Am I being treated like an option?

LegacyUser

Hi all, I would really appreciate some feedback/an objective opinion.

A guy in my friend group and I were at a party recently, we danced, he was behind me and kissed me on the head- he had never done anything like this before. The next day, with everyone catching up about the party, he said that he remembered everything about that night.
I got the courage to send a flirty-ish text which he ignored for over a week.

He got back to me eventually but I learnt that the day before he replied to my text he text a mutual friend of ours out of the blue. She was surprised by the text as they had never texted before, they don't really know each-other very long and they wouldn't have interacted much at all previously.

Am I wrong in thinking he is acting like I'm an option and he is trying to check out a better option first?

lunamoon

He kissed you on the back of the head, he didn't propose to you.

I think you're reading way too much into this.

bitofabind

He didn't reply to you for over a week. There's no tangible reason for you to think he's interested.

Mortelaro

You like him obviously, but you've made a wrong move in the chase
He may have kissed several necks in a drunken dancy touch feeling xmas party type of way
The best advice I can give you now is to ACT normal
Talk to the lad now and again and when you know him in a non work sort of way after a while,you can joke about your flirty text/email saying the offers still on the table
You must completely disconnect yourself from hoping anything will happen
Great if it does but otherwise move on
6 week timeline for this ,then move on if no joy

skallywag

OP, I do not mean this in a nasty way, but you seriously need to get a grip! A kiss on the back of the head is pretty meaningless between friends, I would have done this plenty of times to female friends when we were out and spirits were high. Could even have kissed them on the cheek, etc.

I really would not take this as sign that he was into you at all, not in my opinion anyway. I would not even go so far as to think that he even sees you as an option.

skallywag

Mortelaro wrote: »

6 week timeline for this ,then move on if no joy

Set a '6 week timeline'?

Are you serious?

Mortelaro

skallywag wrote: »

Set a '6 week timeline'?

Are you serious?

Of course! It would work better than 6 minutes and healthier than 6 months pining

skallywag

Mortelaro wrote: »

Of course! It would work better than 6 minutes and healthier than 6 months pining

Fair enough.

How did you come to the 6 weeks though? As opposed to, say, 4 or 8? Serious question by the way!

Mortelaro

skallywag wrote: »

Fair enough.

How did you come to the 6 weeks though? As opposed to, say, 4 or 8? Serious question by the way!

Well I'd be hoping it would be enough time for the Op to come to a conclusion
My advice is coming from the angle of looking for a way for her to have a happy outcome which could be,yeah he decides this girl is worth a shot, even if he wasn't thinking that before if you follow?
That's always worth a shot
But she needs to have a sharp cut off to move on if nothings doing,,because it seems she likes him
Moving on,not dwelling is the 2nd happy outcome, experience learned without too much grief
/just my view

lunamoon

Mortelaro wrote: »

Well I'd be hoping it would be enough time for the Op to come to a conclusion
My advice is coming from the angle of looking for a way for her to have a happy outcome which could be,yeah he decides this girl is worth a shot, even if he wasn't thinking that before if you follow?
That's always worth a shot
But she needs to have a sharp cut off to move on if nothings doing,,because it seems she likes him
Moving on,not dwelling is the 2nd happy outcome, experience learned without too much grief
/just my view

He didn’t reply to her for nearly a week. That’s a clear enough sign. Wasting anymore of her time on him is pointless.

Idle Passerby

I don't think your even on this guy's radar OP.

lunamoon

lunamoon wrote: »

He didn’t reply to her for nearly a week. That’s a clear enough sign. Wasting anymore of her time on him is pointless.

As a man, if a girl i like texts me, i text back as quickly as possible even if I'm busy. If a girl friend texts me when I'm busy, I'll get back when I've time. The only texts I leave a week to reply to is my dead beat cousin or the revenue.

He doesn't sound interested.