How do you stop getting jealous?

mr_fegelien

Every time I'm out for college I see a hot woman/man and get sad that I don't look like them or that I'm not attractive enough to get with them (catch their attention).

Does everyone feel jealousy with people who are richer, wealthier, smarter, good looking etc.. or is it only me?

mr_fegelien

CQD wrote: »

They probably don't have your post count though..

I Love Your Vibes beats me in that though

mr_fegelien

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Every time I'm out for college I see a hot woman/man and get sad that I don't look like them or that I'm not attractive enough to get with them (catch their attention).

Does everyone feel jealousy with people who are richer, wealthier, smarter, good looking etc.. or is it only me?

You're bisexual now?

Sky King

I reflect on the little things in life, such as how a tent with me sleeping in it didn't get bulldozed into the Canal in Dublin this morning and I then am more inclined to feel that I'm happy enough with my lot.

Graces7

Just read that; words fail. Thought I was misreading it at first. and yes, you are right.

Sky King wrote: »

I reflect on the little things in life, such as how a tent with me sleeping in it didn't get bulldozed into the Canal in Dublin this morning and I then am more inclined to feel that I'm happy enough with my lot.

JohnCleary

Go get a tan, even a ming-bag will look better with a tan.

I've a great tan at the moment and even i'm getting 2nd looks in the gym (Either that or they're thinking some twat is covered in fake tan)

Badly Drunk Boy

JohnCleary wrote: »

Go get a tan, even a ming-bag will look better with a tan.

I think he already has a decent tan...

Fr_Dougal

JohnCleary wrote: »

Go get a tan, even a ming-bag will look better with a tan.

I've a great tan at the moment and even i'm getting 2nd looks in the gym (Either that or they're thinking some twat is covered in fake tan)

Op has a tan, he’s black.

Grow taller and become more handsome, OP.

Unfortunately you still won’t have any money to go on dates, but at least it will give you something to occupy yourself with.

Lyan

Everyone gets it different. I'm afraid it's pretty much hardwired into your brain. You might grow to care less as you get older. Perhaps some stroke of personal fortune or a wispy epiphany may provide a quicker fix.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Technically, that's envy.

seamus

Envy - Desiring something that someone else has

Jealousy - Fearing that someone may take away something that you have

Just FYI

Anyway, you can't really "stop" getting envious. You just have to make peace with the fact that there are some things in this life that you can't change. If you can change them, but you don't want to go to the effort, then you should make peace with that too.

You get better at it as you get older, but very few people become truly, 100%, comfortable and contented with what they have. The human beast is a resource hoarder, so reprogramming yourself is not easy.

Fr_Dougal

Teresa Small Swan wrote: »

Technically, that's envy.

So he’s sh1t at English too? Guy can’t catch a break.

mr_fegelien

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Op has a tan, he’s black.

Grow taller and become more handsome, OP.

Unfortunately you still won’t have any money to go on dates, but at least it will give you something to occupy yourself with.

I'm 21 and 5ft 5in. Don't think I'll be growing taller any soon

Tacitus Kilgore

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I'm 21 and 5ft 5in. Don't think I'll be growing taller any soon

Just borrow some tips from celebs, it's all about appearance.

Shanotheslayer

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I'm 21 and 5ft 5in. Don't think I'll be growing taller any soon

Get swole

mini homer

Jealousy is pretty much innate. You could say it’s very common for individuals. especially with a mechanism that natural selection has shaped us for caring for our relationships with our partners. A suggestion is reading a book called the jealousy cure. It’s a psychology book that goes into detail about the nature of the it. Hope this helps.

nthclare

Believe you me, its worse when you're easy on the eye, a hot silver fox funny and ruggedly handsome and all women want to do with you is ride you, have a fling and then end up settling with a wealthy fat bastard.

MUST BE THE MONEY

Fr_Dougal

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I'm 21 and 5ft 5in. Don't think I'll be growing taller any soon

If you had the money you could get leg implants.

Apiarist

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Does everyone feel jealousy with people who are richer, wealthier, smarter, good looking etc.. or is it only me?

Maybe, but definitely not me. I love myself and I pity those less fortunate that are not me

I think your "jealousy" comes from feeling inadequate. This feeling is unlikely to go away even if you become richer, and it's unlikely you can get smarter. So why bother with obtaining money? Be happy with what you got, if you can.

KiKi III

You are a human being with intrinsic value. You are not better than anyone and no one is better than you.

Remind yourself of this regularly. It almost works.

who what when

Marcus Aurelius said it best...
'Treat what you don’t have as nonexistent. Look at what
you have, the things you value most, and think of how much you’d crave them if you didn’t have them. But be careful.
Don’t feel such satisfaction that you start to overvalue them
—that it would upset you to lose them'

mr_fegelien

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Every time I'm out for college I see a hot woman/man and get sad that I don't look like them or that I'm not attractive enough to get with them (catch their attention).

Does everyone feel jealousy with people who are richer, wealthier, smarter, good looking etc.. or is it only me?

Get out of Ireland/UK, and do some extensive dating. You'll quickly learn that you can be considered just as attractive as those guys, by hotter women... after a while, you'll gain enough experience, to not care.

You'll know not to put them on any kind of pedestal, learn how to communicate your interests more effectively, and be able to retain your state of confidence... thus being able to attract others. And with those experiences, you'll be able to refine what you consider attractive, and probably not focus so much on physical appearance.

No offense intended to Irish women, but the dating culture in Ireland/UK tends to drive men to having confidence issues. Go abroad, and you'll learn fairly quickly that it's not [always] looks or money that gets the gorgeous women.

s7ryf3925pivug

No I don't feel jealous of random people for being richer or better looking than me. I wasn't jealous of people who were rich even when I didn't have much money. Not sure I've recognized feeling jealous. I've definitely felt angry at times if I think I haven't been treated fairly. But it doesn't bother me per se if someone has something I don't.

I've definitely been the object of jealousy a few times. I find jealousy in other people quite contemptible and not something I can relate to.

mr_fegelien

KiKi III wrote: »

You are a human being with intrinsic value. You are not better than anyone and no one is better than you.

Remind yourself of this regularly. It almost works.

Nice to say but lets be honest, it's a cold world out there.

People get benefits from society and the law based on their gender, appearance, race, wealth. I know it's good to be positive but the cold truth still stands.

Junkyard Tom

KiKi III wrote: »

You are not better than anyone and no one is better than you.

Hitler. He's better than Hitler.

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a ****ing big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of ****ing fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing ****ing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, ****ed-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would [mr_fegelien] want to do a thing like that?




good lad

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Nice to say but lets be honest, it's a cold world out there.

People get benefits from society and the law based on their gender, appearance, race, wealth. I know it's good to be positive but the cold truth still stands.

You just keep looking for excuses not to do anything about your life. Please talk to somebody (in real life) about it and put an action plan in place.

Apiarist

Esme Microscopic Azimuth wrote: »

You just keep looking for excuses not to do anything about your life. Please talk to somebody (in real life) about it and put an action plan in place.

But what if someone else's action plan is better? 🀣

Lyan

KiKi III wrote: »

You are a human being with intrinsic value. You are not better than anyone and no one is better than you.

Remind yourself of this regularly. It almost works.

You could tell him to go to church next. Jesus said it best.

mr_fegelien

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Nice to say but lets be honest, it's a cold world out there.

People get benefits from society and the law based on their gender, appearance, race, wealth. I know it's good to be positive but the cold truth still stands.

You've got the best benefits of all. You're alive and have the ability to change.

Stop making excuses, and stop seeking reasons to feel a victim. You don't need those benefits that others receive. You've got access to the internet, research the skills/knowledge needed to improve your potential for better careers, and get out there.

It's truly sad the way some people online harp on about an unfair world. It's a world full of potential.. if you're willing to explore it, and capable of committing yourself to positive personal development. Stop with the negativity, and understand that you can change your life... if you really want it changed. It's far easier to moan and complain about your lot, but ultimately, while it's easier, it's also rather pathetic. You have options.. avail of them!

Naggdefy

Lyan wrote: »

You could tell him to go to church next. Jesus said it best.

Mightn't be a bad idea. One of those Pentecostal churches, with dancing and singing. I think young Fegelein could really benefit from it.

Fr_Dougal

victor8600 wrote: »

This feeling is unlikely to go away even if you become richer, and it's unlikely you can get smarter. So why bother with obtaining money? Be happy with what you got, if you can.

He could get the leg implants with money.

OP, can you drive a digger?

Naggdefy

What sort of coiff/cow's lick has Damo?

I don't think the hair is dyed but heavy duty gel, wet look.

s7ryf3925pivug

Ah no people do treat you differently because of how you look or your perceived status.

Hego Damask

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Every time I'm out for college I see a hot woman/man and get sad that I don't look like them or that I'm not attractive enough to get with them (catch their attention).

Does everyone feel jealousy with people who are richer, wealthier, smarter, good looking etc.. or is it only me?

Heres a bit of advice that has really improved my outlook on life


Don't compare yourself with the man next door - compare yourself with the man you were yesterday

So work on improving yourself ... step by step ... bit by bit ... and boom! in 5 years time you'll be in a much better place - guaranteed!

Porklife

Tacitus Kilgore wrote: »

Just borrow some tips from celebs, it's all about appearance.

Haha even the little dog and extra spikey hair in a failed attempt to look taller... brilliant

Strumms

I think being comfortable with yourself gets easier with maturity.

Certainly in my younger days I could be a little envious of the guy with the hot girlfriend, the better job, the nicer car.... with maturity I just decided to go get the things in life that I wanted, fûck measuring my success, happiness or otherwise by looking at other people... be the template for your own success and happiness, don’t worry a fûck about anyone else... go get what you want, go be happy, go be whoever and whatever you want... do whatever is required...if it pisses off others fûck em... we’ve one shot at this... NO isn’t in our vocabulary... go get and BE happy.

HamSarris

Strumms wrote: »

I think being comfortable with yourself gets easier with maturity.

Certainly in my younger days I could be a little envious of the guy with the hot girlfriend, the better job, the nicer car.... with maturity I just decided to go get the things in life that I wanted, fûck measuring my success, happiness or otherwise by looking at other people... be the template for your own success and happiness, don’t worry a fûck about anyone else... go get what you want, go be happy, go be whoever and whatever you want... do whatever is required...if it pisses off others fûck em... we’ve one shot at this... NO isn’t in our vocabulary... go get and BE happy.

Don't let your dreams be dreams...Yesterday you said tomorrow...Make your dreams come true...Some people dream of success...While you're gonna wake up and work hard at it....Nothing is impossible..And if you're tired of starting over...Stop giving up...Do it