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Books on grief

  • 25-09-2019 7:46am
    #1
    Jilly14
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21 ✭


    Hi,
    One of best friends husbands died tragically a few months ago. I wanted to get her a book on bereavement & grief. I'm wondering first of all if this is a good idea & if so are there any books that are recommended.
    She is in her thirties with young children.
    Any advice would be appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    SirChenjin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,111 ✭✭✭SirChenjin


    It's a difficult one because grief and grieving is a deeply personal thing and what helps one person may not help another. On Death and Dying by Elzabeth Kubler-Ross is a book I have seen recommended elsewhere - I am not familiar with the book, however.
    If you take a look at bookseller sites such as veritas online, you will see that there's quite a variety of books available. I guess it would also depend on someone's individual beliefs, what they might find helpful.

    I think for now, just try to be there for her and gently suss out at some point whether she might find books helpful. Bereavement counselling is something that might help, down the line, if she feels up to it.

    You are obviously a very good friend. :)


  • #3
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,282 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Its a lovely thought but is fraught with the risk of your friend being offended by the gesture.
    I was in a similar situation and in my initial couple of years post bereavement, an attempt to give me such a book no matter how well placed the sentiment would likely have led me to believe that you thought I wasn't coping.

    I found widow.ie a great help initially, I don't know if it's still active?
    But it really was a godsend when I was struggling.

    A grief observed by CS Lewis and It's Ok That You're Not OK by Megan Devine are 2 I found some comfort in.

    It very much depends on what you hope to achieve with the book too IMO.
    Giving someone a book on grief could easily be seen as a cue to read this, pull yourself together and start moving on...
    I really don't think that's where you are coming from, other than genuine concern for your friend I don't think you have an ulterior motive.
    But...
    Grief is insidious and selfish and clouds judgement.
    How your gesture is received has to be considered through the lens of your friends state of mind and how she may perceive the gesture.


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