Hen party - who to invite

Teach30

Just wondering how do you decide who goes to the hen. I would like to keep it fairly small, I don’t want a big fuss at all.

I’ve made a list of people closest to me who I will invite, them I went onto close ish friends who hen parties I have been at and I would like them to attend. finally I am left with women I work with who I would chat to but wouldn’t necessarily be very good friends with. Am I expected to invite them to the hen? Considering I want to keep it small.

It it acceptable/appropriate to offer them an invite to the wedding if they have not been invited to the hen. I’m really clueless when it come to the etiquette surrounding this. I personally wouldn’t have a problem with it but I’m worried that they’ll take offence if they aren’t asked to hen also. They love to talk and give out and I would rather not be on the receiving end but I also don’t want to make something all about others for once in my life!

jellybear

If you'd like to include work colleagues without inviting them to the hen, just do a nice lunch with them on the day you finish up before the wedding. Be honest and say you're having a small hen, not as a justification or anything, just be upfront so they're under no illusions or impression they're being invited. Try not to worry about it as honestly, it's not worth the stress

niceoneted

you say 'women I work with who I would chat to but wouldn’t necessarily be very good friends with.'
are you inviting these people to your wedding? there is no need to. also no need to invite to hen either.
They will have less to talk about if they are not at your hen or wedding.

Teach30

niceoneted wrote: »

you say 'women I work with who I would chat to but wouldn’t necessarily be very good friends with.'
are you inviting these people to your wedding? there is no need to. also no need to invite to hen either.
They will have less to talk about if they are not at your hen or wedding.

Yes will be inviting to wedding but don’t have room at hen for them. They’ll have lots to talk about if they’re not invited to wedding. Staffroom politics v difficult to navigate. I’m friends with them but wouldn’t go ringing them for a chat etc. They’re just nice work colleagues.

Teach30

niceoneted wrote: »

you say 'women I work with who I would chat to but wouldn’t necessarily be very good friends with.'
are you inviting these people to your wedding? there is no need to. also no need to invite to hen either.
They will have less to talk about if they are not at your hen or wedding.

Yes will be inviting to wedding but don’t have room at hen for them. They’ll have lots to talk about if they’re not invited to wedding. Staffroom politics v difficult to navigate. I’m friends with them but wouldn’t go ringing them for a chat etc. They’re just nice work colleagues.

shesty

Do you see your work colleagues outside work (besides work social functions?).If not, then no.Don't invite them.

Teach30

shesty wrote: »

Do you see your work colleagues outside work (besides work social functions?).If not, then no.Don't invite them.

Thanks for the input. Don’t invite to hen or don’t invite to wedding though?

If I was to avoid asking them to the wedding I might as well not ask my closer friends either as I would only see them once every few months for a night out or something. I’d see the work girls every day though. In reality I don’t have “best friends” or that sort of thing. Just people I’d talk to at work and then school friends I’ve known for years who I go out with on occasion.

I wouldn’t ring any of them for chats - colleagues or school friends etc during week so hard to pin down who to bring to hen and then who to ask to full wedding. Just gonna go with who I like the most I think and hope for the best..

juneg

If you're in a small school and you're going to be in the same staff room and obviously working closely with these colleagues for the next 20 or 30 years then yes invite them to the wedding. It'll be easier on the long run. The hen party however no way! That's for fun not work politics!!

skallywag

I would see the hen as a more personal thing, where you want to have those that know you well, and that you like, around you.

I would invite them to the wedding, not the hen.

splinter65

Only invite your closest friends/loved ones to the hen.
These people probably don’t want to spend a whole weekend with other people they don’t know.
Why would they?
Then people don’t know how to decline invitations any more either so they’ll feel they have to accept.
Invite them to the evening part of the wedding instead.