Still affected by doing vigil for my grandmother

vetinari

Not sure if vigil is the right word.
3 years ago, I happened to be home (I live abroad) around the same time my grandmother passed away. Truth be told, I didn't really like the woman. She (she was my fathers mother) was a total bitch to my mother and they had been estranged for years.


My grandmother was in the throes of dying for 6 days. I ended up doing a lot of shifts for keeping watch since I was home and not working. Honestly I think a large part of the reason it still affects me is how unnatural the whole experience felt. You're sitting next to someone who's unconscious and actively dying for hours on end. It was the first time I'd experienced that.


No one really talks about these types of situations but they must be reasonably common. It still surprises me though by how much it still affects me. It's like a very raw emotion.

Macha

Yes I sat beside my mum for 3 days when she was in a coma before dying. I loved her with all of me and miss her desperately. I still get flashbacks. It's very traumatic so it's good you're talking about it here.

Have you talked to any of your family about it?

John Mason

I understand. It took my mother 5 days to die, i was spending nights and days in the hospital in rotation with another family member. I am absolutely trumatised by her death rattle, the fluids she brought up and the whole process really. It wasnt a peaceful death

18 months later and I am still getting very disturbing flashbacks. Anyone I have spoken to about it, have been very dismissive about it even my counsellor.
Sometimes I think I have PTSD but i dont know if that is being dramatic.

I dont have any solutions for you unfortunately.