Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

What is this?

  • 10-02-2020 7:32pm
    #1
    Katyc63323
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭


    Hi, I'm new here and I'd appreciate some help and honest opinions,

    I'm finished with my ex 5 years, I thought I was over him, we kept in contact with the odd message but havent seen him in about 1 year
    Anyway since xmas I cant stop thinking about him, reminiscing and missing him so much

    I've also realised I only started feeling like this since he told me hes met someone new and is happy
    I feel like I cant stop thinking about him

    On my side I'm in a relationship nearly 2 years I have a great job that keeps me happy but I cant get him out of my head

    What is this? Please tell me
    Thank you


Comments

  • #2
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,150 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    Probably wanting what you can't have. Most of us have been there :)

    When he was single there was probably a small part of you, subconsciously had him as a "back up", now he's in a relationship and happy that back up is gone.

    Guaranteed if both of you were single and went out on a date you'd remember in 10 minutes why you broke up.

    Concentrate on your current relationship, these feelings should pass :)


  • #3
    Katyc63323
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭Katyc63323


    Princess Calla wrote: »
    Probably wanting what you can't have. Most of us have been there :)

    When he was single there was probably a small part of you, subconsciously had him as a "back up", now he's in a relationship and happy that back up is gone.

    Guaranteed if both of you were single and went out on a date you'd remember in 10 minutes why you broke up.

    Concentrate on your current relationship, these feelings should pass :)

    Thank you for this reply


  • #4
    redfox123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 208 ✭✭redfox123


    What is going on in your current relationship that could have you thinking so much about an ex from 5 years ago? Are you bored with the relationship, are there unresolved issues, arguments, not enough emotional/physical intimacy? If your needs were being met and you were very happy I don’t think you would be constantly thinking about an ex from a long time ago.


  • #5
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    It’s quite common for people to put exes on a pedestal when they’re in a relationship, I’ve had it happen to me with exes before texting me like “Nobody understands me like you did” etc. But they were awful to be with when we were going out and now they were just being ****ty partners to the next guy. Generally it’s a sign of a fear of intimacy: it’s very easy to avoid getting close to the person that’s there and available, who could hurt you if you did, by idolising and getting distracted by someone who’s not available and telling yourself it’s because of some magical connection. When in reality, you broke up for a reason and haven’t seen that person or talked to them regularly in a year. If it was some irresistible ‘connection’ and the opportunity was there, it would’ve just happened. It didn’t, so it’s not. So all that’s happening is you’re avoiding intimacy with your current partner and playing it off as some big whirlwind drama.


Advertisement