Maintenance

LegacyUser

So myself and the wife separated about a year ago but are still in the same house. We have two young kids together. She wants the house and I inherited some money as my mother passed away during the year so I'll have enough to cover a deposit on a new house.

We have a draft agreement that she had the kids 4 days and I have them 3 days. Then we come to maintenance. Firstly, she’s on a good salary but I do earn about €30k basic more than her (up to €40k more if you factor in bonus).

I’ve agreed to pay my share of childcare worked out on a pro rata basis (I pay around 66%, she pays 33%). I’ve also agreed to put €250 a month on top of that to bring maintenance to €1,000 a month. She’s also getting the children’s allowance/benefit which I think is about €300 a month. I’ve said I’ll pay the childcare amount until such time as the kids no longer need childcare and then I’ll reduce maintenance to €250 per month. She’s objected saying there will be other expenses that I’ll have to cover (she hasn’t specified what these costs will be). She is insistent that she’ll be awarded a maintenance amount and will get that until my youngest is 18.

Morally, I feel she’s getting a good deal. It’s €550 a month between maintenance and child benefit and she’ll have the kids for 4-5 days more than me a month. My question is, what way does a judge court view it if it goes that far? My solicitor says that maintenance is to cover the cost of the kids and nothing else. However, anecdotally, you hear about men getting screwed in these situations. My question is for anyone that’s been through it – how do the courts/judges treat this stuff?

Widdensushi

How much is the childcare and is she paying that for your days as well as hers. On first impression 1280 a month is alot extra for 4 extra days, I think you will need to explain the childcare further though.

Millionaire only not

Mod-Removed.

AulWan

If your children are young, you are going to need childcare for a number of years yet. Also, childcare doesn't end with primary school, there are still the long summer holidays, school closures to cover, even for teens. They still have to be supervised.

My advice to you, is worry about that, then. Agree maintenance for the situation you are in right now, and then revisit it when circumstances change. I think the recommended time to review maintenance payments is around every two years.

For both your sakes, I would suggest mediating a maintenance agreement and having it formalised in court. This will make it much easier if either of you need to seek a variance in the future.

(eta) if she is talking about spousal maintenance - in the rare times its awarded, its usually for a spouse who is not working, and then only for a limited time, until they get back on their feet with a job. I can't see a judge awarding spousal maintenance in a case like yours.

LegacyUser

So childcare is around €1,200 a month. I'll pay the majority of that in line with my wages (i.e. I'll pay around 60% and she'll pay 40% because I earn 60% of our combined income and she earns 40%).

That works out at €750 for me. I'll pay an additional €250 per month to cover the cost of the kids for the additional 4-5 days she'll have them. She'll then get children's allowance on top of that.

I've no problem paying childcare for as long as they need it. However, my wife claims that if she's awarded €1,000 a month now, that'll stand until the time my youngest is 18 which is 15 years off at this stage.

I have tried the mediation route but she refused to go after the first session.