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Example of times when a friend has let you down

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  • 18-11-2019 5:27pm
    #1
    v638sg7k1a92bx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,913 ✭✭✭


    Long time friend has new gf less than a year but more than six months. His bday party comes up and he arranges paint balling and out for drinks afterwards. After paintball, we go home shower, change etc and go to the pub where he's arranged to meet. I arrive with one other person and a text is sent around that he's decided to go out with his gf and her friends instead. Is it me or is does anyone else think that that is a complete dick thing to do regardless or whether you have a gf or not?

    Do you have any similar stories?


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    #2
    saintsaltynuts
    Registered Users Posts: 1,107 ✭✭✭saintsaltynuts


    Anika Uneven Hornet wrote: »
    Long time friend has new gf less than a year but more than six months. His bday party comes up and he arranges paint balling and out for drinks afterwards. After paintball, we go home shower, change etc and go to the pub where he's arranged to meet. I arrive with one other person and a text is sent around that he's decided to go out with his gf and her friends instead. Is it me or is does anyone else think that that is a complete dick thing to do regardless or whether you have a gf or not?

    Do you have any similar stories?

    F@ ck him.


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    #3
    Keyzer
    Registered Users Posts: 4,331 ✭✭✭Keyzer


    K-nob


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    #4
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    Did he give any excuse or apology?
    Was his gf invited to the birthday party drinks after paintball?

    I think there's more to this story.

    What's he been like as a friend in general?


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    #5
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,248 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Paintball his gaff.


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    #6
    ancapailldorcha
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 37,659 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    Anika Uneven Hornet wrote: »
    Long time friend has new gf less than a year but more than six months. His bday party comes up and he arranges paint balling and out for drinks afterwards. After paintball, we go home shower, change etc and go to the pub where he's arranged to meet. I arrive with one other person and a text is sent around that he's decided to go out with his gf and her friends instead. Is it me or is does anyone else think that that is a complete dick thing to do regardless or whether you have a gf or not?

    Do you have any similar stories?

    That's a seriously inconsiderate and disrespectful thing to do. I wouldn't bother with that person any more unless you get an apology and a good explanation for this.

    We sat again for an hour and a half discussing maps and figures and always getting back to that most damnable creation of the perverted ingenuity of man - the County of Tyrone.

    H. H. Asquith



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    #7
    v638sg7k1a92bx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,913 ✭✭✭v638sg7k1a92bx


    whiskeyman wrote: »
    Did he give any excuse or apology?
    Was his gf invited to the birthday party drinks after paintball?

    I think there's more to this story.

    What's he been like as a friend in general?

    Yes his gf was invited, he organised the whole thing.

    Not really that much more to it, he organised and invited friends to his birthday, showed up for the first half, bailed on the second.

    No excuse or apology just a WA that he’s was going to his gf friends house where there was another party.


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    #8
    beertons
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 23,069 ✭✭✭✭beertons


    endacl wrote: »
    Paintball his gaff.

    We'd have paintballed the gf.


    As my friends get older, they're around less too. I suppose their kids have gotten older too, and have more stuff on. Sure what can ya do.

    We used to have a great Christmas session, meet at 6 the Saturday before, and drink. Leave no man behind, and keep going. WE had to cancel the year before last as no one could make it. The text wasn't sent last year for it. We're still friends, sure so what. If there's an emergency, they'll be there.


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    #9
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    beertons wrote: »
    We'd have paintballed the gf.


    As my friends get older, they're around less too. I suppose their kids have gotten older too, and have more stuff on. Sure what can ya do.

    We used to have a great Christmas session, meet at 6 the Saturday before, and drink. Leave no man behind, and keep going. WE had to cancel the year before last as no one could make it. The text wasn't sent last year for it. We're still friends, sure so what. If there's an emergency, they'll be there.


    I don't buy this.

    You can be sure all the girls will have their Christmas date in the calendar and will go along.

    I know kids etc... can come in the way, but blokes need to get better to ensure they keep in touch with mates.
    Especially at Christmas... at least once a year have a blow out lads!


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    #10
    H3llR4iser
    Registered Users Posts: 4,027 ✭✭✭H3llR4iser


    Less than a year and he's already basically deleting his "life before the girlfriend". She has basically controlled him with a text message and maybe a promise of sex. It's not that uncommon in dudes.

    He should know better for sure, but maybe a bit of a chat from you and the other friends making it clear what he is doing is "not great", not only towards his long term friends but also in a future perspective, might be a good idea.

    If this situation had the genders reversed, people would be screaming about abusive relationships and to get the police involved, just sayin'.


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    #11
    v638sg7k1a92bx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,913 ✭✭✭v638sg7k1a92bx


    H3llR4iser wrote: »
    Less than a year and he's already basically deleting his "life before the girlfriend". She has basically controlled him with a text message and maybe a promise of sex. It's not that uncommon in dudes.

    He should know better for sure, but maybe a bit of a chat from you and the other friends making it clear what he is doing is "not great", not only towards his long term friends but also in a future perspective, might be a good idea.

    If this situation had the genders reversed, people would be screaming about abusive relationships and to get the police involved, just sayin'.

    In fairness he's the one to blame. I've met her and she's always been polite and friendly and I can't say anything bad about her but she is definitely a very strong influence on him and she prefers to socialise with her friends and he has made a choice to maker her friends his friends.


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    #12
    H3llR4iser
    Registered Users Posts: 4,027 ✭✭✭H3llR4iser


    Anika Uneven Hornet wrote: »
    In fairness he's the one to blame. I've met her and she's always been polite and friendly and I can't say anything bad about her but she is definitely a very strong influence on him and she prefers to socialise with her friends and he has made a choice to maker her friends his friends.


    No doubt, it's on him to grow a pair; That doesn't exonerate her from responsibility however, the classic excuse "I thought you were ok with it!" is up there with "I was just following orders..." in terms of value. She knew he had organized something else, and she knew she'd be able to sway him her side (because, see above, she knew he wouldn't grow b@lls).


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    #13
    TheDavester
    Registered Users Posts: 3,231 ✭✭✭TheDavester


    Anika Uneven Hornet wrote: »
    In fairness he's the one to blame. I've met her and she's always been polite and friendly and I can't say anything bad about her but she is definitely a very strong influence on him and she prefers to socialise with her friends and he has made a choice to maker her friends his friends.

    ive the same issue with a friend who'se like this, but he seems to attend nights out with his GF's pals (he's the only fella at these nights out) instead of his mates but she has told us that she tells him to go out with us...(eventually i get a text to jump in with them to "entertain him")


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    #14
    ZX7R
    Registered Users Posts: 3,426 ✭✭✭ZX7R


    Did you ever think maybe your mate is a control freak, maybe when he heard the gf was going out with the girls the green eyed monster raised it's head.
    Just throwing it out there as an idea


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