Letting spare out with child living in house

Stephen P

My wife is looking to rent out our spare (single) room. We are owner/occupier. We have a 4 year old girl. I'm hesitant for a number of reasons. I feel our privacy would be gone, we couldn't do what we do now i.e. walk from shower to bedroom with little or no clothes on. My daughter gets shy around strangers and I want her to feel comfortable in her own home. I couldn't have a male renter either, sad to say but wouldn't feel comfortable with a man renting the room.
My wife's reason to do it is to get extra cash in to pay some debts. The only thing holding me back is our daughter.

Can anyone offer advice? Have you ever been in this situation? Would a renter look to rent a room in a house with a child in it?

JustMe,K

Depending on where you are based, you might be able to get someone who needs to be in your location for work to rent a room Monday to Friday only, and they can head 'home' at the weekends.

Personally, I would not want to live in a house with a strangers small child, and I wouldn't want a stranger living with mine either, but if you have significant debts and need to shift them I can see a little of where your wife is coming from, which is why I would suggest a Monday to Friday renter.

Another thing to consider is personal space and bathrooms - do you have enough bathrooms that you can keep one for your family and allow your renter sole use of the other? Do you have a second living room or additional spare room your renter could use as a living room or would all be sharing the same spaces? I think the bathrooms would be a deal breaker for me - you cannot expect a 4 year old child not to be able to use the toilet because someone you are renting a room to (and therefore does not care about your childs needs like you do) has decided to have an hour long bath or shower.

Jurgen Klopp

Not only that but have ye considered if the renter wants to bring a friend/bf/gf around and want to get down and dirty?

I mean with a 4 year old in the house what would you both be expecting of the renter regards that? No friends or partners over etc? Something to think about.

I have seen many who get notions of "renting out a room" who don't think it through and wonder why the tenant fecks off when they get battered with numerous "rules"

Stephen P

JustMe,K wrote: »

Depending on where you are based, you might be able to get someone who needs to be in your location for work to rent a room Monday to Friday only, and they can head 'home' at the weekends.

Personally, I would not want to live in a house with a strangers small child, and I wouldn't want a stranger living with mine either, but if you have significant debts and need to shift them I can see a little of where your wife is coming from, which is why I would suggest a Monday to Friday renter.

Another thing to consider is personal space and bathrooms - do you have enough bathrooms that you can keep one for your family and allow your renter sole use of the other? Do you have a second living room or additional spare room your renter could use as a living room or would all be sharing the same spaces? I think the bathrooms would be a deal breaker for me - you cannot expect a 4 year old child not to be able to use the toilet because someone you are renting a room to (and therefore does not care about your childs needs like you do) has decided to have an hour long bath or shower.

I meant to say that it would be only Mon-Fri only. We have a family bathroom upstairs with shower and bath, and a toilet with sink downstairs, so the shower/bath would be shared between the whole house.
We don't have a second living room. I wouldn't like the idea of them sharing our living room but I couldn't expect them to spend all their time in their bedroom. My wife hasn't thought all this through :rolleyes:

Jurgen Klopp wrote: »

Not only that but have ye considered if the renter wants to bring a friend/bf/gf around and want to get down and dirty?

I mean with a 4 year old in the house what would you both be expecting of the renter regards that? No friends or partners over etc? Something to think about.

I have seen many who get notions of "renting out a room" who don't think it through and wonder why the tenant fecks off when they get battered with numerous "rules"

I would have to impose a rule of no guests. I'm totally against the idea. I don't think my wife has thought it through fully. It's a handy way to make a few bob but not without it's problems.

JustMe,K

Its defo not without its problems, you really need the right type of person for this to work and tbh I would say that person is a professional who is out the door in the morning at 7.30/8am, not back til 6.30pm and just wants to eat dinner, relax and go to bed. Even things like everyone wanting to use the shower at the same time in the morning, cooking meals and parking could be troublesome.

Although that said, with the right mix of people I am sure you could make it work.

Dial Hard

Depending on your location, a foreign language student is probably your best bet. Certain times of the year only, for a few weeks at a time, they'll be in their early teens themselves so won't be looking to bring boyfriends/girlfriends back and the schools organise evening activities for them most days so they won't be under your feet. Atlas Language School is probably the biggest in Dublin.

AlanG

As said above, loads of people do this with students, either foreign language or old style digs and those people tend to have young kids. Most people are pretty good and respectful and as a licensee they will have no rights so you can get rid of them easily. I have friends and relatives who rent out short term while they have young kids in the house and none have any problems that the tax free cash doesn't help them get over.

mariaalice

Student is your best bet over 18 they want to be out all the time doing toursity things change every couple of weeks, lots of people do it.

Samuel T. Cogley

Most people will stay in their rooms in my experience. That said we rent a double with TV etc.

dartboardio

Best bet is get a foreign student or Irish student in. I remember a friend I had used to have students from overseas stay with them for 6-9 months of the year, and they got paid to host, and feed them.

More than likely they'll end up being best friends with ye all and the child!

Stephen P

Stephen P wrote: »

. I couldn't have a male renter either, sad to say but wouldn't feel comfortable with a man renting the room.

I hate this bull sh1t, even worse coming from a man. Maybe you should not be allowed to live in the house with your daughter since you are a man.

JohnnyChimpo

Stephen P wrote: »

I would have to impose a rule of no guests. I'm totally against the idea. I don't think my wife has thought it through fully. It's a handy way to make a few bob but not without it's problems.

You're allowed guests even if you're staying in Mountjoy, let alone if you're a poor renter paying some ingrate's mortgage for him. I'd say leave it well alone if that's your attitude

JohnnyChimpo

JohnnyChimpo wrote: »

You're allowed guests even if you're staying in Mountjoy, let alone if you're a poor renter paying some ingrate's mortgage for him. I'd say leave it well alone if that's your attitude

In a rent a room scenario you can make any rule you want, the person has no rights.

JohnnyChimpo

Renee Nervous Gym wrote: »

In a rent a room scenario you can make any rule you want, the person has no rights.

You don't say...

I wasn't suggesting calling the guards, but there's a wide gulf between what's legally permissible and what's morally respectable that I'd like to think most people don't need explained to them

Fol20

JohnnyChimpo wrote: »

You don't say...

I wasn't suggesting calling the guards, but there's a wide gulf between what's legally permissible and what's morally respectable that I'd like to think most people don't need explained to them

Not sure why your bringing morality into this. If I was an owner and I had tight rules such as no guests, it’s the owners right to dictate this. As long as they tell the renter up front. I see no issue with this.

CelticRambler

Stephen P wrote: »

My daughter gets shy around strangers and I want her to feel comfortable in her own home. I couldn't have a male renter either, sad to say but wouldn't feel comfortable with a man renting the room.

Ah - isn't it great: 2020 just around the corner and any of us with a Y chromosome are sex offenders until proven innocent.

It sounds to me like your daughter's picking up on your "stranger danger" fears; best thing you could do (for the two of you) would be to accept that your wife is the one with the common sense and trust that she knows what she's doing.

There is a whole community of us out here in the real world (well, continental Europe at least) where it's perfectly normal to take a stranger into your home and survive to live the tale.

I had a young woman (literally half my age) stay for two nights at the weekend. Met her for the first time on Saturday morning when she was dropped off by someone she'd never met before who'd given her a lift to the end of my lane. Not a bother on her - quite happy to pick her dinner out of the garden, equally happy to come out dancing that night (where there were dozens of children from 4-14 hanging 'round the bar till 1:30am, not one of them swigging cans) ...

A guy I've never met before is bringing his three children to stay between Christmas and NY so he can visit his sister who lives up the road from me. I've no idea who she is either, but that doesn't change anything: he needs a cheap place to stay and I have a room to spare. I haven't told my sons yet because they won't care - ever since they were babies, they've understood that the world is full of other people, that some of them come into the house, and it's no big deal.

JohnnyChimpo

Fol20 wrote: »

Not sure why your bringing morality into this. If I was an owner and I had tight rules such as no guests, it’s the owners right to dictate this. As long as they tell the renter up front. I see no issue with this.

morality
/məˈralɪti/

noun
- principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behaviour.

- a particular system of values and principles of conduct.

when conduct is not constrained by legality it is necessarily constrained by morality. that shouldn't be confusing.

you might not see an issue with telling someone that they can't have visitors to their place of residence because they had the temerity of being unable to afford a mortgage. others would disagree. I do agree that being upfront from the get-go is, of course, preferable.

Mrs OBumble

Renee Nervous Gym wrote: »

I hate this bull sh1t, even worse coming from a man. Maybe you shouldNot be allowed to live in the house with uuut daughter since you are a man.

I certainly believe there should very strict vetting of any man who's sharing a domestic situation with any child other than his own.

And in the OPs situation, I would be taking only female lodgers.

RocketRaccoon

Maybe he's afraid of the wife being attracted to the man? It doesn't always have to be a worry about a child abuser.

Graham

Mod Note

JohnnyChimpo, quit the trolling.

Others, take the hypothetical child abuse discussion elsewhere.

Do not reply to this post on thread.

whiskeyman

Are you near any colleges?
Best bet is to offer 'digs' on a Monday to Friday bases.
You set the ground rules and go from there.
With rents crazy, I'm sure many good students would be crying out for a place to stay.

timetogo1

We're in a similar situation. We started renting in April this year and we've rented out to two ladies.

My daughter is a bit younger than yours and I had the same concerns but after our experience this year I'm happy to keep renting out forever.

1: type out your rules. I've a big list. I state everything that is obvious. Most are common sense but some people don't have common sense. Give these rules to anybody that looks at your room.

2: you have to change a bit yourself. No more, me walking around in my jocks and common areas should be kept tidier than before maybe. These were improvements for us. We've told our renters to use the sitting room but they rarely do. They're younger than us so they're either working or studying or out.

The demographic we've ended up with were two Spanish students during the summer and now two cabin crew. We're near enough to the airport. We barely see them. The cabin crew come and go at all hours so that's an adjustment. It doesn't bother us but it might bother others. Bear it in mind when you're talking to prospective tenants.

I'm not the most personable person in the world so I have to be friendlier. The two students loved our place and the crew have told my missis they're very happy.

We don't try to squeeze every drop of rent out of them. I think we charge a fair amount and include bills (with a caveat in the rules so they don't go mad with the heating). We also include stuff like milk, tea, fruit, breakfast cereals etc. It makes their life (and ours) easier and adds a tiny amount to our grocery shop.

It's made a huge difference to our finances for a not huge difference to our lifestyle.

My daughter is not too shy with people. She's normal enough. She gets on really well with the tenants. She can be noisy during the mornings so I made sure each tenant was aware of that when they initially visited. It hasn't changed her life too much I think. She's still the boss of the house and free to go everywhere except the girls rooms.

I have a rule of no guests staying overnight except in rare prearranged circumstances (E.g. Friend or family visiting from abroad for a day or two). I told them they can bring friends over during the day. Its worked out fine. If they take the piss you can have a chat.

Edit: in our case we have an ensuite in our bedroom. So we leave the main bathroom for the tenants and user it for bathing or daughter. One of the rules though is that they keep it tidy and don't let it overrun with products. So far if you were to go into it at any time it's been kept very clean so I've had no probs. I think putting everything in rules prior to letting out a room manages expectations on both sides. If somebody has a big problem with the rules they just won't rent it out. And if they have a big problem after renting it out it's not the same as a lease. It's much easier to tell them to move out.

maxsmum

Can I give a different perspective? My mum did this when I was small and I still remember the discomfort at having strangers in the house. I hated it. There was often ssshing for me to be quiet as the guests were home. We had to be dressed leaving our bedrooms etc all the time. We couldn't have friends over. I don't know how it would affect your child in your situation but I still remember it and hated it and my mum says now she regrets it, that money wasn't that tight. We discussed it recently in the context of me not wanting an au pair in the house for that reason and my mum agreed. So I am biased but I would never do it, family privacy and enjoyment of the home comes first.
Also, the bathroom situation - have you had relatives use the spare room - how did that work out with bathrooms? in our house when we had just one family bathroom it was a nightmare whenever anyone stayed and we all needed to get ready in the morning.

CelticRambler

maxsmum wrote: »

There was often ssshing for me to be quiet as the guests were home. We had to be dressed leaving our bedrooms etc all the time. We couldn't have friends over.

Yeah, that was your mother getting her priorities wrong. Timetogo1 has it right: tell prospective guests up front that it will be noisy and chaotic in the mornings, there will be 20 5-year-olds running amok every Saturday, there will be foot-crippling Lego pieces on the landing at least once a week (despite your best efforts to resolve the problem). Anyone who can't live with those caveats will find themselves somewhere else to stay.

Steer55

I wouldn't do it, not a hope, value my privacy too much. Maybe if one had a large home with ensuite bathroom, it might work but it sounds like your place is small with a shared bathroom. If you really need the extra cash, put it on airbnb and let it out to the odd guest.

CelticRambler

Steer55 wrote: »

If you really need the extra cash, put it on airbnb and let it out to the odd guest.

That's just daft - all the disadvantages of taking an unknown person into the house and none of the benefits, not to mention putting details of your family home up on the internet for the whole world to see!

randomrb

Steer55 wrote: »

If you really need the extra cash, put it on airbnb and let it out to the odd guest.

It might be a good idea to start with airbnb to see how the situation suites everyone, you can be much more selective with dates etc and you are not tied into any lease or rental agreement. If you find it goes well you could look at longer term options.

randomrb

randomrb wrote: »

It might be a good idea to start with airbnb to see how the situation suites everyone, you can be much more selective with dates etc and you are not tied into any lease or rental agreement. If you find it goes well you could look at longer term options.

They would not be tied to a lease or rental agreement regardless in a rent a room scheme setup.