Some advice on dating please

LegacyUser

Lads,
I’m having no luck dating at all, at all.
I’m female, in the late twenties bracket. And fed up.
I’ve been plagued by sexters, had pen pals and been stood up.
In the last few weeks, I been chatting to these lads who seem normal and not ott... living nearby. But it seems to be a big ask to get a first date? I’m funny, witty, chat away and flirt a bit.
Exhibit A: I was chatting to a man on tinder, seemed to get on well, I ended up suggesting a date which we both agreed to, he turned up 30mins late, but we both got on very well, text briefly back and forth. In the last text, he was suggesting that it should be me asking him out for a second date? I laughed it off as I had asked him on the first date and since I’d been initiating most of the contact, I stopped to see if he would come back to me and now radio silence.
I’m not being petty but i have no indication of his interest at all? I’ve made a lot of effort and have initiated a lot of the texting too.
Exhibit B: Again, another fella living nearby. Seemed determined to keep messaging me on the app, gave me his number, I was hesitant as he seemed overly keen at times but again, thought he was normal. Texting back and forth. I keep hinting at a first date and he’s not picking up on it at all or just ignoring it; either way - makes me wonder why he’s bothering to initiate contact at all?

Is this a case of he’s or they are just not that into you?

Dating and the apps are really messing with my head.
I’m on it to go on dates with men and have fun - see what happens?
But that seems to be a tall order ?
So what is it that men want exactly? Is it because I’m answering back that they think they can keep me as an option or something? Even though men using tinder are constantly complaining about matching and not getting messages or replies?

I’m gonna also let you know these men are literally both 2km away from me.
So distance is certainly not an issue!

Any advice?

ILoveYourVibes

Tinder allows people to present themselves as people they are not.

A lot of it is simply narcissistic and not really looking for a relationship. They just liek the way their profile looks or something.

That goes for both genders.

Neither situation A or B seems worth pursuing.

achmairt

Keep away from dating sites. As for asking a man for a date, that is a big nono. They have to do the asking and you have to pretend you're not interested. Then they want you more because they want what they cannot have.....I know it doesn't make sense but its the truth I'm afraid. Have pride in yourself and the will respect you

Rodin

Tinderella1 wrote: »

Lads,
I’m having no luck dating at all, at all.
I’m female, in the late twenties bracket. And fed up.
I’ve been plagued by sexters, had pen pals and been stood up.
In the last few weeks, I been chatting to these lads who seem normal and not ott... living nearby. But it seems to be a big ask to get a first date? I’m funny, witty, chat away and flirt a bit.
Exhibit A: I was chatting to a man on tinder, seemed to get on well, I ended up suggesting a date which we both agreed to, he turned up 30mins late, but we both got on very well, text briefly back and forth. In the last text, he was suggesting that it should be me asking him out for a second date? I laughed it off as I had asked him on the first date and since I’d been initiating most of the contact, I stopped to see if he would come back to me and now radio silence.
I’m not being petty but i have no indication of his interest at all? I’ve made a lot of effort and have initiated a lot of the texting too.
Exhibit B: Again, another fella living nearby. Seemed determined to keep messaging me on the app, gave me his number, I was hesitant as he seemed overly keen at times but again, thought he was normal. Texting back and forth. I keep hinting at a first date and he’s not picking up on it at all or just ignoring it; either way - makes me wonder why he’s bothering to initiate contact at all?

Is this a case of he’s or they are just not that into you?

Dating and the apps are really messing with my head.
I’m on it to go on dates with men and have fun - see what happens?
But that seems to be a tall order ?
So what is it that men want exactly? Is it because I’m answering back that they think they can keep me as an option or something? Even though men using tinder are constantly complaining about matching and not getting messages or replies?

I’m gonna also let you know these men are literally both 2km away from me.
So distance is certainly not an issue!

Any advice?

30mins late?
I'd have been out the door at 15.
Forget about him.

They both sound like they're not worth the effort.
Concentrate on enjoying life and doing what makes you happy. The relationship will follow. And stay off tinder.

Xterminator

achmairt wrote: »

......As for asking a man for a date, that is a big nono. They have to do the asking and you have to pretend you're not interested. Then they want you more because they want what they cannot have.....

that entire post was missing a big /S

in this day and age telling someone to pretend they are not interested and make the man pursue & playing games .... sweet baby yoda!

OP - the dating apps are filled with large % of people who are not genuine and a small % of those who are. So when you are using them it tends to be a numbers game. if this causes yo to lose confidence and doubt yourself, maybe its time to take a little break and try other avenues like a new hobby or meetups etc?

Because each tome one of the wasters ghosts you or lets you down, it isnt a reflection on you, but on them and the medium itself!

Murdoc90

This is pretty much online dating! I found tinder very bad for timewasters and hook ups. Bumble was alot better, People were more genuine and seemed like they were on there to actually date. Unfortunately you're going to have to wade through the sh1t! There are men out there who want the same thing as you.

LegacyUser

Hi Lads,

Thanks for your replies.

Online apps are just something I cannot get my head around!

It seems the creepers and timewasters are the majority on it.

Are men happy these days just to swipe and perv on tinder and social media and just have “texting relationships”. I’m sure there are genuine people out there but I haven’t met them?
They seem happy to stay on their apps and perv rather than actually go out on dates !

Update on the two timewasters:
Exhibit A never reached out etc it just died out. Bizarre to say the least! Blocked

Exhibit B kept telling me how busy he was and never asked me out. Blocked