Afraid i went over the top at first Aware meeting

LegacyUser

So I have had depression for about 2 years now. I am on medication and speaking to a counsellor, who suggested I attend Aware, as they felt it might help to be with people in the same boat. I was nervous but after mulling it over, I thought it would be no harm to at least attend and see what it was like. I don't have a lot of friends at all so group meetings intimidate me. I picked a meeting 50 miles away so I wouldn't bump into someone I know and went for it.

The facilitators (2) were lovely and after a few mins we started the meeting, there was about 10 people, mixed in age from 20 to 60, men and women. When we were asked did we want to share anything, something inside me just flicked and I decided to share with these total strangers how lonely I felt at times, and that everyone seems to have their mates and families to occupy them, and nobody really cares about single people who have few friends, which is a harsh truth. I cried then, couldn't help it. I think I crossed a line when I said about people who are in relationships simply having no idea how hard it is to be single. Im sure some of them had families and they were looking at me blankly.

They seemed compassionate to me and im not the only one who cried but im the only one who cried for that long and was that dramatic and I think I got a flinch from one of the facilitators as if to say "wow, I didn't sign up for this", again that may have been in my head but I left the meeting in two minds- glad I could open up to strangers but feeling distinctly silly for being so dramatic and crying on Day 1. Should you spend the first few of these meetings just saying nothing/observing before jumping in? Thoughts?

strandroad

OP you experienced unburdening... you let out what was building up for years, you shared it with the world, you started working on it. I'm sure your facilitators have seen them over and over, your group mates maybe not so much but they will over time and you will see new joiners going through them as well. With the right support they can be very liberating, like the start of a sea change, and it looks like the group is supportive. Please continue, and make sure that you offer understanding and support when others share their burden with the group.

Fizzlesque

OP, there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you did or said. Years ago I attended CBT and when the therapist handed me a form to fill in my name and address etc, I burst into tears and barely stopped crying long enough to complete the form - we had to leave the form filling till the end because the session got kicked off immediately due to my emotional outburst. In fact, I cried for pretty much the entire session. Sometimes we're holding all our pain in for so long, when the time comes to start letting go it can be like a dam has burst.

I hope you will return to the group and allow yourself to fully express all that's hurting you. The group facilitators have most likely seen it all before - I know I've done my share of expressing raw emotion in group or one-to-one counselling sessions and it has very rarely been pretty.

You don't need to observe quietly for a while before sharing. If it feels right to start talking, (which it seems it did for you) then that's the right thing to do. Your feelings are just as valid as everyone else's. I hope things get better for you soon.