out.

strandroad

Just a small thing but could you find work in your college town instead? Probably more options, and so more reliable. No extra driving on week days and only a little more on weekends.

MrMiata

strandroad wrote: »

Just a small thing but could you find work in your college town instead? Probably more options, and so more reliable. No extra driving on week days and only a little more on weekends.

Work is in a town I pass to to get to college, it's 15 minutes on the motorway from college, and 45 from my house.

Purple Mountain

MrMiata wrote: »

Work is in a town I pass to to get to college, it's 15 minutes on the motorway from college, and 45 from my house.

Then a job nearer your house if possible?

jimmycrackcorm

Op, your post truly is an example of first world problems. No one owes you an easy life. You're fortunate that your parents are able to make sure you are looked after and you can go to college.

What do you actually want?

I Am The Law

Study some politics, and see how you have been funneled into the position you are in, it's the disgrace of our time,

I have nothing but sympathy for you, but political desion making for 50 years is the cause of your plight.

05eaftqbrs9jlh

Sounds really exhausting, OP. I don't really know what to advise you, you're doing everything the right way and it's not fair that you're missing out on college life and that work is unpredictable. I dont know where in the country you are or what you're studying so can't really offer specific advice regarding your course or jobs if I have it.

<mod snip> Renting or trying to rent is no joke.

milli milli

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

What do you actually want?

I think he just wants the college experience- going out, living away from family home, meeting girls, etc.

OP, when I (and most people) were students, I was fairly broke but I made do with whatever money I had. €70 a week after rent, isn’t so bad. If you’re in a house share, electricity/heat is shared, so it’s usually not much.
You can batch cook your meals, go veggie for a few meals to save money. You might be able to bring a couple of things a week from your parents home. Rice, pasta & beans are cheap and good bases for a lot of meals.
If you go out, you can drink in the house beforehand. You don’t need to be buying rounds, buying expensive drinks. Student pubs usually have cheap drink deals too.
For the weeks that you don’t have a lot of money, you can just drink at home or not go out.

Living as a student and making whatever paltry money you have stretch is a great life skill and being broke makes you appreciate the times when you’re not.

Andrew00

Go out make a few friends and start riding

pwurple

You don't give many details here. You finish college in may, that's only a few more weeks. What is the course in, does it lead to a decent job?

Why do you want to be permanently employed in the small shop, is that a student job?


Employment is the key to your freedom here. What is your plan?

endacl

I Am The Law wrote: »

I have nothing but sympathy for you, but political desion making for 50 years is the cause of your plight.

That there’s a college just a bit beyond his job that he can avail of to gain a qualification to improve his situation?

That situation being room and board provided, and enough income to cover his costs.

MrMiata

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Op, your post truly is an example of first world problems. No one owes you an easy life. You're fortunate that your parents are able to make sure you are looked after and you can go to college.

What do you actually want?

It absolutely is, I'm well aware of that.

But if I break a leg and you turn around and say; 'hey some people have lost a leg you know!', it doesn't really change my (sh*tty) situation.

This isn't a post looking for anything other than advice on how to improve my situation.
It does double as something somewhat therapeutic but that doesn't solve anything.

MrMiata

pwurple wrote: »

You don't give many details here. You finish college in may, that's only a few more weeks. What is the course in, does it lead to a decent job?

Why do you want to be permanently employed in the small shop, is that a student job?


Employment is the key to your freedom here. What is your plan?

Business, I have work placement this time next year, which should (hopefully) lead to full time employment.

I finish 2nd year in May, it's a 4 year course.

Next year won't make sense for living in as most places won't take you for only 6, it makes things very messy (and expensive, with deposits and what not lost).

Then I'm into final year, a year of hard work so the chances are I won't be getting the whole college experience then either.

I have zero intention of working full time in this shop - absolutely not.. I just want to work my 3 day weekend consistently.

I Am The Law

endacl wrote: »

That there’s a college just a bit beyond his job that he can avail of to gain a qualification to improve his situation?

That situation being room and board provided, and enough income to cover his costs.

What the **** would you know?

endacl

I Am The Law wrote: »

What the **** would you know?

I know that 50 years ago there were fcukall colleges here, fees would have to be paid, and if you wanted any sort of job you were probabably on a boat to England.

joeguevara

Hate when people say ‘first world problems’ as a way of making someone’s issues less important.

Are you going away for the Summer working and travelling? Loved doing that and always thought people who stayed at home during the summer were missing out?

Can you do a year away with your course?

Can you defer a year, do a tefl course and travel the world teaching English.

Take life by the scruff of the neck. If you’re not having the college experience you want try and do something about it. There are plenty of jobs you can do in your university town like barwork etc that means more independence.

cloudatlas

But things will change college is ending, you might not lose your job but sounds like you’ll be looking for something else anyway. Life won’t always be like this.

Also be kind to your parents, it sounds like they’ve been good to you, set your alarm for 30 minutes and clean your room.

beauf

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Op, your post truly is an example of first world problems. ...

Since this is the first world, where else better to ask for advice...

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

What do you actually want?

Sounds like the grind is making him lose sight of the bigger picture.

beauf

Find a better job.

Find cheap fun stuff to do. Sounds like you need to schedule some down time to recharge the batteries and maintain focus.

bunderoon

Struggles vary and affect us to different degrees


BUT, please heed this. College is vital for your future. Be it a trade or some sort of academia.
Slug it out and reap the awards. Rag week or any of the slobber may be great craic, but means absolutely f**kall for your future.
You are lucky that you have the get up and go and not some 3rd level waster. Keep the chin up and use your time wisely. You wont regret it. The future is grim with AI and machines slowly taking our juuurbs. Aim as high as you can.

woodchuck

Mod note:

@TinyChancer although your offer of a PM is well meaning, it is strictly forbidden for the reasons outlined in the charter.

Oranage2

This semester is probably a write off since you're finished this semester soon.

Next semester could you join some clubs and societies or join an online meet up group? After class you could hang out in these groups and make some friends, perhaps go party with them etc.

Although you said your classmates are all close-knit could you try and make friends with them, some people have could have similar interests as your self.

Over the summer you could look for a more stable part time job or try work full time and save something so you could afford to rent near your college, though this might not be the holy grail of answers if you can't fix Your social situation.

IvoryTower

How many years of college left?

Graces7

op; It is near the end of a long hard winter and that affects mood.. hang on in there and see if you feel better in a few weeks?

italodisco

Apply for the civil service as a clerical officer next time the panel is advertised, it might be there now on publicjobs.ie,

I was like yourself and in the end dropped college and the job and went into civil service. Glad I did, I got to have a life again

MrMiata

italodisco wrote: »

Apply for the civil service as a clerical officer next time the panel is advertised, it might be there now on publicjobs.ie,

I was like yourself and in the end dropped college and the job and went into civil service. Glad I did, I got to have a life again

Thanks for the advice.

I've actually applied for the guards awhile back and I'm through to the fitness test now.

The reason I didn't mention that is because there's zero guarantee of getting in, but it's something I'd love to do and so I'll quietly work away at it.

IvoryTower

Sounds like you are on the right track. College was a grind for me also, was much happier when i got out and started to have a reasonable income etc

The_Honeybadger

Op your situation would drive me cracked too, always on the go, no money, parents nagging etc.

Your job sounds like a pure disaster. That is the first thing you need to change. I’d also look at moving to the town where you go to college and trying to find work there during term next year, get out from under your parents feet and get some independence. If cost is the issue get rid of the car and use public transport to get back home when you need to. This is what most students do, a car is a major luxury in your situation but I know it is difficult to give it up.

As for leaving college, a degree will stand to you big time no matter what path you choose after college. I work in the public service at a mid management level, colleagues of mine that don’t have degrees hit their ceiling quite quickly relatively speaking. Stick it out if you can, you won’t regret it but you almost certainly will at some point regret dropping out.

OP, fair play, the first thing is realising there's something up, now you can work on fixing it.

If at all possible, get a better job, one with fixed hours. Disorganised working hours make it impossible to plan anything.

Then reach out to your mates from school. Chances are some of them are feeling a bit adrift too. You don't have to spend a fortune, throw out a WhatsApp to see if anyone fancies a hike, or a film, or just a bag of cans etc.

If you can find the time in your week, commit to running a half marathon in the next 6 months. Download a free training plan and stick to it. Exercise is unreal for your mental health and it's good to have a goal to work towards. Even a short run is time better spent than moping around on boards, or wherever.

Main thing is you will be able to fix this, it can be much better soon with a small bit of effort now.

MrMiata

Deleted User wrote: »

OP, fair play, the first thing is realising there's something up, now you can work on fixing it.

If at all possible, get a better job, one with fixed hours. Disorganised working hours make it impossible to plan anything.

Then reach out to your mates from school. Chances are some of them are feeling a bit adrift too. You don't have to spend a fortune, throw out a WhatsApp to see if anyone fancies a hike, or a film, or just a bag of cans etc.

If you can find the time in your week, commit to running a half marathon in the next 6 months. Download a free training plan and stick to it. Exercise is unreal for your mental health and it's good to have a goal to work towards. Even a short run is time better spent than moping around on boards, or wherever.

Main thing is you will be able to fix this, it can be much better soon with a small bit of effort now.

Thank you,

I do still talk to my old mates, they're my only mates really.
We meet up every now and then but between the lads working during the week, while i'm in college and them being off on weekends when I'm working, it's very difficult to get together.

I've actually just started running, went out and got fitted for running shoes too.
I'd love to work towards an ironman but baby steps!