How to know what and what not to communicate in q relationship?

completedit

Sometimes I think I am being to detached and I'll bring up stuff that should probably be left in my head. I don't know what is and isn't there to be shared. How do you know what to filter? Never hd a relationship before and it's going well but still I feel like I'm really behind in terms of know how.

ILoveYourVibes

Its not something i can tell you. It really depends on the individuals involved.

Something you should share with one person in a relationship is not something you should share with another person if you were to enter in a relationship with them.

I think its something you have feel or sense out.

Sorry if that isn't any help op.

Xterminator

Hi OP

there is no universal rulebook. What works for one couple may not work for another.

so listen to ideas, and then decide if you think they will work for you. Try things and if they don't work out, have the courage to change. There is a decent book on amazon and is also an audiobook, if reading i not your forte His & Hers: Relationship Do's & Don'ts Perhaps that will give you good food for thought.

I would personally never go into detail about my sex life with exes. If you have a drug use history and or a criminal record, i wouldn't lie outright, but certainly would be telling her all the gory details on the 1st date. Family skeletons can be left in the closet until you are further into the relationship, where meeting each others families and extended circles of frieds becomes more relevant.

good luck

TheHairyMenace

There is no fixed set of rules for what works in a relationship OP. Share whatever you feel like sharing. If that makes your partner uncomfortable it's for them to tell you that. Communication is crucial but it must also be two-way.

Be yourself, be open, be honest and trust your partner to do the same.

If it doesn't work out then you're just not compatible.

leggo

Compatibility issue. Personally I’m an open book when I’m with someone, I like that filter off feeling of being able to say anything and begin to fester and resent if I’m with someone where I have to walk on eggshells. While there’s stuff I’d never go into because I don’t want to hear the opposite side (eg sex lives with exes), at the same time I don’t mind people talking about exes or talking about people we find attractive because I’m pretty comfortable that it doesn’t threaten me. Especially as I get older, I’ve very little time for changing myself to suit what another person wants, so I need to feel free to say what I want or it won’t work. But yeah, try empathise and gauge it based off “If she started telling me this back about her life, how would I feel?”

Is this the same girl you’ve posted about a few times before, out of interest?