17 year old girl whos still a fridget.

tiktoktoegirl

How screwed am I? Can’t even get a lad to shift me at this stage bc it’ll be awkward and he’ll be able to tell i’m a fridget and i’d look like such a loser. I’m prob going to be virgin for the rest of my life might as well become a nun later on



CMod Note added 01/01/20: Okay, I have tidied up the thread and deleted a lot of posts. Posters are reminded to keep replies on-topic, helpful and directed to the OP. Also, if you suspect a poster isn't genuine, report it to the mods for them to check out - do not call a poster out on their thread.

Finally, as has been pointed out, the OP is a 17 year old girl asking about kissing someone for the first time. A lot of posters seemed to forget that, or be unaware of the meaning of the word "fridget" in this context. Keep that in mind with any further replies, please.

AlmightyCushion

A. No one will be able to tell and B. Plenty of people won't care. You're 17, it's not the end of the world of you haven't kissed any one. In a few years you'll look back and realise it was silly to think this.

backspacer

First of all your 17 not 70 so thankfully time is on your side To emphasise what the other poster has said is don't stress, you are giving us menfolk too much credit for knowing anything about the opposite sex at that age. Relax and these things will happen naturally over time.

tiktoktoegirl

I’ve had lads say that they’d know straight away if a girls a fridget, and i’m scared I might do something wrong but that does make me feel a bit better

hawkelady

tiktoktoegirl wrote: »

I’ve had lads say that they’d know straight away if a girls a fridget, and i’m scared I might do something wrong but that does make me feel a bit better

That’s lads being lads ,ie ... they haven’t a clue.
Enjoy being 17..... everything will fall into place. Do not fret. Happy new year btw

ILoveYourVibes

tiktoktoegirl wrote: »

How screwed am I? Can’t even get a lad to shift me at this stage bc it’ll be awkward and he’ll be able to tell i’m a fridget and i’d look like such a loser. I’m prob going to be virgin for the rest of my life might as well become a nun later on

That's a lot of negative self talk. Why are you so angry with yourself?

What's the source of all this? You don't have to say here.

I doubt its just boys making you feel this way about yourself.


Yes you will be able to get guy to shift you. You would be able to get a guy for the shift tomorrow night if you really wanted.

Will sex be this shining light right from the get go ..probably not it takes time to get used to the other person etc. You never know though you might hit the ground running. Its always the quiet ones

I do think if something like this is making you so emotional maybe there are deeper issues too.

I know being a teen isn't easy. But things will change over the next 3 yrs. Probably in ways you can't even imagine. Your perspective will be different.

I would advise you to go to college ...its great socially.

Zaph

tiktoktoegirl wrote: »

I’ve had lads say that they’d know straight away if a girls a fridget, and i’m scared I might do something wrong but that does make me feel a bit better

17 year old guys now are just as clueless about girls as they were when I was one myself quite a few years ago. They would have about as much of an idea if a girl is frigid as they would about the inner workings of a nuclear reactor, so don't let them convince you otherwise. At the end of the day, you do what you're comfortable with. And if that means waiting a while before getting involved with guys, so what? You certainly have plenty of time on your side to catch up when you feel you're ready.

Kitty6277

tiktoktoegirl wrote: »

I’ve had lads say that they’d know straight away if a girls a fridget, and i’m scared I might do something wrong but that does make me feel a bit better

You’ll realise as you get older if you haven’t already, lads are idiots (no offence meant to anyone on here) and especially lads your age. They won’t be able to tell because they have absolutely no way of knowing whether it’s your first shift or your one hundred and first shift. I’m not much older than you and I was in the exact same boat at your age. Don’t rush it, things will happen when they’re meant to and being with a lad whether it’s shifting or more isn’t some life changing experience like it’s portrayed to be. Just roll with it and when the time is right it’ll happen.

tiktoktoegirl

Millionaire only not wrote: »

If ur shifting a boy he’ll have enough to do to keep his rod hard besides thinking are u frigit !
It will happen in its own time , if u meet a boy and it’s his first , happy days

most lads my age aren’t fridgets and snap over like fifty girls at a time, same other way around and i snap a few guys myself but I wouldn’t shift them bc I don’t see them that way and I really like this lad but he’s really popular and snapping loads of girls and since im such a fridget i doubt he’d be interested

doughef

tiktoktoegirl wrote: »

most lads my age aren’t fridgets and snap over like fifty girls at a time, same way ther ways around and i snap a few guys myself but I wouldn’t shift them bc I don’t see them that way and I really like this lad but he’s snapping loads of girls and since im such a fridget i doubt he’d be interested

You sound like a very nice young lady
As other posters may have mentioned.. everyone but ESPECIALLY young boys are full of **** !
I was one ... not that long ago !!

You get in a one / one situation and most young fellas haven’t a clue !

Don’t even dream about doing anything your not comfortable with..
Believe me .. as you get older , nice girls are so hard to find
Be true to yourself

tiktoktoegirl

I’ve talked to friends who have no clue im still a fridget and they’ve said that not having had a shift by 2nd year is sad and good luck finding guys from then on, is that true??

ILoveYourVibes

tiktoktoegirl wrote: »

I’ve talked to friends who have no clue im still a fridget and they’ve said that not having had a shift by 2nd year is sad and good luck finding guys from then on, is that true??

-_-

No ...They are being immature they are children. And possibly only joking.

They are probably lying too.

2nd yr is 14. Half the girls in my class were telling all sorts about what they got up to. Half of it was fantasy.

Secondary school is not for sleeping around ...That is what college is for

You should be concentrating on getting a good leaving and finding better more mature friends.

Kitty6277

tiktoktoegirl wrote: »

I’ve talked to friends who have no clue im still a fridget and they’ve said that not having had a shift by 2nd year is sad and good luck finding guys from then on, is that true??

Short answer? No.

None of that stuff you hear in school is true. “You should have done this by this age”, “you do this by 5th year” it’s all BS. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 17 and he didn’t know it was my first. Don’t place your self worth in the hands of boys (or other people in general). Just because you haven’t kissed a lad or got off with someone doesn’t mean you’re not attractive or desirable. Learn to be happy in yourself and learn that you’re attractive because YOU say you are, not because some 17 year old with a shít haircut and Snapchat streaks with 40 other girls says so.

SusieBlue

I mean this in the least patronising way possible but I promise you, as soon as you’ve done it, you’ll wonder what the big fuss is all about.

Most people your age are a lot more inexperienced than they’d ever care to admit. A guy could have kissed 100 girls before but that doesn’t make him a good kisser, and it doesn’t make him qualified to tell whether you’ve had a kiss before or not either.

My advice to you would be to stop building this into a monumentous occasion and take the very next opportunity you get to kiss a boy.
I’m not suggesting you sell yourself short or go off with the first lad that will have you, because there is no rush here.
But it doesn’t need to be a big dramatic experience with someone you’re in love with.
It doesn’t need to be a ‘special’ life defining moment - my own first one was at a teen disco with a randomer whose name I’ve long forgotten.

Now, if waiting until you meet someone you are serious about is what you want to do, then by all means go for it and more power to you.
But it sounds to me like you just want to get it over with.
So I think next time you meet a decent, nice boy (he doesn’t have to look like Justin Bieber or whoever either) who is interested in you, take your chance and have it with him.
You’ll be glad you did it and you’ll realise how unimportant it is in the grand scheme of things.

Grab All Association

I think I have may have just come up with the idea to solve this. Attached below. You’re welcome.


All seriousness though. You’re only 17. Think of this way. Would you let me or another guy on here put our saliva in your mouth tonight? That’s all you’d be doing to be fair, exchanging spit with some guy who more cares about the rocket in his pocket. Think how better it’ll be when you’re actually in love with a person instead. Your friends are bulls****$ or open their legs too easy

leggo

Lads you’re talking to a 17-year old girl about getting her first kiss. Stop talking about ‘keeping it up’, ‘rocket in his pocket’, girls opening their legs. Be appropriate or don’t post if you don’t know the line FFS.

LegacyUser

As so many above here have said, stop stressing about this, no lad will have a clue how experienced or inexperienced you are...and, if they’re about to get the shift, I doubt they’ll care!

I was the last of my mates to get a first kiss and thought it was the end of the world - I HAD to get a kiss by a certain age. I ended up kissing a guy (a guy who was “experienced”) and it was unpleasant to say the least. (I later realised HE was an awful kisser). Anyway, I had the monkey off my back and yay I got a kiss by X age. I say that because I now genuinely can not remember what age I was. I have about a 3yr window it could have been and damned if I can remember. It was significant at the time but really, it wasn’t!!

I was a late bloomer and blossomed in college. I was more confident in myself and enjoying my new found freedom - boys became a lesser concern and surprise, that’s when you find them!

Stop being so hard on yourself and please please stop believing every word the lads and lassies around you are saying. They are exaggerating so much.

shesty

OP, I can't tell you how many girls your age are thinking like you.Don't believe most of what you hear.Don't be so hard on yourself.Your world is relatively small right now.(I know it mightn't feel that way), it is only going to get bigger in the next few years.I don't know what your plans are, but go to college if you can.

I was in an all-girls school, and went into an almost all-male college course.Only then did I really realise how totally clueless teenage boys are.As for that nonsense about never getting anyone if you haven't by the age of 14....think about how silly that sounds for a second!You have a whole world opening up for you in the next few years, hopefully meeting loads of new people and you will look back on this and smile.And most likely wish you knew now, what you will know then.

Sarahdunners

Men will call you frigit:

To get you to do stuff with them, that you do not want to.

Only do stuff when YOU want to.

1hnr79jr65

tiktoktoegirl wrote: »

How screwed am I? Can’t even get a lad to shift me at this stage bc it’ll be awkward and he’ll be able to tell i’m a fridget and i’d look like such a loser. I’m prob going to be virgin for the rest of my life might as well become a nun later on

Firstly, "fridget" can't believe that term is still around today, that was being used when i started secondary school 24 years ago. It is as childish a word then as it is now and you are best off paying no heed to anyone who uses it.

You are only 17, there are many years left if your life and it is not the end of the world if you have not kissed a guy yet. Just because others in your circle, be them friends or acquaintances decide to have some sort of casual or more serious relationships, does not mean you have to or should. You need to be comfortable with yourself first, then worry about being with the right person, not the first person.

Sarahdunners

If you look at it properly,

What does fridget mean?

That you are "bad" because you haven't kissed one boy? Two boys? Three boys? Why is that bad?

It doesn't make any sense does it?

If you kiss boys, I can tell you at your age that they will then call you "fridget" because you don't let them touch you.

If you look at it properly - can you easily see that it is a word made up by boys - to push you into doing things. And also used by some girls just to bully other girls for not being as cool as them.

It is such a load of bollox.

Only do what you want to!

CPTM

I really wish I knew at age 17 just how inexperienced and terrible other people my age were at kissing and sex and all that. You're really not too different to anyone else your age, even those folk who seem to be kissing and doing all sorts every other day. They really haven't a clue what they're at and neither should they. There are plenty of guys and girls who are exactly like you and it's perfectly normal. Never feel alone in that. There are 100s of thousands of people exactly like you. I was one of them.

Faith

Cmod note: Thread locked for review.

Faith

CMod note: Okay, I have tidied up the thread and deleted a lot of posts. Posters are reminded to keep replies on-topic, helpful and directed to the OP. Also, if you suspect a poster isn't genuine, report it to the mods for them to check out - do not call a poster out on their thread.

Finally, as has been pointed out, the OP is a 17 year old girl asking about kissing someone for the first time. A lot of posters seemed to forget that, or be unaware of the meaning of the word "fridget" in this context. Keep that in mind with any further replies, please.

lawred2

tiktoktoegirl wrote: »

I’ve had lads say that they’d know straight away if a girls a fridget, and i’m scared I might do something wrong but that does make me feel a bit better

Braggarts who wouldn't have a clue. I would have been one of them. It's all a show. Inside they're as neurotic and scared as everyone else.

M5

Believe me, a lad of your couldn't care less if you have kissed anyone before. They'll be delighted they are getting the shift at all!

Lads of that age are full of bravado, probably 10% correlation between words and actions.

matthewmurdock

I cannot understand why you would think this is a bad thing.

Plenty of men including myself appreciate a woman being more reserved with sex - as in not having tons of one night stands and shifting like crazy in nightclubs etc. Call it old fashioned and I'm sure somebody will be along with some sort of slut shaming accusation against me shortly, as I don't think you can say things like that in 2020, but whatever. I'm sure there's an equal amount of men who like a woman with experience, but my point is that inexperience is nothing to be ashamed of, quite the opposite infact.

Don't be in any hurry. No need to put pressure on yourself.

blarb

God when I hear that word fridget again it makes me shudder. I was in a similar scenario OP. I didn't get my first shift til I was 18 and in college (and didn't have sex til a couple of years later)! I remember hearing talk about the stuff that allegedly went on for others in school and thinking god I'm so behind, but actually I just let them get on with it, and told myself it would happen for me when it happened.

It turned out I was in college before it did. I think the main thing is is to try and enjoy the kissing when it happens and not overthink it (although there's no guarantee HE'LL be a good kisser). Honestly nobody can tell if someone's been kissed before or not. And it takes 2 people to make a good kiss!

I learned all I know about shifting from films and TV and magazines! And honestly, the 2 boyfriends I have had said I'm a good kisser, so they were none the wiser about my late starting!

But please trust yourself and please please only do what you feel comfortable with!

Redser87

The word fridget takes me back too, and not in a good way... lads and girls of your age are so focused on fitting in with their peers that they will either do things that they are not comfortable with, or make up stories about kissing etc. to make themselves sound cooler than they really are. You seem like a very sweet girl and your first kiss will happen when it's right for you. If you don't want it yet, that's ok - wait until you're ready. True friends won't slag you about it and the lad will not know it's your first kiss unless you tell him. If you do want it, it can be helpful to be friends with the lad first. That way, you can laugh off the inevitable awkwardness that comes with kissing.
Trust me, this will no longer seem like a big problem when you're in college and you have a wider circle of friends with a variety of interests and life experiences. But for now, take care of yourself and only do what's right for you.