My life is spiraling out of control

LegacyUser

I think I am an alcoholic and my life feels like its spiraling out of control. I was at a family wedding recently and as usual got completely drunk and made a fool out of myself. I brought a man back to my room and offered to perform a sex act on him, just so he wouldn't leave me alone. I begged him not to leave me alone. I can't get over the shame of this. I've lost two friends due to my drinking and I'm starting to miss work. The morning after the wedding my family sat me down to express their concern, and told me they think I'm an alcoholic. I am so depressed and lonely and feel I've lost a grip on my life. It's getting worse and I don't know what to do, giving up drinking feels impossible. I'm in counselling but it's not helping. I really need some advice, if anyone has ever been in the same position or can help me. Thank you.

Giving up alcohol is not impossible..It is hard, and might take you a couple of attempts, but it's doable.. you just have to want to..
Try AA..or NA, if you've ever taken a drug, the demographic might be a bit better..

Like, really, once it becomes a problem, well, it's a problem..it doesn't really stop being a problem..You can try to control it for a while, but it comes back..

Good luck anyway.. giving up kind of takes an adjustment, you don't realize what life is like without the pub, but, you find out it can be different.. it's weird..

Anyway, yeah, it's definitely doable.. take care of yourself..

Maybe Change counsellor OP? Maybe consider something like the 12 steps, not just flogged by Religious fanatics?

Princess Calla

There's an ask me anything thread about one girls journey through rehab for alcoholism, she's very honest and helpful in her answers. Have a read through it.

I think you know yourself that there's a problem, that's the biggest and most important step.

Get rid of any alcohol in your house and don't replace it, that can be your step 2.

Find the cause of your drinking and take steps to fix that.

Best of luck it's a difficult journey but you can do it

cannotlogin

It sounds like you are at a very important crossroads.

You are at the stage where your drinking is causing a problem, foolish behaviour, family concern, lose of 2 friends and it's beginning to effect work too but you still clearly have a family who want to support you and care about you. You still have friends and a job.

Keep going the way you are going and all of that will disappear. You seem to be hanging in the balance. Turn around while you still can. It won't be easy bit it will be worthy it.

I lost a family member and a friend to alcohol. I would have done anything for then to get help initially but as time went on, I realised they were too far gone and there was nothing I could do. Don't wait until your support system is gone. Take the help while it's there because it won't always be.

Best of luck.

is this username available

Your family have already spoken to you and expressed their concern. Next step is with you.

It’s too difficult a journey on your own (for most people). Sit your family or friends or whoever you trust down and tell them you need some help. They already know you have a problem might be waiting for you to take this step yourself.

You recognise the problems, take action now.

Good luck op.

JupiterKid

Hi OP, you have actually taken the first step...you think that you might be an alcoholic and that your drinking has led to the loss of two friends, you are engaging in erratic and risky behaviours, your job could be in jeopardy and your family is getting concerned.

As an alcoholic myself in recovery, I can tell you that now that it’s dawning upon you that you have a serious problem with alcohol, you have two choices - you can drink yourself into complete oblivion - losing all your friends, your job, your family, your home.....and finally at the end of this path, your life itself. Alcohol is called The Great Remover - it will take everything good from your life and whisper in your ear that you only exist to feed your addiction. Serving the addiction leads to insanity, destitution and a lonely, early death. I’ve sadly seen it at first hand many times.

Or you can choose to go and get help - to talk to your GP, an addiction counselor, to go to an AA or a LifeRing meeting, to look into possibly going into residential rehab but, and this is critically important,you must want to change yourself for your recovery to work and get back on the right track. There is no point in seeking to do a recovery programme for your family or your friends - it won’t work. You have to do it for yourself.

It is very possible that the depression and feelings of loneliness are caused by your alcohol intake, or that you are abusing alcohol as a crutch because of deep underlying mental health issues. Either way, you are beginning to realise that you simply cannot continue on this path.

There is a great forum here on Boards called the Non-Drinker’s Forum. It is a forum for those who have struggled with alcohol and are looking for support and advice. I would hope that you might take a look at it and I wish you well in your journey ahead.

kerryjack

Excellent post there jubiterkid . Like a lot of us OP you have no stop button the best way I deal with that is I don't start drinking and avoid at all costs. Wedding are hard I must admit would go to the meal and start doing taxi after that. Can't handle the ****te talk any more and just disappear. I took up cycling, hill walking and love the pool. I am still a bit of a header of course turned into a kind of order freak, organised to the last and love routine. If I get in to a bit of a mood I usally hit the road on the bike, or take a drive to the beach and go for a walk. Best of luck OP on your journey to a better life.

Idbatterim

Drink very low or non alco , night help ween you off it !

Most of my mates who have no issues with alcohol have massively curved the drinking. Feeling like **** for 48 hours , for six hours of the craic on it ... so many benefits to reducing alcohol in take or quitting entirely if you can’t do it in moderation...

The Hound Gone Wild

Alcohol is a drug. Like any other drug addiction it's a physiological and psychological issue. It needs to be treated as such and not self-treated.

Go and speak to your GP and then go and see a psychologist to find the root cause of your drinking.

Noticing the addiction and wanting to change are the two biggest hurdles in management of addiction. It's a lifelong treatment plan that is manageable but takes time to adjust to.

Congratulations and good luck.