Online dating

Jane7939

Y

He is.

Jane7939

Why tho?

John Hutton

You went away with him.and you ditched him to talk to others (presumably men but it doesn't really matter) at the bar leaving him by himself. And you got drunk. The poor guy.

I'd dump you too... Off a cliff.

I'm surprised that you are surprised. It's all perfectly obvious

Plumbthedepths

You go away for a night together, you drink too much and disappear chatting up other people leaving him searching for you. Have to be honest, he's right to end it. You clearly have no respect for him.

Purple Mountain

Because like you say, you were 300 miles away from home, he knew noone else.
You left him sitting like a lemon on his own for an hour which was not only disrespectful to him but also he didn't know where you were gone. I'm sure you put him through the torture of a) thinking you did a runner or b) something bad had happened to you.
He was a patient man to wait the hour for you.

Jane7939

Y

Heres Johnny

Ah I wouldn't be so hard on OP, bit of a silly thing to do but I wouldn't dump anyone just for doing that, there was drink involved. If he gives it another shot he will be looking for patterns of behaviour though, if it was a regular occurrence I'd be out the gap but not for a one off. Did you get on well afterwards that night?

gifted

He's dead right...you left him for an hour while you chatted to people..( was it people or other blokes?)....he was there on his own, it was your first night away and you thought nothing of leaving him alone, God knows what you would be like further into the relationship. Grow up and start thinking of how you treat other people. And quit drinking.

I know what he went through because I was that man once.

mordeith

Heres Johnny wrote: »

Ah I wouldn't be so hard on OP, bit of a silly thing to do but I wouldn't dump anyone just for doing that, there was drink involved. If he gives it another shot he will be looking for patterns of behaviour though, if it was a regular occurrence I'd be out the gap but not for a one off. Did you get on well afterwards that night?

OP said he makes a great effort to meet and text etc. From his point of view on the night away she can't even make the effort to stay at the same table.

Jane7939

K

GarIT

Heres Johnny wrote: »

Did you get on well afterwards that night?

Does it matter? He is out and sin é.

Heres Johnny

Jane7939 wrote: »

I'm not a big drinker at all I am just very sociable and chatty and I didnt realise I was away from him so long that night as I was in conversation after he was very distant and said he cant forget it I promised I'd never drink in his company again as I'd never want to do that again

I wouldn't go making promises like that, makes you sound a bit needy any desperate. Are you really going to have a relationship and never have a drink together?
He's angry and he has a point, was this just the weekend gone? It's still raw I wouldn't think it's done and dusted just yet if it just happened

Plumbthedepths

Heres Johnny wrote: »

Ah I wouldn't be so hard on OP, bit of a silly thing to do but I wouldn't dump anyone just for doing that, there was drink involved. If he gives it another shot he will be looking for patterns of behaviour though, if it was a regular occurrence I'd be out the gap but not for a one off. Did you get on well afterwards that night?

Honest question, their first time away together and she disappears to chat with strangers, blaming alcohol for her behaviour. You don't see an issue?

Jane7939

J

Jane7939

I'm not blaming alcohol I do admit I dod wrong

Heres Johnny

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Honest question, their first time away together and she disappears to chat with strangers, blaming alcohol for her behaviour. You don't see an issue?

I do see the issue but if everyone dumped someone for a one off mistake when things going well there'd be a lot of singletons for life. You can always learn from mistakes and make up with people. Repeat performances would make me head for the hills though

Jane7939

There was

Plumbthedepths

Jane7939 wrote: »

I'm not blaming alcohol I do admit I dod wrong

Your first post asked who was right and who was wrong, it's good you have realised it was yourself in the wrong. All you can hope for is he may forgive you and want to try again. You don't need to become a teetotaler just show some respect. Good luck.

lawred2

Sounds like he has a healthy sense of self respect.

Good for him for not accepting low standards

GarIT

Heres Johnny wrote: »

I do see the issue but if everyone dumped someone for a one off mistake when things going well there'd be a lot of singletons for life.

It's up to him to choose his limit. Telling him he is wrong isn't going to change anything.

Addle

Misleading thread title.

Jane7939

Jane7939 wrote: »

There was no harm in my intentions I just was away longer then I thought the pub was tiny I assumed he seen where I was but obviously he didnt

Your first night away with each other & you were more interested in chatting with strangers then him.
He was dead right.

Heres Johnny

GarIT wrote: »

It's up to him to choose his limit. Telling him he is wrong isn't going to change anything.

I don't think he's wrong but I bet this relationship has not run its full course just yet

Porklife

bubblypop wrote: »

Your first night away with each other & you were more interested in chatting with strangers then him.
He was dead right.

I think everyone is being really harsh on the girl. Have you ever been a bit drunk in a bar and get chatting to random strangers having a bit of fun and time escapes you. Sometimes you just don't realise it. She didn't set out to be disrespectful, she apologised and admitted she did a stupid thing and has resolved not to do it again. What more can she do! The guys is clearly not that interested if he's ending it over a once off minor incident. If you really liked somebody you would give them a second chance... not a third but a second for sure.

Chin up OP, he may come around but if he doesn't then just move on. You mightn't be compatible if that's the level of attention he requires and if he considers something so small to be a dealbreaker.

Emme

Heres Johnny wrote: »

I do see the issue but if everyone dumped someone for a one off mistake when things going well there'd be a lot of singletons for life. You can always learn from mistakes and make up with people. Repeat performances would make me head for the hills though

There ARE a lot of singletons for life and most of them are women.

People have more choice than ever now, particularly guys. They have no qualms about dumping a woman for a one off mistake and walking off into the sunset to the next woman.

Most on and don't drink as much in future.

Porklife

Porklife wrote: »

I think everyone is being really harsh on the girl. Have you ever been a bit drunk in a bar and get chatting to random strangers having a bit of fun and time escapes you. Sometimes you just don't realise it. She didn't set out to be disrespectful, she apologised and admitted she did a stupid thing and has resolved not to do it again. What more can she do! The guys is clearly not that interested if he's ending it over a once off minor incident. If you really liked somebody you would give them a second chance... not a third but a second for sure.

Chin up OP, he may come around but if he doesn't then just move on. You mightn't be compatible if that's the level of attention he requires and if he considers something so small to be a dealbreaker.

No, not when I am away for the first time with someone I am mad about, I can assure you I would be all over him.
It's not even the disrespect she showed him, leaving him alone, but the fact that she preferred to speak with others.
It really doesn't say much for what she thinks of him.

Porklife

She said she doesn't drink often so maybe the booze just went to her head and she got a bit carried away talking to randomers in the pub. I really don't think it's as bad as people are making out.