How do I stop feeling afraid and insecure?

Rck888746

First of all, sorry for the long post and bad English.

I am in a new situation in my life that I don't know exactly how to handle and I would like some advice. Thanks for reading and helping.

So... a little backstory. I was in a long-distance relationship in 2017 and it ended with me heartbroken because she could not handle the distance. It was just a few months, but I felt pretty bad when it ended.

Now, in the end of last year I met a girl and we started dating. We have a serious relationship for almost 2 months now. She is wonderful, I feel in love like I never felt in my life and she feels the same. By the way, I am 31 and she is 23, but she is very mature for her age, so it doesn't really feel like there is a big difference. I am speaking about age because maybe you guys can tell me if this has something to do with it.

The relationship is going very well, we love each others company and have a ton of stuff in common. The problem is... I feel very insecure and afraid about losing her. Yes, sounds ridiculous and crazy, but that's how I feel. I often catch myself with a bad feeling, thinking that I will be devastated if for some reason we break up.

I told you the backstory of 2 years ago because I think this has a lot to do with how I feel. I mean, if a LDR of a few months made me feel so sad when it ended, I can't even imagine how I would be about this one, because, despite only 2 months, we already had a lot more moments together and I feel much more in love with my girlfriend now than I ever felt before.

We talked about this a few days ago, she said she also had some moments like that, but we agreed it was all nonsense in our heads and we should just drop it and enjoy the moment. Which is the obvious thing. But I am quite sure the level of fear she feels is not the same. For example, here I am in my house, in a free afternoon, after a wonderful night with her yesterday and instead of feeling happy I am feeling afraid. And this sure as hell is not right.

Is there anything I can do to stop feeling like that? Is this something that will go away as the relationship goes on?

Thanks in advance for the help and any other doubts about me/relationship feel free to ask.

Dial Hard

Two months is not a serious relationship. A long distance relationship of 'just a couple of months' should not have sent you into a heartbroken spiral when it ended. It seems there's a pattern here of you getting completely over-invested in and overthinking relationships.

You're 31, what has been your relationship history so far? Anything long term?

achmairt

You will drive her away if you let these feelings take over...I mean you could die next week but you don't stress about that do u? We can only enjoy life while we can and live in the moment. Sounds like she's really into you too so chill out and relax and enjoy what you have. You're one of the lucky ones. Good luck.