Help with ideas for putting baby down

Sarah1916

My baby is 9 weeks and the last few weeks has really struggled with being put down to sleep.

At night she is basically co sleeping at this stage as she won’t settle in the next to me. I really don’t want to co sleep and am not looking for this as a recommendation.

During the day she will sleep on me when breastfeeding or sometimes sleeps in the car seat when driving but other than that she really isn’t getting many naps at all during the day. At night she probably gets about 8 hours broken up into 2/3 stints of sleep.

When I am feeding her and she falls asleep - I put her down and she wakes within 30 seconds and cries until I pick her up. Similarly if I just put her down awake she might stay there quite for a while but doesn’t go asleep (in sleepyhead or bouncer) but again eventually cries to be picked up.

I am just wondering if anyone has any tips for me - potentially she just isn’t a big sleeper and doesn’t need the naps but I really need to try and get her back into the next to me for night time sleep.

One thing to note is I am exclusively breastfeeding.
Last week we had a day out and gave her 3 bottles of expressed milk throughout the day and she slept loads during the day and settled in the crib at night. Makes me think that potentially one cause is she isn’t getting enough food from breastfeeding but I am feeding on demand and it feels like I am feeding her all day every day.

Thanks in advance for any advise.

Princess Calla

Have you tried putting a tshirt over the mattress, just make sure it's all tucked in and secure etc. It will have your scent on it so may help.

CheerLouth

Sounds like you are doing great!

The only thing we really did on our two was to make sure we always did the last feed before bed in the bedroom. So we did bath, jammies, into bedroom, feed & then into the cot or moses basket. I didn't do the cry it out method or anything - if they cried, I always went back into them and settled them again, but I found it really helped to get them to know "this is bedtime". Mine always got daytime and nighttime confused & wanted to sleep all day :rolleyes:

CheerLouth

Oh and we found the sleeping bags great - just in case she is missing the warmth of you when you put her down. They dont really lose the warm feeling when you put them down

bee06

She’s 9 weeks old, she’s tiny and still adjusting to being out in the big bad world. you are her safe place. This is a great article for understanding this adjustment period.

When giving EBM did you do paced bottle feeding? If she has plenty of wet nappies and is gaining weight I wouldn’t be worrying that she’s not getting enough from you.

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2012/11/04/the-fourth-trimester-aka-why-your-newborn-baby-is-only-happy-in-your-arms/amp/

jlm29

It’s hard going, but it’s normal. I’ve had a great sleeper, a desperate sleeper, a bad sleeper, and now I have an alright sleeper. I didn’t do anything different with any of them, they just came out that way. They all (bar the alright sleeper, she’s still only small) are great boys go go to bed and sleep now, so it does pass.
You could try white noise, you could try a sleepyhead or some such pod. Putting a hot water bottle in the co sleeper before you put her in might help, and using a sleeping bag so she doesn’t notice the drop in temps too much might also help. You may or may not be wasting your money with all of those things though.
With the bottles, she may well have taken more than usual, but that doesn’t mean she needed it all at the time, more that she didn’t know when to stop- kind of like Christmas Day where everyone falls asleep on the couch coz they didn’t know when to pull back from the table.

Sarah1916

Thanks everyone - I have a sleepyhead and she wears gro bags to bed. Good to hear that this is all fairly normal and that’s a great article on the fourth trimester thanks. The thing that worries me about co sleeping is that it might be so hard to get her out of that habit so I will keep preserving with trying to get her to sleep in the co sleeper and to nap more often throughout the day. I might try the t shirt tucked into the co sleeper trick and see if makes any difference.

scarepanda

Is the co-sleeper a chicco? I have a travel version of one of those next to me yolks and we abandoned ship at 5 weeks coz my youngest would not sleep in it. She was in with us most night's and I wasn't getting proper sleep. Anyways, we rearranged our room and brought in the cot and instantly she started staying asleep in it. Now at 6 months she's not fantastic (or at least nowhere near as good and her older sister, but we were spoilt with her and sleep) but when she wakes up during the night she gets a feed and popped back into the cot when she's asleep and doesn't wake up unlike the chicco thingy.

shesty

She is only 9 weeks.Low expectations around sleep!

The one thing I did routine for in the first 6-12 weeks was bedtime.So every night around the same time (suit you for now, but I would aim for maybe 9/10pm) I did a little bath, changed clothes, into our room, lights very low or off and did the bedtime feed and settled into the basket (in our case).That marked the change in the day for the baby in a noticeable way.Once they all started the night in their bed, I ran with it.Often they would sleep 3/4 hours, then wake for feeds...and usually ended up in our bed then, particularly the second and third.I stayed with them til they dropped off,let them hold my finger or whatever.The nightime will stretch eventually but if you have them in a bedtime habit at the same time each night, it makes it easier for you in the long run.

Mine never fed to sleep, I had to help them figure out how to drop off independently of feeding.They always woke if they were put down asleep.Honestly it involved a lot of sitting beside the cot and waiting while they dropped off.We used soothers...you could use a soft teddy or something, whatever suits you.You need to create a sleep association for her, but it takes a few weeks.I usually started a structure with naps and that around 11/12 weeks, and tried to do at least one a day in the cot...again, it stands to you over time!!!

lazygal

That's all perfectly usual nine week old behaviour. Look up the fourth trimester. They're making a huge adjustment. I never wanted to cosleep either but needs must. It was a thing of the past by about 14 weeks.

maxsmum

Sleepyhead, soother, a final drop of a bottle while they are lying in the sleepyhead and then lash soother in. Pitch black room. Don't run back for every sniffle, only if they are upset. If you work or are going back to work you definitely want to avoid the cosleeping, as nice as it is, we left it to snuggles in bed first thing in the morning and that way everyone got a great night's sleep.

lazygal

maxsmum wrote: »

Sleepyhead, soother, a final drop of a bottle while they are lying in the sleepyhead and then lash soother in. Pitch black room. Don't run back for every sniffle, only if they are upset. If you work or are going back to work you definitely want to avoid the cosleeping, as nice as it is, we left it to snuggles in bed first thing in the morning and that way everyone got a great night's sleep.

This is not good advice. Breastfeeding has to be done on demand. There's no need for a nine week old to get a bottle at bedtime and of course a baby that small needs to be responded to ASAP.

maxsmum

lazygal wrote: »

This is not good advice. Breastfeeding has to be done on demand. There's no need for a nine week old to get a bottle at bedtime and of course a baby that small needs to be responded to ASAP.

Just what worked for me and I breastfed. Baby slept through fully from 5 or 6 months and still does at 4 years old. I'm sure others have different ways hence the OP asking our opinions.

lazygal

maxsmum wrote: »

Just what worked for me and I breastfed. Baby slept through fully from 5 or 6 months and still does at 4 years old. I'm sure others have different ways hence the OP asking our opinions.

The baby is only 9 weeks though. Hardly even used to life outside the womb.

maxsmum

lazygal wrote: »

The baby is only 9 weeks though. Hardly even used to life outside the womb.

OP has stated she doesn't want to cosleep. Neither did I. So that's my advice. We can all follow different parenting philosophies and end up with healthy and well adjusted children as I'm sure both you and I have, fortunately. I'm hardly advocating a Romanian orphanage approach.

jlm29

maxsmum wrote: »

Sleepyhead, soother, a final drop of a bottle while they are lying in the sleepyhead and then lash soother in. Pitch black room. Don't run back for every sniffle, only if they are upset. If you work or are going back to work you definitely want to avoid the cosleeping, as nice as it is, we left it to snuggles in bed first thing in the morning and that way everyone got a great night's sleep.

Its perfectly possible to go back to work if you’re co-sleeping. I don’t see the logic in that statement tbh (Sorry OP for the off-topic)

fits

I too worked while cosleeping. Every Baby will sleep independently in their own time.

Sarah1916

Thanks everyone for all of your input. We have had a great few days since I posted this and my little one has had a long nap each day which is good as I was a little bit afraid she wasn’t getting enough sleep. She has also (mainly) slept in the sleepyhead in the co sleeper crib at night. I am currently cuddling here now as she sleeps after a quick feed before I put her back down. I really do love the cuddles and dread the day she won’t be want them anymore!

riemann

Shotgun?

Dravokivich

riemann wrote: »

Shotgun?

No.