Living abroad, post-Christmas blues.

Frank Bullitt

As the title somewhat says, I live abroad and am currently home for Christmas.

I have been abroad for almost 7 years, and this is the first trip where I could actually see myself living and working in Ireland again properly.

I have a good life over in Vancouver, but lately I am seeing that city just get chronically more expensive. To give you an idea, there is a condo I can see out my window that is for sale for $37.5 million, beside my job a Bugatti and Koenigsegg dealership opened.

I live a fairly nice and comfy life there, have good job and earn good money, but the day to day life is getting more expensive. Put that along with the serious FOMO I get through seeing my folks and friends over social media, it puts me in an awful pit of terror that life is moving very very fast. I also lost a friend a month ago in a motorcycle accident, and I think that has sparked something inside me also.

I have a very bad lazy streak in me, but the past month has got me thinking that I really need to make moves to get on the path. I have bought a few books to get me thinking right, I have work to do about moving jobs (I work in tech) and getting my **** in order.

All of this really hammers on the bags of anxiety.

This was more of a rant than an ask for help, but thanks for reading.

Living abroad is great an awful at the same time.

strandroad

Hey OP, 7 years is a common milestone for people to start reviewing their decisions. It's enough time to get to know their new location or partner or profession properly, to learn about the good and the bad, and to be able to make informed choices to either stay or move on. Do you see yourself in Canada in 30 years? Do you want to get old there? Have you put down any roots, formed any essential relationships?

From your post it seems that it was always supposed to be a short term professional experience of living abroad so looks like you're on the right track to move on, it doesn't need to happen overnight as long as you are committed and confident that you are doing it for the right reasons (Ireland can be very expensive too, don't let it be the only driving force). Best of luck.

Graces7

My faith family are in BC and yes, life there is horrendously expensive. Basics like food are out of all proportion, We compare notes a lot and it is shocking compared to here. We work there with the rough sleeping homeless and very poor folk and it is endemic.

But Ireland is no bed of roses in so many aspects. Need care not to let a case of "grass is always greener" affect you too much.

Take time? You have set a foot on a road and that is good

shesty

Depends on where you see your future really OP.Is your salary commensurate with the cost of life there?Shouldn"t be a problem if so (and I don't mean 'can you afford a Bugatti' btw, I mean can you afford to live there!)As others have said Ireland isn't a bed of roses either.I guess if you never saw BC as a long term life for yourself then that's probably your answer.

We had friends living there for nearly ten years but the arrival of child no.2 drove them back this way, for family.support among other things.Obviously not a problem for you right now, but try not to get too anxious.Life changes, it's the making of the decision is the hardest part!

ldy4mxonucwsq6

Gintonious wrote: »

As the title somewhat says, I live abroad and am currently home for Christmas.

I have been abroad for almost 7 years, and this is the first trip where I could actually see myself living and working in Ireland again properly.

I have a good life over in Vancouver, but lately I am seeing that city just get chronically more expensive. To give you an idea, there is a condo I can see out my window that is for sale for $37.5 million, beside my job a Bugatti and Koenigsegg dealership opened.

I live a fairly nice and comfy life there, have good job and earn good money, but the day to day life is getting more expensive. Put that along with the serious FOMO I get through seeing my folks and friends over social media, it puts me in an awful pit of terror that life is moving very very fast. I also lost a friend a month ago in a motorcycle accident, and I think that has sparked something inside me also.

I have a very bad lazy streak in me, but the past month has got me thinking that I really need to make moves to get on the path. I have bought a few books to get me thinking right, I have work to do about moving jobs (I work in tech) and getting my **** in order.

All of this really hammers on the bags of anxiety.

This was more of a rant than an ask for help, but thanks for reading.

Living abroad is great an awful at the same time.

I think losing your friend plus the time of year has probably brought this all to a head. A lot of people have that moment as they get older where the penny drops that we aren't here forever and our dreams and plans aren't always realised.

This has pushed you to a place where you feel you have to decide between coming home or staying in your new home.

You don't have to decide now, nor in a year, nor in 10 years. Yes go ahead and self improve and do what makes you happy, don't pressurise yourself into making big life decisions if you aren't sure or ready.

PS..... What you see on social media is not real plus a lot of people would love to be in your predicament.

Charles Babbage

Graces7 wrote: »

My faith family are in BC and yes, life there is horrendously expensive. Basics like food are out of all proportion, We compare notes a lot and it is shocking compared to here. We work there with the rough sleeping homeless and very poor folk and it is endemic.

But Ireland is no bed of roses in so many aspects. Need care not to let a case of "grass is always greener" affect you too much.

Take time? You have set a foot on a road and that is good

Be careful to compare like with like. There are cities in Canada, perhaps less exciting places, where salaries and opportunities are only three quarters of Vancouver, but where house prices are half. Likewise in Ireland, central D2 is different from where Irish people actually live.

Frank Bullitt

strandroad wrote: »

Hey OP, 7 years is a common milestone for people to start reviewing their decisions. It's enough time to get to know their new location or partner or profession properly, to learn about the good and the bad, and to be able to make informed choices to either stay or move on. Do you see yourself in Canada in 30 years? Do you want to get old there? Have you put down any roots, formed any essential relationships?

From your post it seems that it was always supposed to be a short term professional experience of living abroad so looks like you're on the right track to move on, it doesn't need to happen overnight as long as you are committed and confident that you are doing it for the right reasons (Ireland can be very expensive too, don't let it be the only driving force). Best of luck.

Thanks for this.

I think you have hit the nail on the head a bit. BC isn t really forever, it can't be unless I open a casino in Macau and make billions. Even at that, Vancouver is massively transient, so people who you meet aren't from there, and always think or debate moving on, just like me.

I planned on moving there for a year, and fast forward I am there almost 7. Having said that, it is no way wasted time. My career has really taken off, and there are comparable opportunities now in Ireland and Europe.

Frank Bullitt

I head back to Vancouver tomorrow. Doing this for almost 7 years now, and I can tell you the last day in Ireland is always the worst...always.

LegacyUser

OP, a significant death can make you do a load of re-evaluating of your life. It happened to me when my mother died. I did a lot of thinking afterwards and it led to me moving home from abroad. So far I don’t regret moving back. I mostly liked living abroad but mum’s death made me see it all in a different light. My life abroad was nice enough but I never laid down roots deep enough to make me stay forever. As well as losing mum, I started to realise properly how important my family and wider community locally were to me. I will always be glad I lived abroad but long-term it was not for me. Maybe I always knew this but it took mum’s death to join the dots. Ireland isn’t perfect but it’s still home in a way nowhere else ever was.
My advice to you is to wait and see how you feel in a few months time. It might be post-Christmas blues or it could be you coming around to thinking it’s time you moved home. Don’t hide from those feelings and sweep them under the carpet. Own them and figure out what your gut seems to be telling you.

2ygb4cmqetsjhx

I live in Germany. Sometimes I think about coming home at Xmas too but not seriously. I get back to Ireland 4-5 times a year and see my parents when they visit one usually one or twice more. I know what you mean but the thoughts of returning to Ireland for me dont make sense.

holly8

Gintonious wrote: »

I head back to Vancouver tomorrow. Doing this for almost 7 years now, and I can tell you the last day in Ireland is always the worst...always.

that doesn't get any better .. I did it for 10 years!

strandroad

Gintonious wrote: »

I head back to Vancouver tomorrow. Doing this for almost 7 years now, and I can tell you the last day in Ireland is always the worst...always.

The last day of our Christmas break in Ireland is always the worst too... it's back to the daily grind then and you could feel it differently were you to stay and be subject to it! But if you're feeling it strongly OP it's a good time to start putting a plan in place. Have a good 2020 whichever way you decide.

Frank Bullitt

Thanks for all of the help lads!

Approaching this year with a new lease of life.

PoisonIvyBelle

I remember you posting something similar a few years ago. Maybe it would help to think back to your headspace then and what made you want to stay? One thing I'd say is this isn\t a good time of year to make decisions like that. I know it's the new year and all, but sny decisions you make are going to make emotionally charged because of that. I'd hold off a month or too, see how you feel, and give it a think again then.

Graces7

Charles Babbage wrote: »

Be careful to compare like with like. There are cities in Canada, perhaps less exciting places, where salaries and opportunities are only three quarters of Vancouver, but where house prices are half. Likewise in Ireland, central D2 is different from where Irish people actually live.

Of course.

But my family are scattered over BC and we rent and we would never ever live in Vancouver for cost reasons.

But basic foods etc are far higher than here across the board regardless of accommodation and rentals are high in all areas. Ireland is catching up though . We compare prices on the phone!

JustAThought

Gintonious wrote: »

Thanks for this.

I think you have hit the nail on the head a bit. BC isn t really forever, it can't be unless I open a casino in Macau and make billions. Even at that, Vancouver is massively transient, so people who you meet aren't from there, and always think or debate moving on, just like me.

I planned on moving there for a year, and fast forward I am there almost 7. Having said that, it is no way wasted time. My career has really taken off, and there are comparable opportunities now in Ireland and Europe.

Are there comparable languages you will be speaking daily and working in? in Europe ? Not being able to fluently participate in day to day banter can be very isolating even if the job is good and having the same pigeon english spoken at you month after month or being used as a english language teacher can really grind you down. I moved back to regain the friendships and reestablish ‘roots’ and buy a house and live somewhere specific but people move on, christmas friendships revert to work/commute/family/complain and the sparkle and energy of Christmas soon wears off in January when they have dinners at home with their families and cant be out on school nights.

You say 7 years sped by - maybe that was for a reason - that you were enjoying them! Here the quality of life in the city is arguably poor - high rents, poor amenities , long commutes and stealth taxes on everything - and rising. You pay the government almost 50% of what you earn every month when you factor in property tax, motor tax, car insurance, house insurance, bin tax and all the other stealth taxes they nail into people. After you pay rent you could be living on not a lot and be worrking all hours and have a punitive commute.

Im sure your friend dying so tragically has you thinking of family and friendships at home but Christmas is not a good baromoter of how it would be the rest of the year. Take it slow - be kind to yourself and find somethings to enjoy over there and ways to connect with your friends but don’t punish yourself emotionally for having a good life over there.This grass is not greener here.