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How common is an Oratory from a family member at funeral mass

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  • 20-01-2020 1:28pm
    #1
    Dots1982
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,957 ✭✭✭


    As per the question in subject. Is it the “done thing”?


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    #2
    KWAG2019
    Closed Accounts Posts: 834 ✭✭✭KWAG2019


    Never seen it not done for the last 20 years. Ish. Sometimes hear two orations.


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    #3
    Dots1982
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,957 ✭✭✭Dots1982


    ]Really surprised by that. Fear of public speaking? And do people talk about the deceased? Funny and life affirming anecdotes or what do they say?


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    #4
    daheff
    Registered Users Posts: 5,839 ✭✭✭daheff


    It's very common. And one of the hardest things somebody can ever do.

    Hope you never have a reason to have to do it


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    #5
    elperello
    Registered Users Posts: 14,386 ✭✭✭✭elperello


    daheff wrote: »
    It's very common. And one of the hardest things somebody can ever do.

    Hope you never have a reason to have to do it

    I agree that is one of the hardest things for a member of the family to do.

    Nobody should feel that they have to. If you think you can't just don't.

    I have seen friends stepping into the breach to help the family by saying a few well chosen words. That can work very well.


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    #6
    beauf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,651 ✭✭✭✭beauf


    I've seen friends and other people give it.

    Occasionally a priest where asked to do so. But rarely.


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    #7
    Dots1982
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,957 ✭✭✭Dots1982


    And what would they say?


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    #8
    slavetothegrind
    Registered Users Posts: 2,789 ✭✭✭slavetothegrind


    It is extremely difficult but if done right, as i have seen recently by a friend, it is powerful and cathartic.


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    #9
    beauf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,651 ✭✭✭✭beauf


    There a guide here...

    https://rip.ie/article.php?AID=66

    Personally I think they have started to get a bit too long. But each to their own.


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    #10
    JustAThought
    Registered Users Posts: 5,323 ✭✭✭JustAThought


    To answer your original question following increasing domination of the funeral mass by wedding like speeches - often with inappropriate bawdy and loud content - mid mass from the alter, the church has now come out strongly to say it is no longer going to be facilitated or allowed in the course of the mass and that a few short words may be said by one family member at the start or more appropriately after the mass has concluded - also from the altar.

    Many parish priests deviate from this new rule and still allow long speeches from family members and may still allow mid mass eulogies but officially it is no longer officially allowed.


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    #11
    elperello
    Registered Users Posts: 14,386 ✭✭✭✭elperello


    Dots1982 wrote: »
    And what would they say?

    They usually try to outline their own relationship with the deceased and say what that meant to them.


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