Christmas party

boetstark

Happy Christmas everyone
I am looking for some quick advice whether I should attend my staff Xmas party. I have said I can't make the meal but perhaps drinks after. I was anxious about not being included at a dinner table with people I know.
Work colleagues are polite and will talk but for some reason I am never included in things.
Eg when I turn from my desk they all have left for breakfast, they all went out socially last weekend and I was left out. Never invited into fantasy football group plus many other occasions.
I am a friendly person by nature but not pushy.
I come from a different background and religion to the rest of the group, that is the only reason I can think of for my feeling left out.
Should I go for drinks and give it a go or stay home and avoid possibility of feeling excluded again.
Sorry fot appearing too sensitive but unsure which way to go.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Should I go for drinks and give it a go or stay home and avoid possibility of feeling excluded again.

Go, you may get on fine. Staying away leaves you excluded anyway, nothing to lose.

happyoutscan

Pop along, leave when it suits you.

SCOOP 64

My first reaction was to say don't bother going if they treat you like that, then i thought again ,go along and have few drinks they might be more open with a few drinks in them, it might be a good chance to break the ice.

Widdershins

You're not being too sensitive. We all need to feel welcome and be respected. If you have any interest in the party then go to it. You could chat to people you wouldn't normally see much of and they might be easier to get on with.

Leg End Reject

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

My first reaction was to say don't bother going if they treat you like that, then i thought again ,go along and have few drinks they might be more open with a few drinks in them, it might be a good chance to break the ice.

This. For all our celebrated friendliness it can take time to be accepted into the fold. Go and be yourself, they might relax and see you're all really the same. You can always leave early if you're uncomfortable.

Tippsman

Swamp a litre of whiskey, go to venue by the time you get there you'll be flutered, tell them all they're kunts, piss on all of them, than destroy everything by fire, it's the Irish way.

boetstark

Yeah I'm going to go for it. Thanks for all the kind advice.

boetstark

Morning after Xmas party.
Accept the fact that some people are a closed shop.
Sat chatted and went to bar and got a round of drink for colleagues.
Came back from the toilet and table was empty, all had moved to the bar. I went out and joined them and a round of drink was being ordered and guess who was excluded from drinks 😩😩
Ah well gave it ago, people are under no obligation to like others but manners are a basic trait.
Thanks all for sound advice and happy and blessed Christmas to you and yours.
ðŸ‘

Peatys

boetstark wrote: »

Happy Christmas everyone
I am looking for some quick advice whether I should attend my staff Xmas party. I have said I can't make the meal but perhaps drinks after. I was anxious about not being included at a dinner table with people I know.
Work colleagues are polite and will talk but for some reason I am never included in things.
Eg when I turn from my desk they all have left for breakfast, they all went out socially last weekend and I was left out. Never invited into fantasy football group plus many other occasions.
I am a friendly person by nature but not pushy.
I come from a different background and religion to the rest of the group, that is the only reason I can think of for my feeling left out.
Should I go for drinks and give it a go or stay home and avoid possibility of feeling excluded again.
Sorry fot appearing too sensitive but unsure which way to go.

What have you ever included them in? Why do you wait till they're all gone before deciding you want breakfast?
Monday, ten minutes before your usual set in stone routine, ask them if they'd like to go for a cup of tea.

Princess Calla

boetstark wrote: »

Morning after Xmas party.
Accept the fact that some people are a closed shop.
Sat chatted and went to bar and got a round of drink for colleagues.
Came back from the toilet and table was empty, all had moved to the bar. I went out and joined them and a round of drink was being ordered and guess who was excluded from drinks 😩😩
Ah well gave it ago, people are under no obligation to like others but manners are a basic trait.
Thanks all for sound advice and happy and blessed Christmas to you and yours.
ðŸ‘

Some people are a$$holes.

If you can change jobs do....life is too short.

You come across as a nice person, move on and forget them

pgj2015

your post reminds me of this.

Rub a Dub

Only one thing left to do then...
Swamp a litre of whiskey, go into work in the morning, by the time you get there you'll be flutered, tell them all they're kunts, piss on all of them, then destroy everything by fire, it's the Irish way.


Seriously though, you tried. They don't want to know.
At least you know for definite where you stand with these people. I'd like to hear the other side of the story.

pgj2015

your post reminds me of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLDyugzWk1s&list=PLPf6bUqN1Brt7YUifE52IEJV4l553NZ1v&index=8

Princess Calla

Peatys wrote: »

What have you ever included them in? Why do you wait till they're all gone before deciding you want breakfast?
Monday, ten minutes before your usual set in stone routine, ask them if they'd like to go for a cup of tea.

I can see the point your making as something similar happened in our place. We would all go to lunch around the same time everyday. One person never joined us. We worked flexi time so most of us only took 30-40 mins lunch.

Without fail every day the other person would rock down as everyone finished their lunch and we'd be getting ready to return to work. On the surface it looked like we were mean to the person we really weren't, they were more than welcome to join us at the time we went at. It was their choice not to. The same way it was our choice to return to work as they sat down. Now there were days when one or two would remain and have a chat with them. It was nothing really to do with the person and alot more to do with finishing work early and missing traffic.

I get the feeling this isn't the same type of situation.

boetstark

Princess Calla wrote: »

I can see the point your making as something similar happened in our place. We would all go to lunch around the same time everyday. One person never joined us. We worked flexi time so most of us only took 30-40 mins lunch.

Without fail every day the other person would rock down as everyone finished their lunch and we'd be getting ready to return to work. On the surface it looked like we were mean to the person we really weren't, they were more than welcome to join us at the time we went at. It was their choice not to. The same way it was our choice to return to work as they sat down. Now there were days when one or two would remain and have a chat with them. It was nothing really to do with the person and alot more to do with finishing work early and missing traffic.

I get the feeling this isn't the same type of situation.

Absolutely, my desk is facing opposite direction to a lot of these people so short of looking over my shoulder constantly. As I said I gave it a go, I just find that the reputation of Irish people being so welcoming as false in my opinion.
I was included in a take away order from McDonald's previously. Once again never advised food had arrived and left my order on table for 20 minutes going cold.
Anyway I'm coming across a whinger. I know where I stand but that's fine with me. I won't be leaving a 100k per year job because of rudeness

anewme

boetstark wrote: »

Absolutely, my desk is facing opposite direction to a lot of these people so short of looking over my shoulder constantly. As I said I gave it a go, I just find that the reputation of Irish people being so welcoming as false in my opinion.
I was included in a take away order from McDonald's previously. Once again never advised food had arrived and left my order on table for 20 minutes going cold.
Anyway I'm coming across a whinger. I know where I stand but that's fine with me. I won't be leaving a 100k per year job because of rudeness

I was initially absolutely fuming for you reading your update this morning OP, but then decided they were not worth it.

I di think that most Irish people are welcoming, this is just a bad "clique".

I wouldn't try again with them. Just good morning and good evening. I wouldn't leave a good job either. Just make sure you ve enough going on outside work to allow you a social network.

Bob Harris

I'd say you're trolling tbh.

Happy4all

boetstark wrote: »

Absolutely, my desk is facing opposite direction to a lot of these people so short of looking over my shoulder constantly. As I said I gave it a go, I just find that the reputation of Irish people being so welcoming as false in my opinion.
I was included in a take away order from McDonald's previously. Once again never advised food had arrived and left my order on table for 20 minutes going cold.
Anyway I'm coming across a whinger. I know where I stand but that's fine with me. I won't be leaving a 100k per year job because of rudeness

I sense this is an embarrassing wind up, which is sadder than the story.

IAMAMORON

boetstark wrote: »

Happy Christmas everyone
I am looking for some quick advice whether I should attend my staff Xmas party. I have said I can't make the meal but perhaps drinks after. I was anxious about not being included at a dinner table with people I know.
Work colleagues are polite and will talk but for some reason I am never included in things.
Eg when I turn from my desk they all have left for breakfast, they all went out socially last weekend and I was left out. Never invited into fantasy football group plus many other occasions.
I am a friendly person by nature but not pushy.
I come from a different background and religion to the rest of the group, that is the only reason I can think of for my feeling left out.
Should I go for drinks and give it a go or stay home and avoid possibility of feeling excluded again.
Sorry fot appearing too sensitive but unsure which way to go.

if you think that they are snubbing you because of this I would be massively offended. You should never feel isolated or different to anybody based on your religious beliefs and your background. I don't care if you are a satanic witch worshipper who says their prayers backwords, you are entitled to your beliefs, do not forget that.

They sound like a crowd of cliquey chunts, deliberately avoiding you. Their behaviour is not fair and they should be ashamed of themselves.

One last thing, it may not be your background or religion that is the issue here. Cliques can simply develop in workplaces, particularly small ones. All it takes is one shít for brains in the clique to take a dislike to you and that is it.

Don't let it get to you, do your job and stay as friendly as possible. Their rudeness to you will be their loss in the long run.

Bob Harris

Bob Harris wrote: »

I'd say you're trolling tbh.

This ****ing crap has to stop. Every bloody thread now there’s some knowall dropping their oar in about it being made up or trolling. Maybe some are and some aren’t but it’s getting to the stage where there’s no point in anyone posting anything.

anewme

IAMAMORON wrote: »

One last thing, it may not be your background or religion that is the issue here. Cliques can simply develop in workplaces, particularly small ones. All it takes is one shít for brains in the clique to take a dislike to you and that is it.

This sums it up for me. Particularly if the King or Queen of the clique does not like you.

And im not sure why people think it's made up. Anyone who works in an office would know it's a perfectly plausible scenario.

zapper55

OP your McDonalds story is probably a great indicator of the problem. They included you, you didn't bother keeping an eye out for it arriving (did you offer to go for it even?) and very passively ate cold food.

I'd imagine the others were sitting round chatting waiting for it to arrive, while you went back to your desk, assuming you'd get an announcement of your food arriving? If I was them I would have thought janey if he/she can't make the effort why bother.

As for the bar example, join the group that moved, order a drink, ask if anyone wants one and join in the conversation. I think your expectations are far too high for how much effort people should make for you. Make some effort yourself.

Bob Harris

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

This ****ing crap has to stop. Every bloody thread now there’s some knowall dropping their oar in about it being made up or trolling. Maybe some are and some aren’t but it’s getting to the stage where there’s no point in anyone posting anything.

Ok Reg, they went to a pub, told colleagues they were buying a round, asked what were they drinking, ordered the round and came back (from the toilet for some reason) to find they were gone. Pure fantasy.

The McDonalds story? More fantasy.

The 100k salary..more fantasy.

I have some magic beans Reg, do you want to buy them?

Bob Harris

Bob Harris wrote: »

Ok Reg, they went to a pub, told colleagues they were buying a round, asked what were they drinking, ordered the round and came back (from the toilet for some reason) to find they were gone. Pure fantasy.

The McDonalds story? More fantasy.

The 100k salary..more fantasy.

I have some magic beans Reg, do you want to buy them?

Like I said, it might and it might not. But the troll posts are akin to some wanker posting “1st” in YouTube comments at this stage.

IAMAMORON

boetstark wrote: »

Absolutely, my desk is facing opposite direction to a lot of these people so short of looking over my shoulder constantly. As I said I gave it a go, I just find that the reputation of Irish people being so welcoming as false in my opinion.
I was included in a take away order from McDonald's previously. Once again never advised food had arrived and left my order on table for 20 minutes going cold.
Anyway I'm coming across a whinger. I know where I stand but that's fine with me. I won't be leaving a 100k per year job because of rudeness

In fairness that one is on you op.

What type of Mickey D's do you like?

Bob Harris

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

Like I said, it might and it might not. But the troll posts are akin to some wanker posting “1st” in YouTube comments at this stage.

Just trying to save the time of gullible types Reg.

So, are you interested in those beans or not?

Bob Harris

Bob Harris wrote: »

Just trying to save the time of gullible types Reg.

So, are you interested in those beans or not?

Less annoying to let them make up their own minds possibly.

ReginaldSmythV

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

Like I said, it might and it might not. But the troll posts are akin to some wanker posting “1st” in YouTube comments at this stage.

Bob is trolling I think here.

Anyone who works in an office knows this stuff goes on.

3 people have left my office in the last 2 years because the 'mean girls' clique targeted them for whispering campaigns, bad mouthing and exclusion.

Offices can be a cesspit particularly if the same people have been in them for years.

up for anything

OP, given your attitude towards Ireland and the Irish I'm not surprised your colleagues leave you out of things. You have a whole bag of chips with extra salt and vinegar on your shoulder.

boetstark

I think this discussion has ran its course. For Bob it's fine if you think I am fantasy, I know I'm not and I'm fine with that. I think you maybe troll.
Thanks again for all the genuine advice colleagues I think are not bad people but what we would refer to as hout koppe.

Edgware

Bob Harris wrote: »

Just trying to save the time of gullible types Reg.

So, are you interested in those beans or not?

I will swop a house made of straw for them

boetstark

boetstark wrote: »

I think this discussion has ran its course. For Bob it's fine if you think I am fantasy, I know I'm not and I'm fine with that. I think you maybe troll.
Thanks again for all the genuine advice colleagues I think are not bad people but what we would refer to as hout koppe.

Wood head

un5byh7sqpd2x0

This wasn't Stryker in Cork by any chance?

jamesbere

Myla Mushy Watch wrote: »

This wasn't Stryker in Cork by any chance?

An interesting event by all accounts

Meeoow

Myla Mushy Watch wrote: »

This wasn't Stryker in Cork by any chance?

Tell us more please?

Cherry_Cola

Bob Harris wrote: »

Ok Reg, they went to a pub, told colleagues they were buying a round, asked what were they drinking, ordered the round and came back (from the toilet for some reason) to find they were gone. Pure fantasy.

The McDonalds story? More fantasy.

The 100k salary..more fantasy.

I have some magic beans Reg, do you want to buy them?

Sounds like Bob is jealous of the 100k a year salary :P

jamesbere

Meeoow wrote: »

Tell us more please?

Apparently some people got very frisky.

skallywag

jamesbere wrote: »

Apparently some people got very frisky.

That is putting it quite mildly! Have heard the stories from multiple sources, it would be pretty hard even to make this stuff up. Seems a fair few of them fired.

I am quite sure they will now receive quite a few CVs for the open positions :pac:

I sent in a CV as soon as I seen screenshots of the WhatsApp.

Badly Drunk Boy

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

I sent in a CV as soon as I seen screenshots of the WhatsApp.

Well, they're taking people on at the moment...