Can't tell anybody where I work

LegacyUser

I have toxic family members. So toxic that I couldn't tell them where I worked. During a funeral, they stood by listening to all the cousins talk (I didn't want to be rude by not answering, even though, it was just small talk between cousins asking how I'm getting on, work,etc). They figured out where I worked and I was threatened and intimidated in my job.

I have gotten a new job. However, I'm still speaking to aunts, uncles and cousins. I can't tell them about my new job and what I do, in case it gets back to my family.

Relatives are just being nice by asking. But I know things can eventually get back to my family and I don't want that. If they can stand over a dead body listening to cousins talk, to find out information, they have no problem in ruining me.

So how do I answer these small talk questions without giving away my job details.

zapper55

Make it up. Oh I work in an insurance/finance office in town, its very small you wouldnt have heard of it.

Or be honest and say what happened the last time you told people where you lived. Those family members sound insane, did you go to the guards before?

jimgoose

If you don't mind my saying, Chief, it sounds like you're trying to solve the wrong problem. What on Earth is wrong with these people?

John Mason

I work in "insert some random name" on "random street name"

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Yeah it's little white lie time. Little white lie and a hard pivot.

"I'm actually mostly remotely these days it's great, I'm on the road a bit too. But oh sure the car insurance is killing me, who are you with? I must shop around more next year, I was on the phone I'd say 3 hours with them last year and...what's the one with the ad with the owl?"

Just move things away from that subject quickly and subtly.

I hope you're estranged from these people and the funeral was them grabbing their chance because they were in the same room with you?"

kylith

I worked in a job that I couldn't tell people about for a couple of years. As far as anyone knew I worked in 'A warehouse'.
You don't have to tell them anything.

HildaOgdenx

I agree, tell a white lie. It's only small talk, and if it is going to cause issues for you with family, invent something vague. 'Working as a consultant / advisor / trainer / whatever to a few different companies.'

Change of subject subtly. 'How are things with you etc.'

AulWan

Lie.

Or stay away from funerals where you know they will be in attendance?