what to do?

tara73

long time poster, having a bit of a situation here now. I started a new job in November last year and I would like to get some perspective/thoughts from neutral people on the situation. Sorry if it's a bit long, don't know how to shorten this madness.

I was first reluctant to start there as I could see they don't do projects I'm specialised in and enjoy. I canceled after the interview but they really wanted to employ me, calling me again telling me they have indeed projects in my work category and if I would be up for coming along again and they show me. I did, liked the project and also they were very friendly, telling me it's an important part in the office, being joky with each other and blabla.

So I decided to give it a go and accepted the offer mainly because I was looking forward to the project but also because of the promoted 'nice work athmosphere.'
Biggest mistake.
I don't work on the project, they gave me something different. I would be ok with it for the time being and to get into all the office policies, admin stuff etc., but there's actually nothing to do on it which fills an 8hour day. I was sitting there for weeks till christmas with nothing to do!

So surely after a few days when seeing there's nothing coming along from the boss and his assistant I went to the assistannt and asked should I also work on something else. She phoned the boss immediately, he came around, explained something about the project and then made it clear: this is now your project and it will not change. He kind of insinuated I didn't want to work on it, but I just wanted to let them know it's not filling an 8hour day but they didn't wanted to hear it! This is so strange in itself but it gets 'better':

The 'friendlyness' they promoted in the interview isn't really there. I actually don't work on the project they showed me because somebody else is doing it. This guy is sitting kind of next to me and sometimes (not more than 2-3 times a day) I asked him something which is pretty normal being a new colleague I think. I also asked him a bit about the project because I was assuming we would work on it together in a few weeks.
This guy out of the blue during some conversation with another colleague which he joined than told me out of the blue 'Don't talk to me anymore !..I was gobsmacked to say the least. The others in the office heard it but didn't say anything. Me neither, as said, I first thouht I was dreaming as I couldn't figure out why he said that. He didn't apologised or anything. After a few days I approached him to clear with him how and why he can say I shouldn't talk to him anymore as we are here to wok together etc. He then started shouting loudly at me and called the boss for a talk between us three.
He switched the story around to make me look like the bad person. Too weird to explain in detail. The boss is kind of protecting this guy because he obviously thinks he's worth more than me and so he gets away with behaviour like this.

It all really got to me and my body went on 'it's not bearable' mode. I know this already, when I'm in situations were in a way everything's wrong my body tells me to get out with severe pain everywhere. I'm on sick leave at the moment because of this severe pain.

My question is now, what should I do? I don't see a future in this work place at all, my body is telling me this very directly and I actually can't work because of the pain I'm in. Should I tell them they should send me a termination of the contract? But then I think why? They can ask me what's up and then I will tell them but why make it easy for them? They actually lied to me or lured me in with wrong facts and now I'm in this position to have to look for a new job again. I'm actually furious.
What would you do?

Sleepy

Get on with the job search, do what work you're assigned, try to "look busy" the rest of the day and leave them to it when you have secured a new position. You've nothing to gain by doing anything else and only potential to create enemies by causing a fuss. Take satisfaction knowing that they'll be suffering the hassle of trying to hire someone new when you leave.

Diceicle

In my opinion, the thing to do here is to put all your energy and focus into getting out of there ASAP.
I'd be considering whether to go back at all - I mean, you're only there a couple of weeks so you could not even mention it on the CV, and you then dont need them as a reference.
It sounds like a toxic place to work so get your CV into some recruitment agencies and you could have something in place in a couple of weeks.

antix80

Bit of a no-brainer but you need to get out of there.

tara73

thanks for replies so far.

yes, I will get out, that's for sure and I'm already looking ten times a day for new vacancies. The situation is quite good in my field but it will still take weeks or even a few month to find something new.
Maybe I wasn't clear, but my question is more: how to proceed now with this employer? They don't really know that I'm this fed up, maybe they're guessing. And to get out sooner or later I need to have a conversation with them. But how to approach it? Tell them all their f** up behaviour and ask for termination of the contract? I kind of also feel bad or guilty not telling them what's up being just sick (yes, because of the situation). But then I think it wasn't me who created this mess and why should I feel guilty?

JustAThought

you cna be sure they have an idea that you are dissatisfied and that someone would have spoken about yer man (what an ***) shouting at you.Maybe he explodes under pressure,maybe he cant multitask, but to behave that way to
you or anyone in work and in public and carry in behaving like that giving you the silent treatment and not apologisng for his ‘hasty words’ is shocking.

I wouldnt make a deal out of it - it sounds like the job is not what they planned for you - perhaps they didn’t get a contract or funding didn’t come through or it was put lower on their priority list or someone skuppered it.Regardless do as the other poster suggested, discreetly pook for jobs elsewhere AT HOME, make yourself productive and useful in work amd if you have spare capacity send an email to yor boss along the lines of I have about 2 hours additional capacity per pay/week -is there some online training that might be usedul to the team that I do or perhaps someone needs an additional resource for their team to be allocated to.

I’d keep my head low, avoid antagonising Mr Prickly and work on being seen to be amenable, agreeable and get that good reference for when you go. Try not to let them upset you too much and even in your head avoid trying to rerun their promises or interview or use emotive words like lies -it will only wind yourself up.

Ive lost track of the amount of broken promises and essentially lies I’ve been told at interviews - you need at this stage to shrug it off having already taken the steps you have, work positively,politelg and well with others and find something that might be more in line with your career goals. There may be some part of this that will stand to you when you leave - organisational capacity, due process , learning new systems -whatever.Strive to learn and grow as much as you can and remember they pay you because its painful - you have to put up with a certain amount of absolute frustration and nonsense -bank the money and experience, work for the experience and good reference and move on.

tara73

JustAThought wrote: »

you cna be sure they have an idea that you are dissatisfied and that someone would have spoken about yer man (what an ***) shouting at you.Maybe he explodes under pressure,maybe he cant multitask, but to behave that way to
you or anyone in work and in public and carry in behaving like that giving you the silent treatment and not apologisng for his ‘hasty words’ is shocking.

yes, this guy is a nasty person. I feel he could explode anytime again. And yes, multitasking doesn't seem to be one of his qualities, he always felt very disturbed when I asked him something.

In essence, he feels threatened by me, threatened I will take the project of him. How silly is that? No self esteem at all, if he's that good, how can I take it from him? And I actually don't want to take it, I would want to work as a team. but he obviously has no idea what it means being a team. I remember, just to start a conversation in the first days I was there, I asked something general like: how's the project doing? And he answered: yes, it's my project. Not much you can add to that.

JustAThought wrote: »

I wouldnt make a deal out of it - it sounds like the job is not what they planned for you - perhaps they didn’t get a contract or funding didn’t come through or it was put lower on their priority list or someone skuppered it.Regardless do as the other poster suggested, discreetly pook for jobs elsewhere AT HOME, make yourself productive and useful in work amd if you have spare capacity send an email to yor boss along the lines of I have about 2 hours additional capacity per pay/week -is there some online training that might be usedul to the team that I do or perhaps someone needs an additional resource for their team to be allocated to.

yes, I don't know why they employed me at all. they probably thought I'm not the ambitious type (like them) but they are wrong. sitting eigth hours in front of a computer with nothing to do is driving me mental.
I can't send the boss e-mails asking for work, I did that and they showed me some stuff were nothing was to be done either. It's unbelievable actually.

JustAThought wrote: »

I’d keep my head low, avoid antagonising Mr Prickly and work on being seen to be amenable, agreeable and get that good reference for when you go. Try not to let them upset you too much and even in your head avoid trying to rerun their promises or interview or use emotive words like lies -it will only wind yourself up.

thing is, I'm not there at all because I'm on sick leave, so no risk of provoking mr. Prickly at all..:D

JustAThought wrote: »

Ive lost track of the amount of broken promises and essentially lies I’ve been told at interviews - you need at this stage to shrug it off having already taken the steps you have, work positively,politelg and well with others and find something that might be more in line with your career goals. There may be some part of this that will stand to you when you leave - organisational capacity, due process , learning new systems -whatever.Strive to learn and grow as much as you can and remember they pay you because its painful - you have to put up with a certain amount of absolute frustration and nonsense -bank the money and experience, work for the experience and good reference and move on.

this is in line with my experience in the work field, but I can never resign to bank the money, sit there and endure all this nonsense. do I really have to? I have a horrible feeling you might be right.