A visit to a mental health hospital showed me how depressed I am.

LegacyUser

I've a friend currently in a hospital due to ongoing mental health issues. I was up visiting him recently and it struck me how upbeat a lot of the patients seemed. I don't know what reason many of them are in for but many seemed much more positive, outgoing people than I am.

I have a pretty poor understanding of any mental health conditions beyond anxiety but I've always suspected I've been suffering from a kind of low-level depression throughout my life. My GP says the fact I have hobbies (they're all solitary), sleep well, and have a good appetite suggests I'm not depressed. But I think negatively almost all the time and I have terrible self-esteem.

I know there are other mental health conditions like bipolar that my understanding about is almost zero, but I almost felt from being around the patients up there that I have just as much reason to be admitted as them. They seemed fine with socializing while I'm terribly uncomfortable, they seemed upbeat about life while I'm quiet, reserved, and I invariably wear a serious expression on my face.

Maybe my issues run a lot deeper than I thought. But what to do when my GP evaluates me and says I'm not depressed? I saw a psychiatrist as an outpatient 5 years ago and I was classed as not depressed by him.

woodchuck

Mod note:

This is just a pre-emptive reminder to all posters that diagnosis is not allowed on boards.

Wanderer78

I'm autistic myself, recently diagnosed, I can somewhat relate to your story, I've always had a low mood, throughout my life, have had periods of very low mood/depression on and off, I'm on a very mild anti-depressant now, which I think helps, and I luckily get help with my autism. I'm fairly social able, which is unusual for an aspie, but I've been told that can be possible. You could try push for an assessment by a professional such as a clinical psychologist, just to see what's going on. Best of luck

woodchuck

OP, firstly it might be worthwhile getting a second opinion from another doctor. As stated above, it's not up to anyone here to diagnose you, but if you feel something is really wrong with you, then it can't hurt.

However, if you still don't get a diagnosis, then I'd recommend counselling to try and get to the bottom of why you're feeling this way.

It might be worthwhile asking yourself why you're comparing yourself to others? There's nothing inherently wrong with being quiet, reserved etc. You might just need to learn to be more accepting of yourself. Nobodys mental health is 100%; it might be that there's nothing "wrong" with you in a medical sense, but there will always be ways to improve yourself and be happier in your own skin.

Wanderer78

woodchuck wrote:

However, if you still don't get a diagnosis, then I'd recommend counselling to try and get to the bottom of why you're feeling this way.

I'd second counselling, its helped me immensely