family know everything about mental health now

afterglow

not even going to bother trying to go anon for this one
today, I was proper mean, and I mean proper mean, to both, of my mum's sister's
my mum, was really angry, it being too days before christmas etc
I completely broke down, think I cried 4 year's tears in an hour.
I told my mum&grandparents, because they were here, as I'm in their house atm, about everything
How I feel worthless, I've made a mess of everything, hopeless, suicidal, how I was afraid I wouldn't go to hospital again, and do something I shouldn't
how I couldn't tell my mum how I felt, because she was always angry
She apologised and says she wants to help
so going to start to address things properly after the holidays.
I've been in touch with pieta house today, i'll get first session sorted asap
I'm just wondering, has anyone else told their family all about their mental health, and how recovery went?
I feel like I've put a massive damper on christmas now, but I'm hoping not, now we've had a proper talk
I know this was the ' wrong time ' for this to come out, but I feel slightly less alone now knowing they know
I've been dealing with sciatica since before I came back to ireland from the UK, and my mood has been super low also, hence what happened today
I have felt I was in everyone's way, and that me being home, for good, is unfair and ridiculous for, and to everyone, and so I told my aunt, that I “ know ” she thinks I shouldn't be here. Yeah I know, a b**chy thing to say, and then my other aunt came in, and asked me what did I, do, and I just kinda lost it!
I feel awful, but its myself I hate and nothing to do with them, and I've explained this to them, not that this makes it right.
If anyone has experiences of recovering from being suicidal, I'd appreciate it I also told them about the fact I self harmed as well, which they never knew

triona1

Ive had my husband very ill with mental health and posted many times maybe a mod can post you over to proper forum but my first port of call would be a&e and seek help for you.

end of the road

hay op.
you did the right thing, you needed to get everything out in the open and tell your family. and you did, that is the first and a very big step, i hope you will get all help and support possible.
i really really wish you the best, you have had a hard time by the sounds of things. i hope things get better for you.

ILoveYourVibes

Sounds like progress even though you feel bad right now.

I bet your family are really proud of you ..you should be really proud too. You are very brave and its the right thing to do what you did and talk its not easy.

Lots of love ..xx Take care.

tara73

fair play to you, that was very very brave and at some stage it has to be said. I know this feeling of keeping things bottled up to the family, I still do because I know their reaction.
I really hope things will change and they will care more about you. But be prepared things might change at first, but then slip back into the old behaviour patterns. Not saying it will be like that, just think you need to be prepard to not get hurt too much.
I thik you need to remind yourself you did this for yourself, no matter what the others make of it.
Might not make sense what I'm writing to you, but meaning it in a good way.

marizpan

Posted in wrong thread.

afterglow

tara73 wrote: »

fair play to you, that was very very brave and at some stage it has to be said. I know this feeling of keeping things bottled up to the family, I still do because I know their reaction.
I really hope things will change and they will care more about you. But be prepared things might change at first, but then slip back into the old behaviour patterns. Not saying it will be like that, just think you need to be prepard to not get hurt too much.
I thik you need to remind yourself you did this for yourself, no matter what the others make of it.
Might not make sense what I'm writing to you, but meaning it in a good way.

hi @tara73
you were right
I ordered a japanese futon, just a mat, to sleep on, because I thought it would help my sciatica, and back going forward
I showed it to my parents, and said I ordered it, because I needed somewhere to sleep when I came home. The dispatch date wasn't for ages, well to say one of them went crazy is an understatement, and because they were shouting, I got upset.
Same one, said, I diagnosed myself with depression, that its all an act, to grow the f**k up, that ordering the mat without saying anything, was disrespectful, even though the reason I did it, was because, it could be roled away when not in use, nothing to do with wanting to disrespect anyone, or their house, nothing like that
A whole load more stuff came out then, that i never meant to
i just wanted to say, that you were right
the parent who went crazy, wasn't there the other day, but just because I said something they didn't like the other day, all of a sudden, I'm putting on an act, and turn on the waterworks when I know I'm in the wrong, or when people don't agree with my ideas
How in the name of all the fudge in cornwall will living with them work longterm? I have no idea. Also, as before, my sister chimed in and agreed with the parent, i just felt completely unsupported, and it was like the other day never happened
Its possible, that parent a, didn't tell parent b, what happened, but I never dreamed I'd be told I bring everything on myself, that I diagnosed myself with depression for something to do, to get my act together and stop taking the tablets, etc
Back in my grandparents now' so that's something.
I've made such a big mistake

Another day

You have not made a big mistake, you have taken the first all important step to recovery. If that is your parents attitude no wonder you kept it from them! Take the support offered, set yourself a challenge each day, a short walk, coffee with a friend, anything that gets you out and about. Pick up the phone when low and talk to one of the numerous helplines that are there for everyone in that situation.

Sciatica is in itself a depressant. Pain is debilitating, exhausting and will drag you down. Havd you sought professional help fir that also? If not please do it will aid your recovery.

Well done and breaking down the first barrier.

afterglow

Another day wrote: »

You have not made a big mistake, you have taken the first all important step to recovery. If that is your parents attitude no wonder you kept it from them! Take the support offered, set yourself a challenge each day, a short walk, coffee with a friend, anything that gets you out and about. Pick up the phone when low and talk to one of the numerous helplines that are there for everyone in that situation.

Sciatica is in itself a depressant. Pain is debilitating, exhausting and will drag you down. Havd you sought professional help fir that also? If not please do it will aid your recovery.

Well done and breaking down the first barrier.

yep on tablets and had neuromuscular therapy before christmas
I don't know where I wish i could be, but its certainly not here. I got told the only problem I have is that I can't see, but I create problems that aren't there
i wake up wondering what trouble/problems i can cause every day. They brought up, about how, when they were on holidays, years ago, I was calling them every day with some problems or something, I don't even remember
I have always felt like a massive disappointment, and stuff like this, invalidating my mental health difficulties, even saying that during what happened today, my sciatica wasn't a problem, is just horrible because it makes it sound like I'm just making everything up for attention
I super do___ not___ want to live with them now. I was always afraid that they wouldn't understand, and I was right
I felt disgusting still do, over something that happened when I was away, they think that's why I'm depressed, or should I say, why ' I diagnosed ' myself with depression, but that's part of it, not all
Its like everything I do, even having depression, and feeling suicidal, is ripe for cricism, everyone else, can do what they want. No questions asked
I appreciate your post, and will get in touch with pieta by text this evening again

LegacyUser

Afterglow, is staying with your grandparents long-term an option? They seem to be the only members of your family who have your best interests at heart. It isn't clear if you have discussed this with them. Do you know what their thoughts are on this? All I've seen in your thread are predictions about how your other relatives will behave. Park those thoughts for now. What are your grandparents willing to do to help you?

Your family's recent behaviour should tell you everything you need to know about where you stand with them. For reasons even they might not be able to explain, you're the black sheep of the family. You're the person who can do nothing right in their eyes. You could invent the cure for cancer, reverse climate change and figure out how to freeze tomatoes. You will never be good enough for them and they will continue to treat you with contempt. They are just looking for the next opportunity to put you down .I'm no psychologist but it would not surprise me if your family are at the root of your mental health problems. I strongly advise you to do anything you can to avoid living with your parents and sister. It will not end well for you and you will find yourself in the same position you are in now. The only difference being, you will feel even worse than you do now. They have told you who they are and it's time to listen.

afterglow

pink polka dots wrote: »

Afterglow, is staying with your grandparents long-term an option? They seem to be the only members of your family who have your best interests at heart. It isn't clear if you have discussed this with them. Do you know what their thoughts are on this? All I've seen in your thread are predictions about how your other relatives will behave. Park those thoughts for now. What are your grandparents willing to do to help you?

Your family's recent behaviour should tell you everything you need to know about where you stand with them. For reasons even they might not be able to explain, you're the black sheep of the family. You're the person who can do nothing right in their eyes. You could invent the cure for cancer, reverse climate change and figure out how to freeze tomatoes. You will never be good enough for them and they will continue to treat you with contempt. They are just looking for the next opportunity to put you down .I'm no psychologist but it would not surprise me if your family are at the root of your mental health problems. I strongly advise you to do anything you can to avoid living with your parents and sister. It will not end well for you and you will find yourself in the same position you are in now. The only difference being, you will feel even worse than you do now. They have told you who they are and it's time to listen.

Hi
I know that it would not be possible, because there would be a lot of angry relatives. And they have said it can't be a permanent thing
I'm on the look-out for someone to share with, i would give anything not to have to live with them, because honestly, I think you're right, 100 percent